My Sad Republic May 6: Sue

Lawyer Elly Pamatong filed a case against the Supreme Court for changing his middle name from "Velez" to "Chavez." Small thing you say but Pamatong:
1) filed a case against the Pope and Manila Archbishop Gaudencio "No Gays in Santacruisin'" Rosales for rumormongering
2) wanted to make Philippines the 51st state of the US
3) punctured 170 cars in Manila after he was disqualified as a presidential candidate
Also, a Romanian filed a case against a beer company because he got drunk after drinking only one can of their beer
An English guy fined 225 pounds for not closing his basura properly
Warboys Community Primary School is forced to ban its logo of a witch on a stick because it drives away parents and students

Chekhov's Menu for Journalists

I have Choice Cuts: A Miscellany of Food Writing by Mark Kurlansky and there is a short menu for journalists proposed by Anton Chekhov. M.K. said that Chekhov must have been very young when he scribbled this:

MENU FOR JOURNALISTS
An eight-course meal

1. A glass of vodka
2. Cabbage soup and yesterday’s kasha
3. Two glasses of vodka
4. Suckling pig with horseradish
5. Three glasses of vodka
6. Horseradish, cayenne pepper and soy sauce
7. Four glasses of vodka
8. Seven bottles of beer

A drunk Russian

How to Prepare the Drink of Writers

Absinthe, the drink of writers a hundred years ago, is back on sale in the US. But drinking it is not as easy as having ice and glass. First, you need a special spoon. There are several ways like the Classic French, the Czech, the Neat and Glass in a Glass. It's not that easy.

Cerveza Negra is Good for Your Heart

Well, it's the closest you can get to Guinness. I've been seen as a freak for insisting on drinking this dark lager and now the British finally sided with me.

A pint of the black stuff a day may work as well as an aspirin to prevent heart clots that raise the risk of heart attacks

Clio and the Perils of Drinking. You Drink Too Much, You Become Bush

What's The Point of Bringing Out the Glasses?

The point, by Natalie Angier.

Retro Glasses

These are smoke glasses, hand-blown and -crafted to give you the elan to hold your drink and cigarettes on one hand. Cool, this was made by Joe Colombo in 1963. A pair brings you to more than $250. On the other hand, cheapo, you can use this other retro glass known as diamond cut glasses.

Drink of choice for 19th century painters, poets and writers

And now it is legal again to drink absinthe, the green wormwood-based liquid that inspired Vincent Van Gogh to slice off his ear, Picasso and Degas to paint and Hemingway to quaff before running with the bulls.
"After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, which is the most horrible thing in the world," Oscar Wilde said of absinthe.
Well this 120 proof drink is back in the US stores again after being banned since 1912. St. George Spirits of Alameda in CA finally sold its first bottle and on December 21, it will sell 3,600 bottles of Absinthe Verte at $75 per bottle.
Will it make you a Picasso or a Van Gogh, who knows? But you will become Wilde.

Shot

I -click mo adi jay picture dikwan agshot ta nga kasla James Bond. Haan mo ikiwkiwar jay martinim, ishake-shake mo lang

Alcohol

Hey, we're finally topping something. Or to be more precise, we are tippling our neighbors. A survey by Synovate showed that the rich Pinoys are outdrinking their counterparts from ten other countries. The survey showed that 37 percent of the rich Pinoys are social drinkers. Thirty-four percent of the Thais, on the other hand (because the other hand is holding a glass) are social drinkers compared to Singapore (32 percent) and Malaysia (28 percent). The Indons are virtual teetotallers with only eight percent of the rich imbibing. Hmmm. Thirty percent of the rich Pinoys prefer San Miguel Beer or as Synovate would say it, locally-produced beer. I also read somewhere that Emperador is the biggest-selling brandy in the world and Ginebra San Miguel is the biggest selling gin in the world.

White Castle Whiskey

By popular demand, the 1978 version:

Wine

From Korea, we give you mouse wine

Reasons to Drink this October

Well, I have three compelling reasons. The Mariners are out of the playoffs and the racist George Steinbrenner is still alive. And so is Abalos. Still alive and playing golf. And I can't believe it (like Crispin Beltran) but I am actually rooting Joe De Venecia only on this one thing. The fourth, of course, is that we must have lost billions from the mess and the Number One question in most Pinoys' minds is: What is broadband?
OK, the daily reasons then:
October 1. The Tonight Show debuted in 1962 with world-class drunkard Ed McMahon as assistant to Johnny Carson.
October 2. Groucho Marx's birthday in 1890. "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
October 3: St. Dionysus' Day. This is the drunk monk not the wine god.
4: VODKA DAY!!!! When the Russian government came out with their anti-vodka campaign, the Russians said: Vodka is our enemy, so we must utterly consume it! How true!
5: Monty Python debuted in 1969. What did they say about American beer then? it's a lot like making love on a canoe because it's fucking close to water. Drink San Mig Light. Beer flavored bottled water na kinakalawang ang tansan.
6: National German-American Day. Muller sisters!!!!
7. Bud brewery in Czech Republic opened in 1895. Well, we have to celebrate something. Hey, Allen Ginsberg read "Howl" for the first time in 1955. That is the reason!
8: Anniversary of the Great Chicago Fire in 1871. Don Larsen of the Yankees also pitched the first and only perfect game in the World Series.
9: St. Denis's Day. Patron saint of frenzies (not the condom) and hangovers. Also the patron saint of Rumours.
10. 10-10. Jueteng pyongpyang. Also important date in China. Drink syoktong.
11. Vinalia. The drunken orgy in Rome.
12. Columbus Day. Also in 1681, a London woman was publicly flogged for the crime of "involving herself in politics."
13. Birthday of Sammy Hagar of van Halen. "Once I tasted a really good tequila I became a new man."
14. In Japan, it is Mega Kenka Matsui. Ask the Yankee star what it means.
15. UB40's Red Red Wine was Number One in the US in 1988.
16. Oscar Wilde's bday. "Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
17. First Oktoberfest in 1810
18. Person's Day in Canada. Ha!
19. Reptile Awareness Day. Hello, XXXX! For those fortunate ones who read what I wrote before i erased it, hahaha
20. National Brandied Fruit Day
21. In 1976, Keith Moon played his last gig as drummer of The Who. He died two years later a drunken drug fiend.
22. National Nut Day. Hello, uli
23. Hungarian Independence Day.
The Mad Hungarian
4 oz shots rum
12 oz root beer
pour rum over ice in a beer mug and top with root beer
24. United Nations Day. Unite all the liquors into one body - yours.
25. Anniversary of the Charge of the Light Brigade. San Mig Light. FCTW!!!
26. The Beatles were knighted. Hillary Clinton was born. Also Mitterand and the Shah of Iran. What does that mean? See you in November.
27. Dylan Thomas, the lyric poet born in 1914. "An alcoholic is someone you don;t like who drinks as much as you do." So true.
28. St. Jude day. patron of hopeless cases. That's you also.
29. Hermit Day.
30. Feast of the Dead Children. Toltec.
31. Halloween.

Beer

“There are human epidemiological data of others indicating that mild [to] moderate drinking may paradoxically improve cognition in people compared to abstention,” says Maggie Kalev, a research fellow in molecular medicine and pathology at the University of Auckland in New Zealand and a co-author of an article in The Journal of Neuroscience describing results of a study she and other researchers performed on rats. “This is similar to a glass of wine protecting against heart disease, however the mechanism is different.”

If you said, Ha? That means you have not drank beer in a while. Because what it said was that a group of smart Kiwis found out that a glass of beer or two makes you more intelligent while if you decide to just watch TV, you are still stupid. Or something.

San Miguel

Why is San Miguel Beer so creative in their promos abroad but so lame in their home country?

Reasons to Drink this September

1. Labor Day in the U.S. “A person can work up a mean, mean thirst after a hard day of nothin’ much.” The Replacements
2. World War II ends (1945) Drunks save the free world from tyrannical teetotaler

Victory Collins

1 ½ oz vodka
3 oz lemon juice
3 oz grace juice, unsweetened
1 tsp powdered sugar
1 slice orange

Shake with ice, strain into a Collins glass over ice cubes. Garnish with orange slice

3. Lost Day. Good day to start a bender
4. Looking for the Boundaries Day (Cuchumatan Indians, Guatemala Highlands) Test the boundaries of last call. Mescal.
5. On The Road published (1955) Barhop like Cassady and Kerouac. Cheap beer
6. Read a Book Day.
7. Keith Moon overdosed on drugs prescribed to combat his alcohol problem (1978) Well, it cured his drinking
8. Star Trek debuts (1966)
9. Horned Dance Festival (Pagan)
10. Buy A Regular Drink Day
11. National Tricky Handshake Day
12. H.L.Mencken’s birthday (1880). This great journalist estimated that about 18 billion cocktails could be conceivably mixed from the ingredients of a well-stocked bar
13. National Peanut Day. And you know what goes with peanuts.
14. Slaughter of the Pig at Santa Maria delle Grazie (Italy)
15. Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. Don’t pay your bill.
16. Day of The Great Mother (pagan)
17. M.A.S.H. debuts (1972) “Swill gin? Sir, I have sipped, lapped and taken gin intravenously but I have never swilled.” Hawkeye.
18. Captain Nelson discovered Jeannie in a bottle (1965)

19.International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Tis a perfect day for plunderin’ ye local tavern. But the modern version is, Devidi, sir. Bili na kayo. May X kami.

20. Alexander the Great’s birthday (256 B.C.) Conquered the world while on a bender.

21. Swiss National Yodeling Day. Fred Panopio, we miss you.

22.National Wine Week begins.

23. John Paul Jones victorious (1779) I have not yet begin to drink.
24. F. Scott Fitzgerald birthday (1896) “Sometimes I wish I’d went through those good times stone cold sober so I could remember everything – but then again, if I’d been sober the times probably wouldn’t have been worth remembering.”
25. William Faulkner’s birthday (1897) “there’s no such thing as bad whiskey. Some just happen to be better than others.”
26. Gilligan Island debuts (1964).
27. Samuel Adams’s birthday.
28. Drink as Much Beer as Possible Day. Originated in Milwaukee.
29. Festival of Texcatzonctl (Aztec) All hail the Aztec god of Intoxication!
30. Cheers debuts (1982) “Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they are demanding beer.” – Norm.

Reasons to Get Drunk this August

People think I'm a drunkard. No denying that but if the daily limit is three beers a day, i believe I can make it through the week within the limit. Ha ha ha. Anyway here goes:

August 1. Modern Drunkard Magazine, where we are filching this, was established in 1996. Cheers!
August 2. Peter O Toole’s Birthday (1932) "I was so drunk I thought I was Peter O Toole," said Richard Burton. I watched POT in "Venus" and I am enthralled, as usual.
August 3. Feast of Caligo (Roman) All hail to the Mother of Chaos!! And her son.
August 4. St Sithney’s Day. Patron saint of mad dogs. Ha ha ha to Grace and Del.
August 5. Andy Capp debuted in Britain’s Daily Mirror in 1957
August 6. Robert Mitchums Birthday (1917). "The only difference between me and my fellow actors is that I've spent some time in jail." You watched "Cape Fear"? He was the original Robert de Niro character there.

Extended Jail Sentence
1 oz Jack Daniels
I oz southern comfort
1 oz gold tequila
Flash blend with ice and serve

August 7. Customer Appreciation Day. My father's birthday. Thanks, Dad.
August 8. Anniversary of the Great Train Robbery (1963) When alcoholics converge and plan well, they can be successful. Here, they carted off with $7 million
August 9. National Polka Day. Beer beer beer.
August 10. St Lawrence of Rome. Patron saint of cooks and protector of vineyards.
August 11 Puck Fair. Puck is often blamed in Ireland for finishing pub goers' drinks.
August 12. Internatioal Youth Day
August 13. Don Ho’s Birthday in 1930. Died this year. Patron saint of fat drunks in Hawaiian shirts
August 14. Trifon Zaresan Festival. Bulgarian wine drinking festival.
August 15. Liechtenstein National Day. The residents of this small state (very hard to spell Liechsteinians?) drink more per capita than anyone in the planet except the residents of New Lucban.

Mighty Mouse
1 oz vodka
¾ triple sec
¾ oz genadaine
Mix and shoot

August 16. Poet Charles Bukowski’s birthday in 1920
August 17. Feast of the Hungry Ghost in China. Chinese ghosts are afraid of whiskey.
August 18. Bad Poetry Day
August 19. Witches Day in 1609


Frisky witch

1 ½ oz black sambuca
1 ½ oz vodka
Mix and shoot


August 20. National Homeless Animals Day. Don't say "Pulutan."
August 21. National Forgiveness Day

August 22. Dorothy Parkers Day
"I like to have a martini
two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four, I'm under my host"

August 23. Anniversary of Braveheart’s death. Freedom, freedom.
August 24. Fesival of Vulcan and the nymphs
August 25. Sean Connery Bday in 1930
August 26. Womens Equality Day
August 27. Feast of the Incandescent Rebellion in China
August 28. St Augustines of Hippo’s day. Patron of breweries wrote that God don’t mind the occasional blender
August 29. Pardon the Sea Day in Britain. Tsunami.
August 30. Aga-ou Festival which is the main voodoo festival in Haiti
August 31. Snake Dance Fesival of the Hopi

Butch Perez sent me the Basic Food Groups of Zombies for August 30.

Last Call for Alcohol

Finally science that is really working for us. The University of Kentucky (home of Jack Daniels)decided to study why drunks are so belligerent. According to the July issue of the journal Psychological Science, the study showed that alcohol can both increase and decrease aggression.
"In the study, both drunk and sober men, age 21 to 33 years old, competed in a computer game in which they had to complete a command (like "press the space bar") quicker than an opponent. Winners could zap their opponents with shocks of varying intensity," LiveScience reported. "Some of the drinkers also were given a taxing memory task during the game. The distracted drinkers showed less aggression toward their opponents, zapping them with weaker shocks, than the "empty-headed" drinkers as well as the sober non-drinkers."
The point of the lesson is that the drunks were more aggressive but if you distract them, they can become pacifists.
"The scientists suggest sober men had enough cognitive space to deal with both the provocative zaps and memory distractions, resulting in a low level of belligerence. Activating working memory reduces the "cognitive space" available for aggressive thoughts and resulting actions. Since drinkers have a diminished mental capacity, the memory task "used up" space that otherwise could have been allocated to a brawl."
So distract the drunk. And the rule I finally made up from the study is the 3D. Dumb Drunks Dangerous.

Reasons to Drink this July

From Frank Kelly Rich’s The Modern Drunkard, we give you reasons to drink on this month. Because this came late, we give you the belated reasons from July 1 to 10. July 1 is the Feast of the Most Precious Blood (drink Rusty Nail). July 2 is National Literacy Day (drink and write your novel on the napkin). July 3 is International Civil Disobedience Day. July 4 is the US Independence Day. Peace and Unity Day in Rwanda for July 5. The Running of the Bulls Festival begins in July 6. July 7 starts the Great Gatsby Festival. Drink Cosmopolitan. Happy Birthday to Julius Caesar on July 8. Bloody Caesar is 2 oz vodka, 1 dash Worcestershire sauce, 1 dash Tabasco, 1 oz Clamato salt and pepper. National POW Day for July 9. July 10 is National Pina Colada Day. Also raise a drink to Johnny Muller who died a year ago. He lived the life.
Now for the rest of the month:
July 11. My mother’s birthday and also the Buffalo Bill Day. Drink Buffalo Trace whiskey.
July 12. Milton Berle’s Birthday. “If it wasn’t for the olives in his martinis, he’d starve to death.”
July 13. Friday. Fool’s Paradise Day.
July 14. Bastille Day. Cognac, ma pere
July 15. Respect Canada Day.
July 16. Anniversary of the Whiskey Rebellion. 1794. American farmers rose up against the federal government for proposing new taxes on liquor.
July 17. St. Alexis Day. Patron saint of panhandlers. For Manny Fortuny.
July 18. Hunter S. Thompson’s Bday. “I’d hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”
July 19. St. Arnold’s Day. I didn’t know Arnold Azurin is a saint. But the original saint is the patron of beer. He spent his life advocating that water was dangerous and beer was delicious.
July 20 Cockney Day.
July 21. Birthday of Papa. Ernest Hemingway. Papa Doble is 2 ½ oz White Bacardi Rum, juice of ½ grapefruit and 6 drops of grenadine. Mix with half scoop of ice in a blender and garnish with cherry.
July 22. John Dillinger gunned down outside a movie theater in 1934. Should have gone inside a pub, Rich said.

Gangbuster Punch
1 ½ oz vodka
1 ½ oz peach schnapps
1 oz cranberry juice
Splash 7 Up
Shake well and strain

23. Raymond Chandler’s Bday.
24. National Tequila Day
25. St. Cristopher’s Day. Patron saint of bikers and bachelors.
26. Revolution Day in Cuba. Libertad o Muerte. Cuba Libre.
27. National Scotch Day
28. Hurricane Supplication Day in Virgin islands
29. Rasputin’s Bday in 1871.
30. All-American Soap Box Derby Day.
31. Jimmy Hoffa disappears.

Alcohol Slows Dementia

Non-drinkers would get demented about this but Time Magazine reports that alcohol slows down dementia:

Anyone who reads a daily paper could be forgiven for wondering how carbs, alcohol, fats — a whole host of things, really — can be reported as healthy one day and unhealthy the next. Of the conflicted bunch, however, alcohol just might be most enduringly confusing: scientific studies proclaim that it protects against heart attack and stroke, while others suggest it promotes violent tendencies or destroys the liver. Why the mixed messages? A new study demonstrates what can go wrong. The latest in a long line of research on alcohol's benefits — sure to cause a stir — is a paper by geriatrics researchers at the University of Bari in Italy appearing in the May 22 issue of Neurology, revealing that the progression of dementia may be slower in people who drink moderately than in teetotalers. A survey of elderly Italians — 1,445 of whom had no cognitive impairment and 121 who suffered mild cognitive impairment (MCI) — found that, over 3.5 years, those with MCI who drank less than one drink a day progressed to dementia at a rate 85% slower than those who drank nothing. Drinking more did not seem to be better than drinking nothing. Expect big headlines to follow: "Booze boosts the brain"; "A drink a day keeps dementia away."

And then NFL players also have this problem about dementia. Read