Unconventional Way to Understand Basketball Part 1

In Honor of World Environment Day

Martin Masadao sent us this ingenious recycling made by one of our young Pinoy entrepreneurs. Also here for the front.

Know Your Signs

Woody Allen Does Civil Disobedience

Woody Allen wrote this piece in the late 1960s when civil dissent was in bloom in the US. Of course, it was funny in the Woody Allen of yore and know what, it still applies:

A Short Essay on Civil Disobedience

In perpetuating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly. In the Chinese Revolution of 1650 neither party showed up and the deposit on the hall was forfeited.

The people or parties revolted against are called the “oppressors” and are easily recognized as they seem to be the ones having all the fun. The “oppressors” generally get to wear suits, own land and play their radios late at night without being yelled at. Their job is to maintain the “status quo,” a condition where everything remains the same although they may be willing to paint every two years.

When the oppressors become too strict, we have what is called the police state, wherein all dissent is forbidden, as in chuckling, showing up in a bow tie, or referring to the mayor as “Fats.” Civil liberties are greatly curtailed in a police state, and freedom of speech is unheard of, although one is allowed to mime to a record. Opinions critical to the government are not tolerated, particularly about their dancing. Freedom of the press is also curtailed and the ruling party “manages” the news, permitting the citizens to hear only acceptable political ideas and ball scores that will not cause unrest.

The groups who revolt are called the “oppressed” and can generally be seen milling around and grumbling or claiming to have headaches. (It should be noted that oppressors never revolt and accept to become the oppressed as that would entail a change of underwear.)

For a part of the rest (see comment)

Billboard

Playboy Philippines was here, and before that was Penthouse Philippines. Playboy and Penthouse are skin flicks but when you add "Philippines," they become sanitized i.e. "cleaner" than FHM. This was the case of Penthouse Thailand years and years ago. As they say, Why buy this when you can ___ a real one in ___? In the case of Playboy Philippines, I heard that Krip and Butch would be writing there and I also plan to write something for it also. Until I get to buy a copy. Anyway, here's a Playboy billboard. In the morning, when kids are frolicking, it's just an orange wall. At night, with the two lights, you get the imagination going. The "Playboy" also becomes "Play,boy!" but it's just icing.

Ang Bisikleta ni Jun Lana

My Sad Republic: May 1 for Botched Sex

A Fil-Am thought he can get cheaper operations on his pinyot. Had it filled up with Aquagel by the "Doctor of the Stars." Well, the pinyot is now misshapen and it's suing time!!!
Also the embarrassment of being caught in a car sex. Sorry, mga pare, only the citizens of the Island of Lesbos should now be called Lesbians. Thom, Zaldy and Andy are planning to go to Chile where one town is giving away Viagra.David Blaine was able to hold his breath for more than 17 minutes. He will be able to use that prowess into something kinky
And this from the Hongkong Standard:

A Filipino bartender at the Fenwick at the Dock nightclub in Lockhart Road, Wan Chai, said she saw Cherry with an expatriate man in the bar at about 1am on the same day. At 3.55am, Cherry was also seen inside the Show Biz Nightclub on the same street with an expatriate man. Nightclub owner Lau Yin said Cherry had asked to take a Filipino dancer, Michelle Callejas, out for a meal and the pair had left with the dancer after he settled an HK$8,506 bill. Cherry returned alone to Fenwick at the Dock between 5am and 6am, asking to take the Filipino bartender and her friend to breakfast at The Bridge, a nearby bar. The bartender, who left work at 7am, said they declined but her friend saw Cherry alone at The Bridge. Cherry made his last call, to his secretary Helen Lee, at 8am asking for her to deliver HK$10,000 cash to the hotel and cancelling an afternoon meeting, Ms Lee said. She dropped off the cash to the front desk in a sealed envelope at 9am. A hotel staff member slid the envelope under the door to Cherry's room at 10.15am, the court heard. Mr Li said he saw no envelope near the doorway when he found the dead pair at about 3pm after he entered with a master key when repeated knocks went unanswered. The court will hear a two-hour video interview with Michelle Callejas, 20, who had been subpoenaed for the inquest. The coroner's officer said the dancer had already left the city and police had no jurisdiction to enforce the subpoena. The inquest continues today.

Scoop: The Next Filipino President

Well, as usual the Inquirer has outscooped you all here.

Paul Joke

These are all good persons named Paul:
Only a Pinoy can make a sentence out of them.
Answer here

Piss Left, Piss Right

Trees

You will not look at the trees or a tree the same way after clicking on this and even if you're on drugs.
And then if you are interested about the Kalinga bodong and the tribal wars they are trying to mend, then take a look at New Guinea. Here's anthropologist Jared Diamond's essay on the tribal wars there.
The UK Telegraph tries to give their best 100 films

Viagra Cowboy Joke

An elderly Benguet cowboy went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for the little blue Viagra pill.

The pharmacist asked 'How many?'

The cowboy replied, 'Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces.'

The pharmacist said, 'That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex.'

The old fellow said, 'Ania nga sex? I'm 80 and I don't care about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my new boots.

Breaking Wind, Breaking Shell

First Line is the Deepest

my other blog has some one-liners you can use

Obama, You Have a Call Center

Mad's Fold-Ins You Can Really Fold With Your Mouse

The respected New York Times went down to the level of Mad Magazine and presented a folio of its more famous and politically-inclined fold-ins usually located on the inside back cover.

Indian Kidnapper Joke

This is a take on a famous urban legend. Remember how your mother scared you into sleeping because if you don't a Bumbay will come and take you. Now this story tells us that Indian nationals are indeed into kidnapping. Their ring leader is Surinder Singh. So the police would only shout:
Pulis, ini! Surinder, Magsurrender ka na!!!!

Political Ad

Actual Cockpit Transcript

Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

The Reason He Hates Chicken

Police in Malda, India, were battling avian flu by 
conducting a poultry massacre. "We have planned to
collect 'backyard chickens' from the houses in the evening
and kill all of them late at night," said the district's
deputy director of animal-resources development,
N. K. Shit.