Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Maya Lin

I had a crush on Maya Lin ever since I saw her in a National Geographic magazine. I went to the Vietnam Wall with a Croat friend in 1996 and tried to find a brother of a friend to no avail. Maya Lin had been doing daring, noncommercial works ever since like the King Memorial in Sanfran, the 11 minute line in Sweden and many many others. She would be awarded the 25 year award for architects which I believe is given four times a century.

Popoy Valencia

Ernesto "Popoy" Valencia, 1970 Philippine Collegian Editor-in-Chief, SDK member during the FQS, CEGP alumnus, nationalist economist, professor, columnist and writer died last January 25, 2007 of cardiac arrest in San Fernando Pampanga. He was 56. His remains were cremated today.

On Thursday, February 1, 2007 at 6 pm, a parangal in his honor is going to be held at the Bulwagang Tandang Sora, College of Social Work and Community Development, UP Diliman. The parangal is sponsored by the SDK Foundation, the First Quarter Storm Movement and the Philippine Collegian. Popoy's sister, Richie Valencia-Buenaventu ra, who is now based in Australia, will join us in the parangal.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

SLU Excuse (Freudian) Slips

I was a lecturer of the Cordillera Tertiary Press Conference this afternoon and I chanced upon a copy fo the SLU Magazien, the Sapientia. I was intrigued by one article about the english proficiency fo the Saint Louis college student, specifically the excuse slips they wrote. It was already the second part so I missed on teh first part. But still the excuse slips compiled by Andrew Macalma were revealing and funny:

1) I was late because I went out to take my launch.
2) I had missles.
3) Reason for tardiness: Because of the coalition of Jeepneys.
4) The jeepney had a sudden mechanical destroy.
5) I need to ride two taxis which is not continuously passing.
6) (I have) mind grain.
7) Loss bowel movement
8) Soar throat.
9) Step neck.
10) "I was absent for two weeks because I have Chicken Folks."
11) "High fiber, needed chick-up"
12) Not feeling Will
13) I will ask my parents to come next week so that SAO personnel can took to them.
14) Sorry sir, I forgot to ware my ID
15) I promise not to wear it again (the student was asked not to wear tattered jeans) and I promise to saw it as soon as possible.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Pig Kisses, Butterfly Armpits and Mau's Window Cat

Thanks again, Maui

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Idol ko si Kuya

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Speaking of horribly-killed chicken, here's my story on pinikpikan:

A single word can spell the difference for the pinikpikan industry here that is why local politicians said they need more consultation with their village elders here regarding the implementing rules of the animal welfare act which is set to be approved next month.

The word is "immediate" as in to "ensure immediate death of the animal at the shortest possible time is likewise acceptable" in the implementing rules and regulations regarding ritual animals for indigenous peoples.

Pinikpikan means the beating a chicken to death with a stick and then singeing its feathers. It is the favorite way of serving chicken not only among the IPs here but also the lowlanders.

That is why this tasty dish is also known as "killing me softly" because of the way it is prepared. The coagulated blood adds flavor to the stew.

Benguet Vice Gov. Cresencio Pacalso during the consultation on ritual animals here said they will still consult their village elders about pinikpikan.

Pinikpikan sacrifice is integral in Cordillera ritual life because the chicken is used to appease spirits and the slow squawk of the fowl, particularly a rooster, is needed to call attention to the spirits.

But the proposed passage in the rules and regulations in the implementation of Sec. 6 (regarding the use of animals during rituals of an established religion or sect or by tribal or ethic customs of indigenous cultural communities) of Republic Act 8485 or the Animal Welfare Act of 1998 stated that "all animals used as part of a religious ritual or ritual required by a tribal custom shall be sacrificed only by using humane procedures or methods that would ensure immediate death of the animal. The animal should not be exposed to unnecessary pain or distress before or during the ritual."

Another controversial passage in the IRR specifically called for the prohibition on the "use of painful procedures like burning while alive, whipping, beating, tail twisting, breaking of shoulder or neck bones, putting pressure on eyes, ears or external genitalia to control the animal or as means to kill the same."

Melchor Alipio, country representative of UK-based Network for Animals, said that pinikpikan may still be allowed for ritual purposes as long as the one beating the chicken would not sadistically prolong it.

One suggestion given during the forum here called for severing the spinal system of the chicken to paralyze it but others said the squawk is important to the ritual.

All ritual slaughters would have to be coordinated to the punong barangay or village chief before or after the event, the IRR said.

But passing by the streets her or even in Baguio showed that pinikpikan is a flourishing industry here.

Broiler culls or layers past their prime and bought from egg farms in Bulacan and nearby provinces are preferred because they are considered tastier for pinikpikan.

In some restaurants here, the chicken feather is no longer singed through a slow fire but through a blowtorch.

Martin's M. Favorite Poems

He wrote: Was going through my old files and found my journal written a decade ago (plus some years), found these great poems I'd like to share with you. Somehow they take on a different meaning now...

by Alice Walker

I'm really very fond of you,
he said.

I don't like fond.
It sounds like something
you would tell a dog.

Give me love,
or nothing.

Throw your fond in a pond,
I said.

But what I felt for him
was also warm, frisky,
and could swim away

if forced to do so.

by Michael Leunig

Hold on to it like
you hold a day old

Hold on to it like
you hold a live fish.

Hold on to it like you
hold a horse.

Hold on to it like you
hold a bowl of soup.

Hold on to it like you
hold a door open for
the queen mother.

Letting go of it is
just as difficult and
shall be dealt with
at some later stage.

I only chose two and Leunig's day old chicken is not OUR day old chicken which we pierce, batter, deep fry then dip in godknowswhatsauceisthatjustimagineittobecholerafreewearepinoysafterall.

Massage at North Haven


Here is our correspondent Martin M's verse:

A monkey
with an erection
greeted me
at Bencab's house
the day
to quit cruising.

19 October 1991 ( I believe I wrote this the day after I almost got mugged in Burnham Park. hahahahahahahaha)

Hi Martin! Im Bencab

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Periodic Table of Failed Elements


From Krip Yuson's column:
Then we got a send-up from the young poet Paolo Javier in NY: "Congrats
are in order for Patrick Rosal, whose poem 'The Blue Room' was recently
selected as one of the 'Best of the Net 2006'!
Patrick has authored a couple of poetry collections, both published by
Persea Books: Uprock Headspin Scramble and Dive which won the 2003 Asian
American Writers' Workshop Members' Choice Award, and My American
Kundiman, a recent release he sent us a copy of, and which we should be
reviewing in this space soon.
He came over for a visit late last year, chilled out in Baguio for a month
in the company of fellow poet Frank Cimatu and gang, maybe did some
breakdancing on Session Road. Then on his Manila stopover we arranged for
him to read (more like perform) at Mag:net. He was terrific, and "The Blue
Room" was one of the poems he delivered with great rapper's energy and
astute vocal handling of lines and phrases — plus nuggets of revelation! —
as excellent on the auditory plane as they are on paper.

Hey thanks are in order to Grace, Chon, Padma, Gary K. and the wonderful people of Rumors for giving Patrick a hell of a night.

The Blue Room

That was the year I first smelled a girl
on my fingers – a consensus of sweat and blood
and bloom – the same year a skinny Polish kid and me
turned a recess tussle into a year-long fight
not long after I learned “Hotel California” on the guitar
and squeaked a desperate chorus to every
freckled schoolyard chick who’d listen
That was the first year I believed the white boys
who bragged about all the sex they’d had It seemed
everything by then was a race so there I was still
crouched at puberty’s starting blocks anxious
to sprint toward that orangutan manhood of my own
Each afternoon at the library across the street
from St. Francis Convent where nuns without
last names came and went (the ones who taught us
to memorize the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit and
to avoid the only two kinds of sin that mattered–
mortal and fun) Carrie Anne Evaloy and I
would loiter between stacks of big-print novels and
artbook nudes reclined in some French meadow
We hid behind racks of Boy’s Life and Highlights
finally crept upstairs to an empty lights-out
high-ceiling high-windowed vault of a space
where everything gave up its color
for some vague shade of blue
where she and I jammed our tongues
into each other’s mouths -– more lost than lustful -–
where I lifted her plaid skirt and she goose-stepped
out of her panties and I pulled down
her bra to taste her nipples pink and perked
between my lips Of course
I didn’t want to – I had to
What could be more Catholic

Sometimes I wonder what’s become of that
strong-thighed half-French/half-Irish gymnast who let me
for one year in the Blue Room of the public library
slowjam and slopkiss her from neck to hip–two of us
dodging the few beams of afternoon that lit
the slant columns of dust our bodies unsettled until
we emerged into the full light back
downstairs to the other kids: her friends in one corner
and the white boys in another waiting–hungrily–
to sniff the what-was-it-like musk of my hands
and inhale from my fingers the perfume of a future
they swore they already knew

-Patrick Rosal (Boxcar Poetry Review)

Would You Like Fries With That?

Taken by Mau. Thanks!

Sunday, January 21, 2007


Don't fool thyself: You watched all thsoe Rocky movie for the punches not for the dailogue. You can't even understand what Sly was saying. So why bother, here's Rocky's greatest hits.

The Fantastic Four. Not.

Half of art is knowing when to stop. These showbiz artists didn't know when to stop.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Laugh at Death

Christine, Tonywacs and George

They come in threes. Let's start with Christine Arvisu, patron of the arts and owner of the defunct Phoenix Gallery and co-owner of Cafe by The Ruins. Isnabera si Christine but you have to live with that. She is really a sweet soul. She fought for the artists and comforted and fed them. She died of cancer and when she did, Baguio had an unscheduled brownout. She sucked out all our brightness for a while. A few days before she died, Tonywacs had a stroke. I was just talking with him a few hours before he had that stroke. Together with Andy and Mau, we started the Kape-ti-Niteb Hour at Volante. We interviewed Koreans, clean air advocates, organic farmers, pedestrian experts. We in other words talked about good people who have no media mileage becuase they have no money. We earned the ire of the so-called conventional media and were accused of fleecing these people. We had a laugh with that one. We were talking about the giant condom when he had that stroke. It was just a mild one because we still continued our conversation when he was in the hospital. But complications including diabetes and depression took over and he died last week. He was buried today and just this dawn, George Jularbal died of emphysema. George was a long time PNA writer and a Baguio boy. He was a longtime friend of my brother DomC and my editor Rolly. In fact, Rolly was asking us for his telephone number yesterday because he and his friend were supposed to meet up with him. Then I texted Rolly about George's death. When we did the tarpaulin for Tonywacs, I was searching hard for a good epitaph. Andy had a good photo of him walking at John Hay. The sky was blue and he was smiling. It was two weeks before his stroke. I was thinking, "Let's go to the mountains and leave it all behind" from that John Kaizan Neptune song. Andy said it sounded like Tonywacs was being recruited by the NPAs. Then I thought of Tagore and his famous quote about life: Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. The printer made it "in the tip of a leaf." So life's dance went inward. During his last night, Padma, Karlo and Ferdie (he has young friends and old enemies) showed his last cameo of the movie they are now editing. OA mo pala, Tonywacs. We had a good laugh with that one. At about 1:00 am, I got a text from Padma: Where the hell are you. The party's just started. I can't sleep till 3 am. Yun pala, namatay si George. The only time I was in a coverage with Mang George was during the burial of the mummy of Anno, the great Ibaloi warrior. He drunk so hard and was his happy self. He was covering for a Middle East newspaper. He said he would be retiring and that would be his last piece. Apt enough: Anno, a great warrior coming home at last after a stint in an American circus and the mascot of the National Museum. Anno is the God of Rain and it did rain so hard then. It was also raining on the last night of Christine, we held a poetry reading at the Cafe. My poems on Balweg, Roberto Villanueva, Santi and birdwatching in Sagada were read by Ferdie, Padma, Baboo and Karlo. Kanina, Nonette texted when I announced again the death of George: Are you our obituary crier?


A Colombian who was about to become a Spaniard wanted to change her name to Darling Velez. But the Spanish government rejected it because "Spanish law prohibits names which could expose a person to ridicule or do not clearly indicate gender." "My name is part of my personality. If they force me to change it, I'll change it to a Basque name and see what they say then," Darling said. Well, dahling, come to the Philippines and we will embrace you dearly. You see, one of our beloved idols was known first as Darling Postigo. That was her name when she appeared in a hotdog commercial in 1974 when she was six. It was the great Lamberto Avellana and the semi-great Boots Anson Roa who discovered her in a Christmas party in Quezon Institute. Don't ask me what she was doing there among the TB patients. Maybe her mother dentist worked there. But the star was born and Darling Postigo appeared in the movie "Ang Pag-ibig Ko'y Huwag Mong Sukatin" starring Boots and Dante Rivero. In her next movie, "Ang Mata ni Angelita," she won the Famas for Best Actress. But by then, her name was changed to "Julie Vega." Of course, we all know Julie as that Cinderella orphan in "Anna Liza," blowing soap bubbles Mondays through Fridays at 6 to 7 in the evening.
It was the battle for our tears between her and Janice de Belen aka Flordeluna.
But Julie Vega died when she was 16. The cause of her death still puzzles us Marcos babies, similar to the death of Bruce Lee. Was it because of fatigue? Because she concentrated on her singing career? Because she was the vestal virgin for the Marcos era?
I wrote a semi-ode to Julie Vega in 1993 when a young girl with the same name was gunned down by the military in Abra. It seemed like a curse to name your child after Julie Vega.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Literary Pronounciation

Choy had a student who pronounced "Nietzche" as "Nee-yets-skee." Karla asked me about Goethe and I gave the r-less alternative. She doesn't believe me. The millionsblog gave us the other literary pronounciation:

J.M. Coetzee - kut-'sE, -'si& (audio via M-W)
Paul Theroux - both PD and EoL have it as thuh-ROO
Henry David Thoreau - th&-'rO, tho-; 'thor-(")O, 'th&r-(")O (audio via M-W, via AH). The "Pronouncing Thoreau" sidebar on this NPR story goes into some further detail.
John Le Carre - l&-kä-'rA (audio via M-W, via AH)
Dan Chaon - I'm going to stick with my friend Edan's pronunciation - "Shawn" - since she had him as a teacher.

Pulitzer - 'PULL it sir' (see #19 in the Pulitzer FAQ, audio via M-W and via AH, which also offers the "PEW" pronunciation as an alternative.)
Donald Barthelme - There seems to be some disagreement on this one. AH has it with a "th" sound - see pronunciation and audio - while the EoL has it with a hard "t" sound. Not sure which is right.
Michael Chabon - "Pronounced, as he says, 'Shea as in Stadium, Bon as in Jovi,'" according to this profile, though other news sources pronounce the last syllable ranging from "bun" to "bawn" to "bin"
Thomas Pynchon - 'pin-ch&n (audio via M-W, via AH)
Rainer Maria Rilke - 'rI-n&r Maria 'ril-k&, -kE (audio via M-W, via AH. AH does not offer the "long e" at the end as an alternative pronunciation, nor does EoL.)
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Unfortunately not much of a definitive answer here. M-W prefers saying it with more of an "r" sound 'g&(r)-t& (audio), but offers 'g[oe]-t& as an alternative. AH prefers the latter, note the the subtly different audio. EoL has both of those but it calls the "r" sound "Anglicized." It also has a "long a" sound in the first syllable listed as Anglicized.
Ngugi wa Thiong'o - His first name is pronounced "Googy," according to UC Irvine, where he teaches, while his last name is presumably pronounced phonetically.
Eoin Colfer - The Seattle PI and Guardian both say the first name is pronounced "Owen." The last name is phonetic.Seamus Heaney - 'shA-m&s 'hE-nE (audio via M-W, via AH)
Jorge Luis Borges - 'bor-"hAs (audio via M-W, via AH)
Vladimir Nabokov - n&-'bo-k&f (audio via M-W, via AH. Both AH and EoL offer alternative pronunciations with a stress on the first syllable.)
P.G. Wodehouse - 'wud-"haus (audio via M-W, via AH)
Chuck Palahniuk - Lots of sources, including USA Today, say "Paula-nik."
Michel Houellebecq - LA Weekly and many other sources say "Wellbeck."
Jeffrey Eugenides - "yu-GIN-e-dees" according to the Houston Chronicle.
Jack Kerouac - 'ker-&-"wak (audio via M-W, via AH)
Colm Toibin - most sources, like the SF Chron have it as "toe-bean," but the Boston Globe says "Column to-BEAN."

Thursday, January 18, 2007

What Movie Has The Longest Title?

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Dead, Part 3 (2005)
This is 1962's "This Brain Wouldn't Die" with a new and much funnier audiotrack.


If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


I once rode from Seattle to Oregon listening mainly to Patsy Cline's Crazy. Recently Julio Iglesias came out with an album and to make it really "globalized", he had two takes for a particular country in mind. Because he is famous in the Philippines (my dead uncle, Tiong Ating, was one of the devoted fans), he decided to come out with two cuts translated into Filipino by the Great Mr. C, Ryan Cayabyab.
Here is his take on Crazy:

Ito'y matinding kalungkutan
I'm crazy
Puso'y wala nang sigla
I knew
Ako'y labis mong iibigin
Ngunit someday
Ako ay iiwan mo rin

Lagi akong maligalig
Anong kasalanan ko sa yo

Akala'y pag-ibig mo'y tunay
Baliw na umasa
Baliw na lumuha
At baliw ako, for loving you.

Happy Birthday, Ada

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Some sixty Filipino poets and writers from here and abroad, representing several generations, get together for a rare visual cum textual art exhibit billed as “Chromatext Reloaded” from January 25 to February 28 at the Cultural Center of the Philippines Bulwagang Juan Luna (main gallery.) The show turns a page from previous Chromatext I & II series mounted in the 1980s by the Philippine Literary Arts Council (PLAC) at the celebrated Pinaglabanan Galleries in San Juan, which assembled visual artworks by PLAC poet-members and special guest artists.

This time curated by Sid Gomez Hildawa, Jean-Marie Syjuco and Krip Yuson, Chromatext Reloaded celebrates the 25th anniversary of PLAC, with its surviving founders Jimmy Abad, Cirilo Bautista, Ricky de Ungria and Krip Yuson leading the poet-exhibitors.

Their works — from holographs to photographs, illustrations with poems to oil paintings, sculptural installations to video — will be joined by those of other distinguished writers, among them National Artist Edith L. Tiempo, Gilda Cordero Fernando, Raul Ingles, Tita Lacambra-Ayala, Sylvia Mendez-Ventura, the late Lilia Amansec, Ophelia Dimalanta, Merlie Alunan, Marjorie Evasco, Butch Dalisay, Pete Lacaba, Cesare A.X. Syjuco, Jun Cruz Reyes, Juaniyo Arcellana, RayVi Sunico, Danton Remoto, Frank Rivera, Margot Marfori, and Sid Gomez Hildawa.

From abroad, PLAC members and friends have sent in their contributions, such as from David Cortes Medalla in London and Eric Gamalinda, Nick Carbo, Luisa Igloria, Eileen Tabios, Zack Linmark, and Melissa Kristoffel-Nolledo in the U.S.A. From Baguio City, the participating poet-artists include Butch Macansantos, Babeth Lolarga and Frank Cimatu. Special guest artists who happen to be close friends to writers, if not writers themselves, include National Artist Benedicto Cabrera (Bencab), Danny Dalena, Pandy Aviado, Fil Dela Cruz, Manny Baldemor, Rock Drilon, Jean-Marie Syjuco, Judy Sibayan, Heber Bartolome, Raul Funilla, Beaulah Taguiwalo, Erlinda Panlilio, Bheng Dalisay, Lorena Javier, Boy Yuchengco, Erlinda Panlilio, Marivic Rufino, and Igan D'Bayan. Among the younger generation of poets and writers joining the exhibit are Jovi Miroy, Vim Nadera, Fran Ng, Lourd de Veyra, Jessica Zafra, Sarge Lacuesta, Joel Toledo, Ana Escalante Neri, Ginny Mata, Carlomar Daoana, Mookie Katigbak, and Angelo Suarez.

Performance art, musical works and readings will highlight the exhibit opening at 6pm on Thursday, January 25, to which the public is invited, as well as the closing ceremonies at 7pm on February 27. Copies of the revived poetry journal Caracoa and special commemorative editions of CD albums featuring the recorded readings of PLAC poets will also be on sale for the duration of the exhibit. Gallery hours are from 10am to 6pm daily, except Mondays and holidays. Admission is free. For particulars, call 8323702.

Faith Map

Periodic Table of Visualization

Monday, January 15, 2007

I Will Survive

The debate about the future of newspapers should not be ceded to the investment-driven corporations that have failed so miserably to maintain media that sustain both themselves and democracy.
Americans who recognize that newspapers remain, at least for the time being, essential generators of journalism, and that the serious-minded gathering and analysis of news is still necessary for an informed and engaged citizenry, must join reporters and editors in the struggle to assure that even if newspapers do not survive forever, journalism will.

Casual Sex is a Con

The misguided, hedonistic philosophy which urges young women into this kind of behaviour harms both men and women; but it is particularly damaging to women, as it pressures them to subvert their deepest emotional desires. The champions of the sexual revolution are cynical. They know in their tin hearts that casual sex doesn’t make women happy. That’s why they feel the need continually to promote it.


Avid Liongoren came out with one illustration daily from Jan. 1, 2006 to December 31. Very impressive dorwings for a busy artist.
It was a colossal task to make sure I made one decent drawing everyday where ever I was, whatever I was doing. This is semi abstract visual diary that was more concerned with how I felt that day than with the details of what actually happened. Enjoy this collection & I hope it inspires you to make one of your own :)

Useless Things I Learned While Watching the Seattle Seahawks Lose in Overtime

The first episode of "Joanie Loves Chachi" was the highest rated American program in the history of Korean television, a country where "Chachi" translates to "penis". To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles. Thirty-five percent of people who use personal ads for dating are already married. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. Pearls melt in vinegar. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs. Simplistic passwords contribute to over 80% of all computer password break-ins. Shakespeare is quoted 33,150 times in the Oxford English dictionary. He invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'. Babies are most likely to be born on Tuesdays. A spider has transparent blood. The eyes of a donkey are positioned so that it can see all four feet at all times. There were always 56 curls in Shirley Temple's hair. If a rooster can't fully extend its neck, it can't crow and giraffes have no vocal cords. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe. If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. Starfish haven't got brains. The scene where Indiana Jones shoots the swordsman in Raider’s of the Lost Ark was Harrison Ford's idea so that he could take a bathroom break. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life." On the ground, a group of geese is a gaggle, in the sky it is a skein. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20, a national pot-smokers hour. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. Virginia Woolf wrote all her books standing. Mozart wrote the nursery rhyme 'twinkle, twinkle, little star' at the age of 5 and so had no kneecaps by then because babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age. If one spells out numbers, they would have to count to One Thousand before coming across the letter "A". In space, astronauts are unable to cry, because there is no gravity and the tears won't flow and you wouldn't cry chopping onions if you chew gum while doing it.

There's a systematic lull in conversation every 7 minutes. More bullets were fired in 'Starship Troopers' than any other movie ever made. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.) Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten. In medieval France, unfaithful wives were made to chase a chicken through town naked. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. The human eyes never grow, but nose and ears never stop growing. For some time Frederic Chopin, the composer and pianist, wore a beard on only one side of his face, explaining: "It does not matter, my audience sees only my right side." The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. A whale's penis is called a dork.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Friday, January 12, 2007


Hallmark said that today is National Breakup Day.

Death News

This happened in Ilocos Sur. An embalmer was shot dead by unidentified men in Barangay Quezon in Cabugao, Ilocos Sur. Agustin Cariaga aka Waldo was in a tricycle when he was shot several times last Sunday. He was the village embalmer and the driver of the Aglipayan priest there. Yes, the question is: who embalms him?

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Nice start of the year for stamp collectors. England released their set of stamps with all covers of The Beatles. Ella was featured in the new US stamp. And then Hongkong will now serve us a sweet'n'sour pork-flavored stamp. Hmmmmm.

From Aardvark to Zatopecs! Rantings of Captain Haddock of Tintin

Aardvark! Abecedarians! Aborigine! Addle-pated lumps of anthracite! (old) Alcoholic ! Anachronisms! Anacoluthons! Antediluvian bulldozer [Tibet p60 B2]! Anthracite! Anthropithecus! Anthropophagus! Arabian Nightmare! Artichokes! Autocrats! Aztecs! [15]
Baboons! Baby-snatchers! Bagpipers! Bald-headed budgerigar! Bandits! Bashi-bazouks! Bath-tub Admiral! Beast! Belemnite! Big-head [Tibet p35 B3]! Billions of billious barbecued blue blistering barnacles! Billions of Bilious Blue Blistering Barnacles! Billions of Blue Blistering Barnacles! Black beetles! Black Marketers! Blackamoor! Blackbird! Blackguards! Blistering Barnacles! Blistereing blundering birdbrain! Bloodsuckers! Blue blistering barnacles! Blue Blistering Bell-Bottomed Balderdash! Blunderbuss! Bodysnatcher! Bootlegger! Borgia! Bougainvillea! Brat! Breathalyser! Brigands! Brutes! Bucaneers! Bully! Butcher! [34]
Cachinnating cockatoo! Cannibals! Carpetsellers! Caterpillars! Centipede! Cercopithecus! Coelcanth! Colocynths! Corsair! Cowards! Crabapples! Cro-Magnon! Crooks! Cushion footed quadrupeds! Cyclotron! [15]
Diplodocus! Dogs! Doryphore! Doryphores! Duck-billed platypus! Dunderheaded coconuts! Dynamiter! [7]
Ectoplasms! Egoists! [2]

Fancy-dress Facist! Fancy-dress Fatima! Fatfaces! Filibuster(s) ! Fourlegged Cyrano! Freshwater swabs! Fuzzy wuzzy! [7]
Gallows-fodder! Gang of Thieves! Gangsters! Gibbering anthropoids! Great flat-footed grizzly bear! Gobbledgook! Gogglers! Goosecaps! Guano-gatherer! Gyroscope! [10]
Harlequin! Heretic! Highwayman! Hydrocarbon! [4]
Iconoclasts! Idiots! [2]
Jellied eel! Jellyfish! [2]
Kleptomaniacs! [1]
Lily-livered landlubbers! Loathsome brute! Logarithim! Lubberscum! [4]
Macrocephalic baboon! Megacycle [Tibet p60 B3]! Mameluke! Miserable blundering barbecued blister! Miserable earth worms! Miserable miser! Miserable molecule of mildew! Misguided missles! Mister Mule! Monopolizers! Monster! Morons! Moujiks! Mountebanks! Musical morons! [15]
Nanny Goat! Nitwits! Nitwitted ninepins! Nyctalops! [4]
Odd-toed ungulate! Ophicleides! Orangoutang! Ostrogoth! [4]
Pachyrhizus! Parasites! Patagonians! Pestilential Pachyderm! Phylloxera! Pickled herrings! Pirates! Pithecanthropic montebanks! Pithecanthropic pickpocket [Tibet p37 A3]! Pithecanthropuses! Pockmarks! Politican! Poltroons! Polygraphs! Polynesian! Profiteers! Psychopath! Purple profiteering jellyfish! Pyrographers! Pyromaniac! [20]
Raggle taggle ruminants! Rapscallion! Rats! Rhizopods! RKRPXZKRMTFRZ! Roadhogs! [6]
Saucy tramp! Savages! Scorpion! Sea-gherkin(s)! Sea-lice! Shipwreckers! Slavertrader! Slubberdegullions! Sparrows! Spitfire! Steamroller! Stoolpigeon! Subtropical sea-louse! Swine! [14]
Note: Squawking popinjay - in The Secret of the Unicorn, on page 24, Captain Francis Haddock says it to Red Rackham--but since Captain Archibald Haddock is narrating this to Tintin, some one may say that it is one of his many curse words. Also, a parrot says it in Red Rackham's Treasure on page 29. [NAB]
Technocrat! Ten thousand thundering typhoons! Terrapins! Terrorists! Thundering typhoons! Tin hatted tyrants! Toads! Toffee-noses! Traitors! Tramps! Troglodytes! Turncoats! Twister! Two-timing Troglodytes! [14]
Ungulate (see O for odd-toed ungulate)
Vandal! Vegetarian! Vermicellis! Viper! Visigoths! Vulture! [6]
Weevils! Whippersnapper! Wildcat! Woodlice! [4]
Zapotecs! [1]

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

What She Got for Christmas

Death to Stories

We love stories, and we will continue to love them. But for more than 30 years, as Theory has established itself as “the new hegemony in literary studies” (to echo the title of Tony Hilfer’s cogent critique), university literature departments in the English-speaking world have often done their best to stifle this thoroughly human emotion.
Agree? Read on


Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Burial Beat

I ended the year covering the Bersamin murder in Abra. During our last day there, I told Andy, Why do all my coverage in Abra always end in the cemetery? He said, that's all we need to cover here. Which is unfair to Abra and its wonderful people except for some hideous ones. Now I jsut covered the simultaneous burial of the 12 teenagers in Beckel.

Here's my story:

LA TRINIDAD, Benguet -- Seventy-eight year old Juanito Maranes, a mambunong or indigenous spiritual leader, invoked the gods to watch over the parents and siblings of Arnel Marino, 18, and his sister Jessica , 17, who wewre among the twelve "kabarkadas" who died when their jeep smashed into a trailer truck in Bauang, La Union during the dawn of January 3.
The 12 were simultaneously buried moments before noon yesterday in sitio Obulan here in Beckel barangay, except for Alex William, Jr, who drove the ill-fated jeepney. William was buried later in the afternoon.
Maranes was unusually stoic considering that he is the great-grandfather of ten of the 12 victims. The other great-grandchildren are Jay Boy Dudun, Reggie and Hazel Antonio, Arlene and Manilyn Sapitula, Rick Tomas, Lea Bastian and William. Neighbors Roby Jean Javier and Reynaldo Anuran were also buried near their houses in Obulan.
"I prayed that whatever good luck they have left be given to their parents and siblings," said Maranes.
The dead were all buried in the traditional Ibaloi burial rites, Maranes said.
"If the dead is young, he should be buried at about 10:00 am till noon," he said.
The old people are buried at about 2 p.m. The Marinos are also buried in solid pine wood. Upon burial, the nails were pulled out with a crowbar because it is unfortunate to leave them in the coffins. Maranes even had the coffins reopened after entered into the tombs because the death blankets on their chests were not properly set down.
Pigs were butchered for the dead while two chickens were sacrificed later for the living, said Maranes. Plates of rice and pork with cups of broth were offered separately for those who died peacefully and those who died violently.
Days later, a canao would be held for the parents with the butcher of two more pigs and five to six months later, a tayaw would be again be held.
The burials here in Obulan seemed to have been taken from Atom Egoyan's movie, "The Sweet Hereafter" about a town similarly devastated with the death of 20 youths in a bus crash. But unlike that movie were the people are angry over their deaths, the relatives here are more frustrated and helpless.
The teenagers came from a beach outing in Bauang, using the money they earned from caroling here in Beckel.
"Maybe dome of them were a bit drunk but let's not take that against all of them," said a former high-school friend of Jessica.
Jessica was transferred by his parents from a high school here to a school in Nueva Vizcaya because of barkada problems, she said. But because it was the Christmas break, she came back and unfortunately she died.
Two of their 13 friends who survived attended the burials.
Benguet Gov. Borromeo Melchor said that the famileis were automatically given a sack of rice and they are now preparing to give them financial assistance worth P180,000. The local government is also paying for the hospitalization of the survivors. They have also set up a fundraising campaign for the victims, Melchor said.
Melchor said that he will also consult with the other mambunongs if it is necessary to have a ritual to stop the spate of vehicular accidents that occurred at the start of the year. 12 hours after the Bauang accident, a jeepney along the Marcos Highway in Baguio turned turtle. Fortunately, the 14 people on board were not seriously injured.
On New Year's Eve, Cone Cosme was killed and four others injured when their vehicle fell into a 100-meter ravine along Halsema Highway. Two days later, a pickup carrying vegetables also turned turtle near the Lion's Head along Kennon Road injuring the three people on board.

Monday, January 08, 2007


What's the Most Murderous Movie?
Lord of the Ring: Return of the King with 836 deaths. Second is LotR: Two Towers with 468. Hard Boiled is 3rd with 307 and Equilibrium with 236 and Bullet in the Head with 214. Rounding the Top Ten are Saving Pvt. Ryan with 208, A Better Tomorrow II (199), Dune (186), Braveheart (184) and McBain (181). Fellowship of the Ring is 20th with 118.


Lost in Translation Dieux

Ten more not so subtle subtitiles from your Chinese movies

Nicked named Little Bun, also knowed Bitchy Bun. From Its Now or Never
Buns! You think I'm meaning puppy. From Madam City Hunter
Oh, are they chewing gums or my hearing's wrong? from Madam City Hunter
You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken. From Pedicab Driver
Explode at 11 o'clock sharp. From Bury Me High
Pierce his face loci. From Legend of Liquid Sword
Her ass got the symbol of the God of Death. From Passionate Killing in the Dream
The reproductive organ was bursted by bullet. From Naked Killer
I'm not Jesus Christ. I'm Bunny. From Double Trunk
She's terrific. I can stand her. From Rouge

Classic Album Art

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