Villar Bilyar Note

As it turned out, aquagel should not be a penis-extender. It should only be used to cure freckles. So now the Fil-Am has blemish-free pinyot. Problem is, it is now misshapen. So the litigation continues. Now who wants to use his pinyot for a billiard cue. Is there anyone ther desiring his to be tipped with a blue chalk and then used to hit balls far harder than a boner? Now I don't want to end my blog (going to Manila later noon) with this disturbing note, so I give you a picture . So Nash , are these cornics now that they're wet?

The Villar Bilyar Memo

Lesbians on Lesbos

I wrote about the residents of Lesbos wanting to get their "Lesbian" tag from the lesbians. Now let's read the comments from the The Register:

As a British resident on Lesvos, I'm trying to get my male Greek friends to wear "Lesbian and Proud" badges. Not much success so far...

That depends on how exactly you define "male". It's not exactly easy to come up with a good, robust definition of "male" even in the strictly biological sense. Transsexuals make things even more confusing, though at least they know whether they're male or not. Still, apparently transsexual lesbians do exist. (There was even a fairly entertaining episode of Dark Angel based around this.) For male lesbians, though, you might be better off looking in Second Life - apparently some of the in-world lesbians are males in real life and it's caused huge amounts of e-drama in the past. (Probably still does - I don't really follow Second Life-related news anymore, and I'm not sure it'd really count as news either.)

What about the Samaritans, Philistines, Vandals, Huns, Goths, and Spartans? Which would you prefer to put up with, spartan accomodation vandalised by philistine goths, or some lesbians? I think the Lesbians have got their priorities mixed up.

Actually..... One of the few advantages of being transgendered is that you can happily ignore all labels such as 'straight' or 'gay' and have sex with whoever you like..

Surely the residents of the island are, erm, 'Greek'? This is like people on the island of Arran calling themselves Aryan; we all know what that lead to...

It won't be farmers, it'll be the Dutch. They've been using dykes for a long time. Think of the boy who stuck a finger in one...

So the island is not "Lesbos" nor "Lesvos" but Λέσβος What's the problem again?

What are the residents of Phuket called?

My Sad Republic: May 1 for Botched Sex

A Fil-Am thought he can get cheaper operations on his pinyot. Had it filled up with Aquagel by the "Doctor of the Stars." Well, the pinyot is now misshapen and it's suing time!!!
Also the embarrassment of being caught in a car sex. Sorry, mga pare, only the citizens of the Island of Lesbos should now be called Lesbians. Thom, Zaldy and Andy are planning to go to Chile where one town is giving away Viagra.David Blaine was able to hold his breath for more than 17 minutes. He will be able to use that prowess into something kinky
And this from the Hongkong Standard:

A Filipino bartender at the Fenwick at the Dock nightclub in Lockhart Road, Wan Chai, said she saw Cherry with an expatriate man in the bar at about 1am on the same day. At 3.55am, Cherry was also seen inside the Show Biz Nightclub on the same street with an expatriate man. Nightclub owner Lau Yin said Cherry had asked to take a Filipino dancer, Michelle Callejas, out for a meal and the pair had left with the dancer after he settled an HK$8,506 bill. Cherry returned alone to Fenwick at the Dock between 5am and 6am, asking to take the Filipino bartender and her friend to breakfast at The Bridge, a nearby bar. The bartender, who left work at 7am, said they declined but her friend saw Cherry alone at The Bridge. Cherry made his last call, to his secretary Helen Lee, at 8am asking for her to deliver HK$10,000 cash to the hotel and cancelling an afternoon meeting, Ms Lee said. She dropped off the cash to the front desk in a sealed envelope at 9am. A hotel staff member slid the envelope under the door to Cherry's room at 10.15am, the court heard. Mr Li said he saw no envelope near the doorway when he found the dead pair at about 3pm after he entered with a master key when repeated knocks went unanswered. The court will hear a two-hour video interview with Michelle Callejas, 20, who had been subpoenaed for the inquest. The coroner's officer said the dancer had already left the city and police had no jurisdiction to enforce the subpoena. The inquest continues today.

Pregnancy for Idiots

Some of those who got pregnant but more from the impregnators. Anyways, here's the guide:

How to Spot a Persian Pokpok

The visual difference between an ordinary citizen wearing makeup who happens to be standing alone and an actual prostitute is, again, quite subtle. Apparently, mistakes are not uncommon.

Viagra Cowboy Joke

An elderly Benguet cowboy went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for the little blue Viagra pill.

The pharmacist asked 'How many?'

The cowboy replied, 'Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces.'

The pharmacist said, 'That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex.'

The old fellow said, 'Ania nga sex? I'm 80 and I don't care about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my new boots.

Girlfriends

Why you will not have a girlfriend (First Worlders only)
Why you will marry the pretty ladies (click if you're handsome)
And if you're a Pinoy dreaming of going to the States through your dashing looks alone, here's your last chance

kæb ɪdʒ

Hey, nice underwear

Forgetfulness

Excuse us men if we forget dates, birthdays and many things. Another disadvantage of males: Men were one-and-a-half times more likely to have mild cognitive impairment than women. The prevalence in men increased from 12 percent in men ages 70 to 74 up to 40 percent in the oldest age group, ages 85 to 89. The finding remained the same regardless of a man's education or marital status.

Crazy Post

I am in Ilocos right now, listening to a local Ilocano radio station announcer reading texts. One sender wrote "BTW" and the announcer tried pronouncing it as "bitiw" or "bitew" or "bataw." Dumbfounding. Fifty words women hate Number 9 is male pattern baldness. No 20 is Superbowl.
Tentacle love. Please explain

W.H.Auden's Porn Poem

The Platonic Poem

Our eyes met. I felt sick. My knees turned weak.
I couldn't move. I didn't know what to say.
In a blur I heard words, myself like a stranger speak
"Will you come to my room?" Then a husky voice, "O.K."

This is the only stanza I can quote. The rest are pornographic but in rhyme.

L Blogger

Archu? Test here:

1. You post song lyrics of a song on your blog, as though the songwriter wrote it specially for your miserable soul. Ya, right.
2. You talk about how discriminated you feel against homophobes and concurrently, why you hate men. How ironic.
3. You have a category dedicated to your fluctuating emotions called, erm, Emotions.
4. You vengefully and viciously write about how your Ex has started dating your best friend.
5. You post eeeeeeendless photographs of yourself and that delicately waxed-to-death hair of yours.
6. You post eeeeeeendless photographs of your pussy. And I mean the cat.
7. You don’t blog on Thursday nights because you’re at Play with the girls.
8. A rainbow flag don the corner of your blog.
9. Your Google AdSense has ads promoting GAY COWBOYS and 12-INCH-DILDOS.
10. You have blankanvas on your Blogroll.

Columbus Introduced Syphilis

Well, he didn't get it from the Philippines but I'm sure the blame game switched directions this time. Scientific American is now saying Columbus, or maybe his men, introduced syphilis in their return in 1493 to Europe. The first recorded case was in 1495. So the basic theory is that syphilis came from the New World, which is, sing it Lea Salonga, the South or now the Third World or the developing world.

Researchers from Emory University in Atlanta report in the online journal PLoS Neglected Tropical Diseases that they used phylogenetics—the study of the evolutionary link between organisms—to study 26 geographically scattered strains of a family of bacteria known as Treponemes, which are behind the sexually transmitted disease syphilis as well as related nonvenereal infections such as yaws. They found that the venereal syphilis-causing strains arose relatively recently in humans and are closely related to an ancient infection isolated in South America that gives rise to yaws.

As Anthony Hopkins said in Dracula, civilization is always followed by syphilization. We gave their VDs and their nights were never the same again.
Yes, dearie. It's not only potatoes which we gifted you.

The Top Pinoy alt.media Acts (The Dirty Version)

1) The Salgado PowerPoint
2) Gwen Garci Sikyu Act
3) Cindy Kurleto's nipple slip
4) iy%ttube
5) The (name your municipality) Scandal 16 in 1
6) The Baywalk scandal (inamin naman eh)
7) The Holy Grail (G**** with Chavit)
8) Katrina Halili's paa ng kamel
9) The real Cebu Penitentiary Thriller with Mr. Garcia and his prison gals
10)Alyssa Alano's YouTube Keys Me

email me. he he he

Ike and Tina: The Continuing Saga

Didn't you know that Tina Turner guested in Joe Quirino's Seeing Stars with JQ. A proud moment in Filipino TV History but the nadir in Tina's career because that was the time when she was escaping from Ike's clutches, being a beaten wife and all. She gave away Fita Biscuits and Nagaraya Nuts to JQ's guests! And now that Ike is dead and Tina is the Grandmother of Rock, New York Post gave us this funny/terrible headline.

Attractiveness and Heredity

They have proved it on fruit flies (how did scientists know attractiveness in flies? They held a beauty contest) and now they want to make a sweeping genealization in the whole animal kingdom: attractive fathers beget desirable sons. Now I pity the sons of my friends.

Wonder Cure

Yes, it's a vibrator. Decades ago, scientists said that it will cure hysteria. Little did they know...

This is Enmity for You, Andy Z

Vijayjay

From Harper's Weekly: The New York Times Style section published a feature on the rise of the term "vajayjay" to describe female genitalia. "The reason that vajayjay has caught on, I think, is because there is a black --Southern especially-- naming tradition, which is to have names like Ray Ray and Boo Boo and things like that," said John H. McWhorter, a linguist at the Manhattan Institute. "It sounds warm and familiar and it almost makes the vagina feel like a little cartoon character with
eyes that walks around."
And top golfer Vijay Singh, who complained about women joining the men's tour, would be very, very nervous indeed.