Book Art

Because thoughts on Death can only go so far....

And Singapore Made it to the Most Haunted Places

I totally agree. I think the natives are all zombies and that the Pinoys were placed there to give them life.

Anyway, here's number 10 or the 13 REAL Haunted Places That Will Make You Cry for Mommy

Make Your Own Coffin but Use it as a Bookshelf First

How practical!

Worst Case Scenarios

Popular Science Magazine reprinted some of the Worst Case Scenarios, so for my 1st anniversary we will teach each other these following life-or-death skills:

How to Survive an Pro-Erap Rally
How to Survive a Plane Crash
How to Survive Mayon or Taal or Bulusan and other Anti-social Volcanoes
How to Stop Royette Padilla and his 3H Army
How to Attack Mendiola

How to Survive your Congressman

1. Always stay in groups—sharks are more likely to attack a solitary individual. Do not wander too far from shore. This isolates you and creates the additional danger of being too far from assistance.

2. Avoid being in the water during darkness or twilight hours, when sharks are most active and have a competitive sensory advantage.

3. Do not enter the water if you are bleeding from an open wound or if you are menstruating—a shark is drawn to blood and its olfactory ability is acute.

4. Try not to wear shiny jewelry because the reflected light resembles the sheen of fish scales.

5. Avoid waters with known effluents or sewage and those being used by sport or commercial fishermen, especially if there are signs of bait fish or feeding activity. Diving seabirds are good indicators of such action.

6. Use extra caution when waters are murky and avoid showing any uneven tanning and brightly-colored clothing—sharks see contrast particularly well.

7. If a shark shows itself to you, it may be curious rather than predatory and will probably swim on and leave you alone. If you are under the surface and lucky enough to see an attacking shark, then you do have a good chance of defending yourself if the shark is not too large.

8. Scuba divers should avoid lying on the surface, where they may look like a piece of prey to a shark, and from where they cannot see a shark approaching.

9. A shark attack is a potential danger for anyone who frequents marine waters, but it should be kept in perspective. Bees, wasps, and snakes are responsible for far more fatalities each year, and in the United States the annual risk of death from lightning is 30 times greater than from shark attack.

Another way:

If you are on land, try to get on the alligator’s back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down.

2. Cover the alligator’s eyes. This will usually make it more sedate.

3. If you are attacked, go for the eyes and nose. Use any weapon you have, or your fist.

4. If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (for example, a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouths when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of, and back off.

5. If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or rolling over—these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking.

6. Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths.

If your congressman attacks you first:

1. Do not swim or wade in areas alligators are known to inhabit (in Congressional Road, this can be anywhere).

2. Do not swim or wade alone, and always check out the area before venturing in.

3. Never feed alligators.

4. Do not dangle arms and legs from boats, and avoid throwing unused bait or fish from a boat or dock.

5. Do not harass, try to touch, or capture any alligator.

6. Leave babies and eggs alone. Any adult alligator will respond to a distress call from any youngster. Mother alligators guarding nests and babies will defend them.

7. In most cases the attacking alligators had been fed by humans prior to the attack. This is an important link—feeding alligators seems to cause them to lose their fear and make them more aggressive.

Doobie Vodka

Trendy, original, wild, popular and quickly spreading worldwide, this Czech specialty is conquering the nightlife throughout city bars, clubs and discos all around the planet. Containing 40% of cereal alcohol, spring water, sugar and singularly bottled with a handful of Cannabis Sativa L. seeds (better known as Beniko species), this peculiar liquor is undoubtedly becoming the most in vogue drink. Cannabis Vodka can be legally bought in all countries with the exception of Australia.

My 1st Year as a Blogger

And I got This Letter:

January 22, 1939

Assistant Professor Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr.
Department of Anthropology
Chapman Hall 227B
Marshall College

Dr. Jones:

As chairman of the Committee on Promotion and Tenure, I regret to inform you that your recent application for tenure has been denied by a vote of 6 to 1. Following past policies and procedures, proceedings from the committee's deliberations that were pertinent to our decision have been summarized below according to the assessment criteria.

Demonstrates suitable experience and expertise in chosen field:

The committee concurred that Dr. Jones does seem to possess a nearly superhuman breadth of linguistic knowledge and an uncanny familiarity with the history and material culture of the occult. However, his understanding and practice of archaeology gave the committee the greatest cause for alarm. Criticisms of Dr. Jones ranged from "possessing a perceptible methodological deficiency" to "practicing archaeology with a complete lack of, disregard for, and colossal ignorance of current methodology, theory, and ethics" to "unabashed grave-robbing." Given such appraisals, perhaps it isn't surprising to learn that several Central and South American countries recently assembled to enact legislation aimed at permanently prohibiting his entry.

Moreover, no one on the committee can identify who or what instilled Dr. Jones with the belief that an archaeologist's tool kit should consist solely of a bullwhip and a revolver.

Nationally recognized for an effectual program of scholarship or research supported by publications of high quality:

Though Dr. Jones conducts "field research" far more often than anyone else in the department, he has consistently failed to report the results of his excavations, provide any credible evidence of attending the archaeological conferences he claims to attend, or produce a single published article in any peer-reviewed journal. Someone might tell Dr. Jones that in academia "publish or perish" is the rule. Shockingly, there is little evidence to date that Dr. Jones has successfully excavated even one object since he arrived at Marshall College. Marcus Brody, curator of our natural-history museum, assured me this was not so and graciously pointed out several pieces in the collection that he claimed were procured through Dr. Jones's efforts, but, quite frankly, we have not one shred of documentation that can demonstrate the provenance or legal ownership of these objects.

Meets professional standards of conduct in research and professional activities of the discipline:

The committee was particularly generous (and vociferous) in offering their opinions regarding this criterion. Permit me to list just a few of the more troubling accounts I was privy to during the committee's meeting. Far more times than I would care to mention, the name "Indiana Jones" (the adopted title Dr. Jones insists on being called) has appeared in governmental reports linking him to the Nazi Party, black-market antiquities dealers, underground cults, human sacrifice, Indian child slave labor, and the Chinese mafia. There are a plethora of international criminal charges against Dr. Jones, which include but are not limited to: bringing unregistered weapons into and out of the country; property damage; desecration of national and historical landmarks; impersonating officials; arson; grand theft (automobiles, motorcycles, aircraft, and watercraft in just a one week span last year); excavating without a permit; countless antiquities violations; public endangerment; voluntary and involuntary manslaughter; and, allegedly, murder.

Dr. Jones's interpersonal skills and relationships are no better. By Dr. Jones's own admission, he has repeatedly employed an underage Asian boy as a driver and "personal assistant" during his Far East travels. I will refrain from making any insinuations as to the nature of this relationship, but my intuition insists that it is not a healthy one, nor one to be encouraged. Though the committee may have overstepped the boundaries of its evaluation, I find it pertinent to note that Dr. Jones has been romantically linked to countless women of questionable character, an attribute very unbecoming of a Marshall College professor. One of these women was identified as a notorious nightclub singer whose heart he attempted to extract with his hands, and whom he then tried, and failed, to lower into a lake of magma. Another was a Nazi scholar he was seen courting just last year who, I'm told, plummeted into a fathomless abyss at Dr. Jones's hand. And, of course, no one can forget the slow decline and eventual death of Professor Abner Ravenwood after Dr. Jones's affair with Abner's underage daughter was made public, forcing her to emigrate to Nepal to escape the debacle.

Demonstrates successful record in undergraduate and graduate teaching:

In his nine years with the department, Dr. Jones has failed to complete even one uninterrupted semester of instruction. In fact, he hasn't been in attendance for more than four consecutive weeks since he was hired. Departmental records indicate Dr. Jones has taken more sabbaticals, sick time, personal days, conference allotments, and temporary leaves than all the other members of the department combined.

The lone student representative on the committee wished to convey that, besides being an exceptional instructor, a compassionate mentor, and an unparalleled gentleman, Dr. Jones was extraordinarily receptive to the female student body during and after the transition to a coeducational system at the college. However, his timeliness in grading and returning assignments was a concern.

Establishment of an appropriate record of departmental and campus service:

Dr. Jones's behavior on campus has led not only to disciplinary action but also to concerns as to the state of his mental health. In addition to multiple instances of public drunkenness, Dr. Jones, on three separate occasions, has attempted to set fire to the herpetology wing of the biology department. Perhaps most disturbing, however, are the statements that come directly from Dr. Jones's mouth. Several faculty members maintain that Dr. Jones informed them on multiple occasions of having discovered the Ark of the Covenant, magic diamond rocks, and the Holy Grail! When asked to provide evidence for such claims, he purportedly replied that he was "kind of immortal" and/or muttered derogatory statements about the "bureaucratic fools" running the U.S. government. Given his history with the Nazi Party, I fear where his loyalty lies.

- - - -

To summarize, the committee fails to recognize any indication that Dr. Jones is even remotely proficient when it comes to archaeological scholarship and practice. His aptitude as an instructor is questionable at best, his conduct while abroad is positively deplorable, and his behavior on campus is minimally better. Marshall College has a reputation to uphold. I need not say more.

My apologies,

Prof. G.L. Stevens
Chairman

Vampire for Ilocanos

Newsbooks

Whoever said long stories put off readers hasn't scanned the New York Times best-seller list lately. Even though newspapers and magazines have crammed their pages with Iraq reporting, readers seem insatiable on the topic. The current Times list features four heavily reported and lengthy books about the Iraq adventure: Hubris, by Michael Isikoff and David Corn; Fiasco, by Thomas Ricks; State of Denial, by Bob Woodward; and Imperial Life in the Emerald City, by Rajiv Chandrasekaran.

Comics as Liars

Why are comedians such good liars? How hard do they work on their jokes? And how important is... timing? Jimmy Carr and Lucy Greeves explain the rules

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.
Bob Monkhouse This Monkhouse gag is funny but, of course, it's much better heard than read. On paper, a joke is a pale and inadequate one-dimensional version of itself. In fact, a joke scarcely exists until someone has told it and someone else has laughed.

The article is long, the bullets are here:

Pick your moments. It's easiest to tell a joke when everyone's relaxed and enjoying themselves. Telling a joke to relieve tension is a high-risk strategy, but potentially hilarious. Besides, there'll be other funerals.

Know where you're going - the punchline - before you start.

Don't be tempted to over-elaborate. Eddie Izzard makes it look easy, but remember that one man's surreal flight of fancy is another man's rambling, incoherent humiliation.

Project a demeanour of relaxed confidence - it gives your listener permission to laugh. You can try deadpan, but social joke-telling usually requires the teller to laugh too.

Enjoy it. If your entire self-esteem is resting on whether people laugh at your joke, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. On the other hand, you are showing signs of the borderline personality disorder that characterises all the best comedians, so perhaps you should consider telling jokes for a living.

Have you heard the joke about a Pinay feminist who...?

All together now: That's not funny!!!

Sex Update

Men can develop major and permanent health problems soley from too much sex, but women can't. (Not talking about disease transmission or abuse here; specifically referring to "having too much sex.")

Regular sex promotes dental health. (For women, anyway.)

Men should masturbate almost daily to help them avoid cancer. ("Go digital," it says, and while I know they're referring to fingers, I can't help but think of all the ways in which sex-tech can add variety to this healthy habit.)

Prolonged abstinence in women can cause loss of vaginal function. (Hence one doctor's recommendation of using vibrators to preserve vaginal health.)

The more sex you have, the longer you are likely to live. ("The relationship found between frequency of sexual intercourse and mortality is of considerable public interest.")

Online Blog Demo on Nov 7

Worldwide, 61 people are currently in prison for posting “subversive” content on a blog or website. Reporters Without Borders is compiling a list of 13 countries whose governments are “Internet enemies” because they censor and block online content that criticises them. The Internet scares. Censors of every kind exploit its flaws and attack those who pin their hopes on it. Multinationals such as Yahoo! cooperate with the Chinese government in filtering the Internet and tracking down cyber-dissidents.

The defence of online free expression and the fate of bloggers in repressive countries concern everyone. So Reporters Without Borders is offering Internet users tools to campaign against Internet predators and is calling on them to participate in an INTERNATIONAL CYBER-DEMO.

Everyone is invited to support this struggle by connecting to the Reporters Without Borders website (www.rsf.org) between 11 a.m. (Paris time) on Tuesday, 7 November, and 11 a.m. on Wednesday, 8 November. Each click will help to change the “Internet Black Holes” map and help to combat censorship. As many people as possible must participate so that this operation can be a success and have an impact on those governments that try to seal off what is meant to be a space where people can express
themselves freely.

Obesity and Global Warming

More angry responses awaiting me. Gina Kolata's article in New York Times

Last week the list of ills attributable to obesity grew: fat people cause global warming.

This latest contribution to the obesity debate comes in an article by Sheldon H. Jacobson of the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana and his doctoral student, Laura McLay. Their paper, published in the current issue of The Engineering Economist, calculates how much extra gasoline is used to transport Americans now that they have grown fatter. The answer, they said, is a billion gallons a year

.

Why Expats are Lousy Writers

Because they have to go for the exciting and exotic and spend more time boozing and having sex than actually writing, according to this Slate article.

If you're a self-styled bohemian writer, however—if you aspire to live the life of a Henry Miller or a Charles Bukowski—you are by definition obligated to seek a seedy variation of authenticity. You can't settle for video games and fan conventions. To truly embrace your fantasies, you must actively booze, brawl, and womanize until you've achieved something resembling oblivion. And if you don't have the money, courage, or social cachet to do this in your hometown, moving overseas to indulge your inner misanthrope is a sensible and time-honored solution. In nearly every expat setting I've visited as a traveler—from Prague to Phuket to Porto-Novo—there seems to be this notion that being a writer has more to do with drinking and screwing than actually writing.

Wikipedian

HOW TO BE A WIKIPEDIAN

Wikipedia wants to make it easy for visitors to edit its contents, but it has recently taken steps to make creating new entries somewhat more difficult. Here is how Wikipedia articles are edited and created:

How to edit a Wikipedia article:

Go to any article on the site.

Click on the "edit this page" tab, located near the top of the page.

Make alterations and save them. The changes will show up immediately, but Wikipedia's army of contributorswho check the site regularly for changesmay test the veracity of any newly added information. Every article on Wikipedia includes a "history" button, near the top of the page, that allows users to track every change made in the text.

How to create a Wikipedia article:

Register as a Wikipedia member, providing a user name and password.

New users are shown introductory Web pages that explain the site's posting guidelines.

Type in the title of your article and wait for the site to search for similar articles that may already exist.

Enter the text of your article. Links to other Wikipedia articles can be created simply by selecting sections of text and letting the site find URL's for the articles they represent.

Write a brief "edit summary" that tells other Wikipedia posters why you created the entry.

Preview the article, save it, and get ready for the masses to edit it. The new article should appear on the site quickly, but it could be removed almost as quickly under Wikipedia's "speedy deletion" policy, under which "Wikipedia administrators may delete Wikipedia pages or media 'on sight' without further debate, as in the cases of patent nonsense or pure vandalism."

Immortal

Adolf Anderssen and Lionel Kieseritzky happened to be in London for a 16-player championship tournament and sat down to relax a little at Simpson's Grand Divan Tavern, hardly knowing they were going to make history. That afternoon, on June 21, 1851, the two played out what has come to be known as "the Immortal Game." In this astonishing encounter, Anderssen, playing white, eventually gives up his two rooks to gain positional advantage and, in a breathtaking moment of sheer genius, deliberately, shockingly sacrifices his queen to clear the way to an unforgettable checkmate.

Bluffy the Vampire Slayer

On the mathematical impossibility of vampires preying on people now:

Because there would be no people left.

Proof: If the true Dracula would have bitten his first victim on Jan 1, 1600 and there were only about more than 500 million at that time. Pretending that COunt Transylvania only bit one person a month and that person would bite only one person a month etc., there would be no human left by July 1602.

ABC for Halloween

Cardinal

I predicted the World Series score 4-1 but chose the wrong team.

UP Money

This is the money they will be tearing up in UP to protest the dramatic tuition increase

Curt Contest Causes Cerebral Celebrity Crash

From Wired Magazine: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves. Dozens of our favorite auteurs put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his ("God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."), but the rest are concise masterpieces

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket. - William Shatner
Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love. - David Brin
Automobile warranty expires. So does engine. - Stan Lee
Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time - Alan Moore
Longed for him. Got him. Shit. - Margaret Atwood
With bloody hands, I say good-bye. - Frank Miller
Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please. - Steven Meretzky
Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth. - Vernor Vinge
It cost too much, staying human. - Bruce Sterling
We kissed. She melted. Mop please! - James Patrick Kelly
Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses. - Richard Powers
I’m dead. I’ve missed you. Kiss … ? - Neil Gaiman
Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped. - Howard Waldrop
To save humankind he died again. - Ben Bova
We went solar; sun went nova. - Ken MacLeod
Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!” - Paul Di Filippo
“I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.” - Howard Chaykin
Broken heart, 45, WLTM disabled man. - Mark Millar
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there … - Harry Harrison
Tick tock tick tock tick tick. - Neal Stephenson
Easy. Just touch the match to - Ursula K. Le Guin
K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 - Closed Casket - Richard K. Morgan
WORLD'S END. Sic transit gloria Monday. - Gregory Benford
Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it. - Brian Herbert
Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties. - Cory Doctorow
Heaven falls. Details at eleven. - Robert Jordan
Bush told the truth. Hell froze. - William Gibson
whorl. Help! I'm caught in a time - Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel
Nevertheless, he tried a third time. - James P. Blaylock
Help! Trapped in a text adventure! - Marc Laidlaw
Lost, then found. Too bad. - Graeme Gibson
Three to Iraq. One came back. - Graeme Gibson
Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one? - David Brin
Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back. - David Brin
Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot. - David Brin
Deadline postponed. Five words enough...? - David Brin
Please, this is everything, I swear. - Orson Scott Card
Osama’s time machine: President Gore concerned. - Charles Stross
Ships fire; princess weeps, between stars. - Charles Stross
Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd. - Eileen Gunn
Clones demand rights: second Emancipation Proclamation. - Paul Di Filippo
We crossed the border; they killed us. - Howard Waldrop
The Axis in WWII: haiku! Gesundheit. - Howard Waldrop
Salinger story: three koans in fountain. - Howard Waldrop
In the beginning was the word. - Gregory Maguire
Commas, see, add, like, nada, okay? - Gregory Maguire
Weeping, Bush misheard Cheney’s deathbed advice. - Gregory Maguire
Corpse parts missing. Doctor buys yacht. - Margaret Atwood
Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved. - Margaret Atwood
He read his obituary with confusion. - Steven Meretzky
Time traveler's thought: "What's the password?" - Steven Meretzky
Steve ignores editor's word limit and - Steven Meretzky
Parallel universe. Bush, destitute, joins army. - Steven Meretzky
Dorothy: "Fuck it, I'll stay here." - Steven Meretzky
Will this do (lazy writer asked)? - Ken MacLeod

There's the Catch

Ichiro


Willy Mays


Melky Cabrera

Geek or Treat

Get your StarWars Paper Mask here:

UP Diliman grafitti

"FOR SALE DOG w/ TALENT"

In a cubicle: "Donate your bulbol here.." then there's a chewed gum beside it to stick your specimen

In UP Mindanao, written on a wall beside a window: Please do not throw garbage outside, the carabao might die. But if you look outside, there is no carabao. Only carabao grass.

On a desk:
PANTY ni MA'AM
06/18 - green ang panty niya ngayon
06/20 - rainbow naman ngayon
06/24 - black, lacey effect
06/26 - (nothing written)

On a wall on the walkway from Molave to Sanggumay:
bawal omehe. ang mahole potol tete.
Then beside is a drawing of a breast and this written below it:
dodo ng cow

On the restroom for men:
"Hawak ko saking mga kamay ang kinabukasan ng bayan!" may apat na tanga, panlima ang bumabasa.


Another restroom grafitti:
"TITI MO DILIS!"
"SA IYO PANDACA PYGMEA!"
"AT LEAST MERON, EH IKAW WALA!"
"KALA KO BA DILIS?"

On the back of a CR cubicle:
PUSTAHAN, TUMATAE KA NGAYON.

On as cubicle in Kalayaan:
Paggising sa umaga,
punta sa kubeta,
magbatibot,
magbatibot!

In the Music Room of UPIS:
maam _______(music prof) boses palaka!
tas may sumagot
nakarinig ka na ba ng boses ng palaka
tas may sumagot uli
weh
tas may nag-react uli
oo, sabi kokak!kokak! (Forgive them. High school humor)

Again in Kalayaan:
"Sigurado ako, habang binabasa mo ito, umeebak ka."
Answered by:
"Paano mo nalaman? Psychic ka ano?" Answered again by:
"Baka ikaw ang psychic kasi nalaman mong psychic siya."

Above an electric outlet in the chemistry Lab:
put tongue here...

Ona desk of a match teacher:
"my prof is the devil himself"

On a wall in the Math Building: >
BABALA: asawa ni babalu

In the girl's restroom:
"Sa Sobrang laki ng UP, di ko na mahanap ang sarili ko."

On a table in UP Manila:
"when you're failin' ur math17 class
drop it like its hot, drop it like its hot..."

A variation in a urinal:
90% of the time your are holding yours with your right hand, if not, that's 10%...

everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.

In UP Manila: *Roses are red. Grasses are green. I love your legs. What's in between?

Again in UP Math Bldg:
"mamatay na sana ang nag-imbento ng math!"
Answered by:
"tanga! matagal ng patay yung taong yun!"

A slave bows when he sees his master, but then silently farts"

You think these are stupid, in UST, this was spray-painted on its wall:
OUTS GMA

Cheney Surfer Girl

Dick Cheney, US vice-president, admitted that they are using water torture on Khaled Sheikh Mohammed, the senior al-Qaeda operative now being held at Guantánamo Bay. He said that this is justified, using the all mighty we-are-Americans-we-are-supreme alibi "to save American lives." The American soldiers ahd perfected the water torture not only to punish but to kill Filipinos during the Philippine American War.
"[It's] a direct affront to the primary authors of the Military Commission Act in the Senate — John McCain, Lindsey Graham and John Warner — all of whom have publicly stated that the legislation signed by the president last week makes water boarding a war crime," said Jennifer Daskal, advocacy director at Human Rights Watch. "This is Cheney ignoring the consensus of his own Pentagon," she said.

Passport Dinner

PDOS* Hors d'oeuvre
Blue Skies crackers and pate

Despedida first course
(Seafarer's Delight)
Rellenong Bangus

Delayed salary second course
Beef Caldereta

Remittance gulay
(Memories of Hong Kong)
Chop Suey

Pasalubong Dessert
Surprise!

Homesick Blues Punch

Repatriation refreshments
Coffee, tea

This is the menu for the fundraising dinner for the Tahanan Migrant Women's Shelter to be held tomorrow, Friday, October 27, 2006 from 7-10 pm at the shelter: #65, 10th Avenue, Cubao, Manila, Philippines. Music from Sining Bulosan (a group of creative musicians, Lala, Ding, Danny and Jason), Rica Nepomuceno (a Europe-trained classical soprano performer), violinist Orlando Mendoza, and guitarists Empiel Palma and Levy Abad Junior.

Now that Chacha is Dead

Here's the election joke:


While walking down the street one day a congressman was tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrived in heaven and met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says Rep. XXX

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says Rep. XXX.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the Rep. XXX. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lechon and sushi, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."

Alice

Lichtenstein

I bought an art book by Roy Lichtenstein. Now you can do a Lichtenstein. Wham!!!

Grumpy

Women are grumpier than men in the morning, a survey has found.

The report, which confirms what many men have long believed, adds insult to injury by saying women also stay in a bad mood for longer.

The survey by The Sleep Council, which aims to raise awareness of the importance of good sleep, found 24 per cent of men say they never wake up grumpy, as opposed to only 14 per cent of women.

It also found that 13 per cent of women stayed in a bad mood for two to four hours, compared to 10 per cent of men.

The survey, published ahead of National Sleep In Day on October 29 - the day the clocks go back and Britons get an extra hour in bed - revealed 41 of respondents believe lack of sleep is the main reason for being cranky in the morning.

The Sleep Council's Jessica Alexander said women's grumpiness could perhaps be explained by the quality of sleep they were getting.

"As men appear to sleep better than women, perhaps it's not surprising that more women than men get out of bed on the wrong side," she said.

"It also tends to be them that prepares the breakfast, spends time with the children, check their emails and attend to their beauty regime.

"Women far outweigh men in having a busy and packed morning."

Elvis Sighting 1

Eat like Elvis

Meanwhile, In Jollibee... (NSFW)

Dear Parents,

We regret to inform you that a video depicting our well-loved Jollibee mascots in a distasteful situation is now circulating online. The material is obviously no more than someone’s idea of a senseless amusement. Yet we cannot ignore the equally obvious risk of its effect on our children.

Jollibee created the mascot for kids, their wholesome fun and carefree innocence. We’ve worked hard and unceasingly for the mascot to earn your kids’ trust and love. It would be so sad to have all this swept away by one mindless prank.

We will not let this pass, neither will we let it happen again. Be assured we are taking all necessary steps to bring the culprits into account. One thing we know we can count on is your support in countering this threat.

Please help us spread the word that this corrupting material should not be passed on any further. This simple act of control will go a long way in protecting our children.

We apologize for any offense this incident may have caused, and thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Sincerely,

JOHN VICTOR TENCE
VP Corporate Human Resources
Jollibee Foods Corporation

Thsi message will self-destruct in one day

McDo (Caution to Liberals: Heart Attack)

Here's the ongoing fight between much admired but underheard singer/songwriter Gary Granada and McDo. Now another singer Armida joined the fray. Here's what Pete Lacaba calls the Gary Granada's Granada.

Gary Granada's granada

FROM THIS CORNER: Armida Siguion-Reyna's column in Daily Trib (10/24/2006)

His drive to finish what he started remains, despite a letter from the McDonald's camp inviting him to a meeting, which was only what he and his fellow Kaalagad members initially wanted, until, well, until hell broke loose, and led him to pushing for a boycott of McDo's.

I'm printing the first letter and Gary's response in full. Matapang ang sagot ni Gary, walang pakialam, mistula talagang granada. He probably gave the matter of losing commercial support from the international burger giant some thought, but
even that lost to his ecological concerns.

First, from McDonald's, addressed to Kaalagad,

Attention Fr. Ben Moraleda, Spokesperson, and Gary Granada, volunteer.

"Dear Fr. Moraleda and Mr. Granada:

"On behalf McDonald's Philippines, we would like to invite you to a dialogue with senior McDonald's representatives on Thursday, October 26, at 9:30 AM at Top of the Citi restaurant, 34th floor, Citibank Center, Paseo de Roxas, Makati City.

"McDonald's would like to discuss with your group their efforts in addressing the various issues that you have raised. They would also like to formalize their commitment to your cause of reducing the use of harmful substances in the
quick-service industry.

"Thank you for your attention. Please confirm if you are available on the said date and time. Should you have further queries, please contact Mr. Stevie Martinez at 889-8332 loc. 131 or 0918-9258163.

"Thank you.

"Sincerely,

"HCN Bonjin Bolinao

Managing Director

DDB Phils. Ad Verbum PR"

Here now is Gary's reply, which he sent Oct. 19, through e-mail to Ms. Bolinao, to this lola, and, I presume, to all his other friends in media, none of whom can be deemed pipitsugin.

"Dear Bonjin,

"I just read your letter dated 16 October, 2006. Thank you for the invitation. Because we are a consultative community, Kaalagad is currently consulting its members and staff as well as our partners in order to come up with an appropriate
collective response.

"Offhand, I would like to share with you my personal view. (Kaalagad is drafting its official position.)

"I am of the opinion that your letter is insincere, insensitive and mercenary. It is
insincere because you write as though October 6 never happened. No mention of the incident, no need for apology, no need to explain why McDonald's acted the way it did.

"It is insensitive because you picked a venue which is one elevator ride from McDonald's bosses' office, while we have to commute all the way to Makati from Quezon City. To add insult to injury, you picked the very same building where
we were harassed by your security people and shabbily treated by your managers.

"It is mercenary because I see PR written all over the page. It is not even signed by McDonald's but by an ad agency. We are not a 'market' that your college advertising textbooks may have taught you to regard. We are not a 'segment' of the market that you can simply 'sample', 'profile' and 'contain' if need be.

"Don't treat us like we are a PR problem. I cannot take this veiled insult sitting down. So, to cut the crap, I will excuse myself from any possible dialogue with you or your client.

"I have a very simple, doable and straightforward suggestion to you though. Why don't you and McDonald's use everything within your enormous financial and media clout to discredit what I am saying:

"DON'T BUY MCDONALD'S BECAUSE:

1. McDonald's is arrogant - don't make them more arrogant.

2. McDonald's uses styrofoam - don't encourage them further.

"I urge you to publicly discredit those two statements. And I shall be very happy, even eager, to be discredited and proven wrong if you really mean what you say. Show proof in all your stores and offices that contrary to what I am saying, McDonald's is a humble giant that puts public welfare above profit. That way, we all win!

"I will publicly broadcast those statements. I know it sounds laughable for I can't even afford to pay for one column-centimeter of news item. A little-known folksinger versus a transnational ad agency of a transnational mega-corporation is a like playing chess blindfolded with one rook less. On the other hand, I believe there are lots and lots of people who simply seek goodwill and solidarity. And I suspect many of them are fond of spaghetti and brewed coffee.

"This will be the last time I'll write to you regarding McDonald's, hell I don't get paid for writing letters like you do.

"Lastly, please do not take this letter as a personal affront. Like you said over the phone, we have common friends. I hope we are on the same page then, for instance, in taking the illegitimate Arroyo government to task over the specter of state-sponsored summary executions and brazen political opportunism that has become the norm in this country.

"Tell you what, I hang out at Conspiracy (Visayas Ave, Quezon City, across Shell, beside Equitable Bank, landline 453-2170). My favorite singers Cooky Chua and Noel Cabangon (who by the way once did a commercial for McDonald's) perform there. Our mutual friend Conrado DeQuiros is a regular. You might want to check the place out. Please let me buy you a beer, no scripts, no agenda, but as real persons in a real way.

"Sincerely, Gary Granada"

I know both Bonjin and Gary. Bonjin tried to contact me the day before I left for Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte, and I suppose it had to do with the space I gave Gary's complaint, regarding the Oct. 6 incident, or what he entitled "My Personal
Ordeal With the Arrogant Managers of McDonald's."

But my decision to put out the second granada missive in its entirety has nothing to do with being on beso-beso terms with the two. It's just that sometime in June, of 2003, I stated that this corner would also serve as a "consumer's watchdog" and publish complaints from readers who feel they've been shortchanged by local business
establishments. So, there.

Besides, I so rarely get letters as forthright. It shows that not all entertainers are garapal na mukhang pera. While others make obscene amounts of money promoting McDo on TV and on billboards, there is a Gary Granada who cares more for his
environment, and this I will publish any time of the day.

Why can't there be more like him? Why do we, instead, get the likes of Š hindi bale na lang, saka na.

Liberal Heart Attacks

In a recent study performed by researchers at Drew Fallon College near Redding, CA, suggests that people passionate in liberal causes tend to suffer more heart-related ailments.

Susan Belusco, who led the research, managed to gather three study groups, one group of 115 people claiming to be passionate over conservative causes, a second group of 115 claiming to be passionate over liberal causes, and a third group of 115 people who claiming not to pay much attention to political issues, dubbed the "neutral group".

"The conservative and neutral groups seemed to share similar vitals after testings on the EKG and the treadmill", notes Belusco. "Blood pressure readings didn't seem to vary much between these two groups. However, the liberal group showed remarkably higher number of people above the healthy blood pressure range, and treadmill tests suggested a higher number of people with weaker cardiac rhythm, and more stressed breathing."

Overall, Belusco notes the liberal group had an 18% higher rate of cardio-pulmonary risk factors, ranging from hypertension, to smoking, to being overweight.

A psychological analysis conducted by Belusco's assistant, Jonathan Fitz, showed that the liberal group tended to have more sleeping problems, and experienced higher cases of stress. "Tests we've conducted showed the liberal group tended to have higher feelings of hopelessness than with the conservative and neutral groups", Fitz explains.

Dr. Isao Yamashita, who studies the effects of current events on human behavior at Cowle Laboratories, Inc. in Payson, AZ, took an interest in the study and offered some explanations surrounding the results.

"Within the past 10 years, we've witnessed certain events that tend to weigh more heavily on people active in the liberal movement", says Yamashita. "News of global warming, Americans voting for more conservative politicians, the building of more Wal-Mart stores, these things and more are putting liberals under greater stress".

Yamashita also points to more clinical matters, such as a correlation of caffeine addiction with the increase of coffee houses, higher sodium intake with the popularity of tofu-based substitutes, and an increase in electro-magnetic radiation from driving hybrid cars.

Cito Beltran's Martial Law programs

Martial law version 1.0 to 4.0

CTALK By Cito Beltran


Version 1.0 is the Ferdinand Marcos version where one uses legitimate causes for concern such as lawlessness in the countryside, imminent threat from an armed enemy of the state such as the Communist Party of the Philippines or the CPP.

Version 1.0 also seeks to redesign Philippine society in an attempt to dismantle oligarchies that control power plants, banks, media outlets and other fields that directly influence and control the economy and society.

Version 1.0 also seeks to further the political control of the administration in order to undertake the necessary redesign so that this country can be great again! It seeks to establish a monopoly of governance by promoting one
political party.

Version 1.0 is loosely based on the old Philippine Constitution WHEREBY; As provided by law, the President declares the declaration of Martial Law 2 days after he has rounded up his critics, imprisoned his political enemies, taken over media offices, the Meralco, PLDT, Pantranco, and Philippine Airlines or PAL.

Version 1.0 promises to lift the state of martial law immediately after all known threats to the security of the state have been neutralized, rebellions quelled, criticisms quashed, lucrative businesses taken over, oligarchs replaced, journalists and broadcasters have reinvented themselves to become farmers, teachers, poets,
philosophers and green card holders.
* * *
Version 2.0 is the improved version of 1.0 with the same principal author but with various refinements learned after 17 years and due largely to determined pressure from the United States whose business supporters are no longer pleased with losses in the once lucrative Martial Law state. The white boys were not too hot about
brown brothers wanting to take over their operations as well.

Version 2.0 declares the lifting of Martial Law, the restoration of civil liberties and tolerance for public demonstrations preferably in New York in the US and not Cubao. Said lifting of martial rule shall be put in effect in all major dailies
and media outlets. All other forms of control remain the same.

Version 2.0 allows the emergence of political activity so some form of intelligent life and contrary opinion may be heard in the halls of the Batasan. Travel bans are further lifted on family members of known critics and enemies of the state
if the purpose of travel is long term absence from the Philippines.

Protest marches shall be encouraged when said marches are part of a funeral procession wherein the dead person to be buried is a known government critic such as Ninoy Aquino etc.

Version 2.0 has a built in waiver whereby parties or individuals who may question the authenticity or truth that Martial Law has been lifted may turn to the recently "liberated" courts which have been given "free will" to determine such politically sensitive democratic questions.
* * *
Version 3.0 Martial Law in yellow packaging was a virus designed to track down any trace of life form relative to version 1.0, version 2.0, Ferdinand Marcos, his cronies, or anybody who does not like the color yellow or anything remotely related to version 1.0 and 2.0.

The yellow virus efficiently erased alternative fuel and power programs, eradicated the standard operating language of business known as English and replaced it with a contested "bun.docs" dominant dialect.

The virus broke down security programs which ultimately caused the National security program to be severely infected. The virus also replaced the Operating System (OS) of Version 1.0 with their own Yellow 87 OS or constitution.

Version 3.0 however also had a VALUE save program whereby all valuable assets of the Marcoses and their cronies were saved by the Trojan known as PCGG. Trojan because after coming to save the value assets, the Trojan transferred the value assets to Version 3.0 operators. Operators of Version 1.0 are still looking for sports cars,
planes, yachts that remain lifted by the Trojan program.

In addition this version also restores certain assets to certain so-called oppressed oligarchs without need of paying refund for below market value payments made to them by operators of Version 1.0.

Version 3.0 was also designed to protect and preserve any and all changes, made by the yellow peril while they perilously attempted to design a government, run a government the same way they ran a hacienda.

Version 3.0 is a short term Martial Law format with a life span that lasts only until all potential threats and personalities have been recorded at the departure lounge of the Bureau of Immigration.

In terms of political structure, version 3.0 likewise removes all controls, logic, or purpose for creating political parties, the number of said parties, or use of such parties. The operating logic is: who needs a reason to have a party!

Version 4.0 is the mother of all Martial Law programs ever applied. With 4.0 no declaration is needed in order to access, install, or operate Martial Law 4.0.

Users simply kick out current operators of democracy programs.

With ML 4.0, users simply integrate all pirates, under one roof, install USER friendly judicial interpretation programs, couple it with off the
rack Legislative User friendly providers, secure it with X-MEN entities devoid of soul or social responsibilities.

With this design, all ML 4.0 operators stay perfectly legal even though somewhat immortal. No laws are broken since they make their own laws, interpret said laws, they even have their own Nationalized Law firm. And when all else fail it comes with the mother of all waivers: Just type in: Lapse of Judgment = RESET.

ML 4.0 however is a very expensive program to operate since it requires constant feed inputs such as general promotions to inappropriate positions.

WARNING: ML 4.0 IS AN IMPERFECT PROGRAM. USER MAY BE INFECTED WITH BUILT IN TROJAN TITLED "THE GAMES OF THE GENERALS".

Copyright© philstar.com
All rights reserved

Voltus

Hey! I bought the whole 40-episode Voltes V for P100. That comes to P2.50 per episode. I remember a friend who walked for two kilometers to watch Voltes V every Friday. That friend is now a TV broadcaster. Anyway despite having this, I still long for the Philippine dubbing. Don't you know that the characters' names for the Philippine production (1979 to 1980) were also retained for the U.S. production.

Kontra Gahum

Launching on November 23
KONTRA-GAHUM:Academics Against Political Killings

Table of Contents

Foreword: Judy Taguiwalo
Introduction: Counterpoint by Sarah Raymundo
I. Historicizing Terror
Neocolonial State Terrorism and the Crisis of Comprador/Imperialist Hegemony by E. San Juan
W.H.A.M. Bang! Thank You Ma’am!: Winning Hearts and Minds Under Macapagal-Arroyo’s Fascist Rule by Arnold Alamon
Panimulang Pananaliksik na Open Source kaugnay ng Diskurso ng OPLAN Bantay-Laya by Ramon Guillermo
The Rites of Summer/Pall over the land by Elmer A. Ordoñez
Bloodshed and the Coercive Communal Peace Negotiations:Some Hallmarks of the Macapal Arroyo Regime by Peter Chua
II. Theorizing Terror and the Political
Spectacle ng Politikal na Pagpaslang at ng Tunay, STD (Short-Term Deficiency) ni GMA by Rolando B. Tolentino
Force, with and “a”: Late Fascism and It’s Implications for the Revolution, or Some Effects of Political Killings on Representation and Their Consequences for the People’s War in the Philippines by Jonathan Beller
Terror Talks: The Public Secret by JPaul Manzanilla
Cassus Belli by Rommel Rodriguez
Tracing the Roots of Killings of Journalists by Danilo A. Arao
III.(en)Countering Terror
Boomerang by Luis Teodoro
Affirming the Universality of Human Rights in the State of Exception by Gerardo Lanuza
Ang Etika ng Tunay Laban sa Diskursong Wakasan by Sarah Raymundo
Kontra-Naratibo: Karahasan, Pagpaslang, Kamatayan, Media at ang Ating Papel Tungo sa Bagong Naratibo ng Bansa by Choy Pangilinan
Aftwerword: Akademya at Pagpaslang by Rolando B. Tolentino

Botero

This famous Colombian painter of obese people has shifted his sights on the Abu Gharib scandal. The figures are still corpulent but this article made us admirers of his artistic mission.

The fact that I’ve done painting with pleasant subject matter doesn’t make it impossible for me to do work on a subject that touched me very much. Fortunately, I’m a figurative artist, and I can speak directly. I didn’t change my style at all. I painted in exactly the same way. I don’t believe you have one style for dramatic things and another for pleasant things. It’s the same style—the same forms, the same treatment of color and composition, the whole thing. The subject matter is the only thing that is different.

Nosferatu

This is the first Vampire movie and was banned by the Vatican. There was a rumor that Max Schreck who played the Vampire is (was) a real deal. Watch this and get the chills.

What is This?

Look at the comment for the answer.

Lam-ang Revisited (and Reshampooed)

Hoy, remember your legend of Lam-ang? You know the Ilocano superman with his talkign rooster who lives along the Amburayan River? Remember that time when he washed his hair unwashed for more than a decade? After he washed his hair, the Amburayan was forever dirty. Here's a real Lam-ang in the hair sense. Twenty-six years he did not wash his hair:

Eighty-year-old Mr. Luo lives in the little village of Chong Qing city in China. Wildly enough, he hasn’t washed or cut his hair or beard for more than 26 years. His hair grew to 2 meters long and his beard was 1.5 meters. For the first time in 26 years, he decided to give himself a new look for a local animal sports event. All the townspeople lined up to give him a hand. After many failed attempts using regular shampoo, they spent a total of 5 hours and 3 packs of laundry detergent to wash him clean. In the end, Mr. Luo was a very happy man.

Oh where O where is Paolo Bediones and his portable shampooer???

Digit Ratio

They say you can forget palmistry but the size of your digits may tell more about you. here's the Washington Post article
A new study in a British medical journal finds a link between the relative length of a woman's index and ring fingers and her athletic prowess. The research takes its place among dozens of other studies tying that ratio -- known in finger-measurement circles as 2D:4D (the relationship between the length of the second digit, 2D, and the fourth) -- to all manner of physical and psychological traits, from breast cancer risk to schizophrenia.

Pink Bag

In our continuous stories from tabloids, here's one about the thief who was caught in Batasan Hills at about 1 in the morning because he was wearing a pink shoulder bag. The barangay tanods (village guards) noticed Alberto Mias walking with a pink shoulder bag and he was not even in drag. He was detained later on complaint by Stephanie of San Mateo, Rizal. According to Stephanie, they were passengers in a tricycle (note to nonlumpen partisanos: In the Philippines, tricycle fares rise exponentially in the wee hours and most passengers would rather wait for others to fill up the trike) when Mias signalled the driver to stop at the IBP Road. Instead of paying, Mias grabbed the pink bag and ran away.

Watching the Mets Lose Made me so Hungry

Detroit by 5

To Those Who Think That Reproductive Health is Evil

This is for you

Stand Up Against Poverty.

People are asking me why I did not report about the "Stand Up Against Poverty" event in Baguio? The one with the condom-selling and fish clowns? The artists beating the drums to stamp out the evils of poverty? The gay stand up comics? It actually took the glory from the Manila event in the newspapers and TV. I didn't write about it because I organized it with EV. Although we were asked to do something a month ago we jsut kind of ignored it because we are deadline beaters. Then EV has to go to Congo and we forgot about it until a week before the event. The Stand Up Comedy was not my idea. It was Day's. And then we just added into it. I have to book the comedians. EV wanted the Nora impersonator. I wanted Eros but I worked with him in many projects already. The problem was the night before the event we still have no idea if it will push through. Eros and Nora were not answering their phones. I had their script ready. We already gave out flyers and the tarpaulin was already printed. The Baguio artists were on to another project: the world's longest painting of fish. The guys form Manila advised us to just come up with a simple signature campaign but I have to tell them that we are eventologists. We will come out wiht a Plan B. We depressingly made our plans for a Plan B which is a slapstick of fish and empty pots. Then Eros came and took our script and assured us that it would be a piece of cake. Nora failed to show up. Anyway whatever happened during The Day still was all improvisation. The drummers got into the zone and won't let up. I told Tonywacs to chant the pledge and he did! The comedians went with their act under the cruel sun. The Otyzztyks with their crazy slippers sought the signatures. And before we knew the hour has passed and we knew we got good copy.

Here's thye official UN press release:


RP Exceeds Target: 2.4 Million Filipinos Stood Up Against Poverty

Oct.18, Manila--- In a feisty show of unity and strength, 2,411,121 Filipinos from Baguio in Northern Luzon to Sulu and Tawi-Tawi in Southern Mindanao joined the Tumayo Tayo Pilipinas Campaign (Stand Up Against Poverty) in numerous events held by the UN System in the Philippines and its partners from the government, non-government organizations, private sector, academe and media on the eve of Oct. 15 up until the eve of Oct. 16.

The UN in the Philippines and its partners had initially aimed to have at least 1 million Filipinos joining the campaign. Instead, they breezed past their target by 100% at the close of counting on Oct. 16. Even after the official receipt of reports from across the country had ended, numerous organizations still continued to send in their attendance reports, signifying huge support from various stakeholders from all walks of life.

Stand Up Against Poverty, the rallying event of the United Nations’ Millennium Campaign to raise awareness on the Millennium Development Goals, now holds the official record title in the Guinness World Record for having the most number of people to “Stand Up Against Poverty” in 24 hours on 15-16 October with a total of 23,542,614 people from 87 countries who participated in 11,646 events around the globe.

The bulk of the numbers came from Asia and the Pacific, with an aggregate total of 18 million who rallied behind the MDG awareness campaign. In Asia and Pacific, India topped the race for the number of people at 9,731,983. Nepal came in second with 3,131,584 while the Philippines was third at 2,411,121. Other countries in Asia Pacific which participated included Bali, Bangladesh, Bhutan, China, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Japan, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Nepal, Republic of Maldives, Pakistan, Singapore, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Vietnam and others.

Topping the list for the top 10 organizations which had the most number of participants in the country was DepEd, Region 3-Central Luzon, with 1,772,202 participants, followed by Dep Ed Region 3-Bulacan, 358,300; DepEd Region 9-Davao, 220,568; DepEd Nueva Ecija, 190,470; DepEd Region 10-Davao Oriental, 83,191; Philippine UN White Helmets Commission and Association, 80,560; DepEd-Nueva Ecija (2nd report) with 43,717; DepEd Region -Dagupan with 29,313; DepEd Zambales with 25,582 and DepEd-Gapan City, 22,377.

The official counting in the Philippines was validated and officiated by representatives from the Sycip, Gorres, Velayo & Co. accounting firm, a UN partner for the Philippine campaign dubbed Tumayo Tayo Pilipinas. Details and photos of the campaign may be downloaded at www.millenniumcampaign.ph

The Tumayo Tayo Pilipinas campaign aimed to raise awareness on the state of poverty in the country in the context of meeting the MDGs by 2015. The campaign also celebrated the significant local gains made for the achievement of the MDGs and called on duty-bearers to hurdle the complex challenges facing the country ahead.

In September 2000, 191 UN-member countries, rich and poor alike, reaffirmed their commitment to peace and security, good governance and attention to the most vulnerable with the adoption of the Millennium Declaration. Containing commitments to achieve the eight MDGs, the declaration reflects the vision of entire nations, working together with international and country-based organizations to wipe out poverty and the worst forms of human deprivation and lay the foundations for sustainable human development by 2015.

Tumayo Tayo Pilipinas featured a lead flag-raising ceremony integrating the Tumayo Tayo pledge, read in Filipino by President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. It was organized by government officials led by the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, National Anti-Poverty Commission, Office of the PA on Culture, Department of Education, Department of Social Welfare and Development and the League of Municipalities, among others. Similar Tumayo Tayo moments were integrated in flag-raising ceremonies held at the Senate, Congress and Supreme Court, demonstrating the full participation of the legislative, executive and judiciary branches of government.

On center stage was the MDG Festival held in Marikina City, an MDG resource city. An MDG Rock Concert was held on Oct. 15 at Freedom Park in Marikina, followed by the Marikina City flag-raising Tumayo Tayo moment, partners exhibitions, social artistry programme showcase, the launch of the UN’s World Investment Report 2006, a Konsyertong Bayan Laban sa Kahirapan and the UNDP’s Galing Pook Special Citation on Local Capacity Innovations for the MDGs.

The UN’s various partners for the campaign staged their own events. In Baguio City, the Philippine Non-Government Organization Council had comedians, clowns and artists painting sad faces to get people to sign a petition condemning widespread poverty.

In Quezon City, the Global Call for Action Against Poverty, another UN partner for the campaign, formed a human chain, signifying unity against poverty. Other events were also held in Los Banos, Laguna, Pampanga, Eastern Samar, Sulu and Tawi-Tawi and various parts of the country.

Forty Greatest New Wave Singles from BLENDER

Did not see this on the Net so I have to write these all down:

40. Billy Joel IT'S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME 1980
39. The Go-Go's OUR LIPS ARE SEALED 1981
38. XTC MAKING PLANS FOR NIGEL 1979
37. A Flock of Seagulls I RAN (SO FAR AWAY) 1982
36. Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five WHITE LINES (DON'T DO IT) 1983
35. R.E.M. RADIO FREE EUROPE 1981
34. Billy Idol REBEL YELL 1984
33. U2 I WILL FOLLOW 1980
32. A-ha TAKE ON ME 1985
31. Soft Cell TAINTED LOVE 1982
30. Romeo Void NEVER SAY NEVER 1982
29. The English Beat MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM 1980
28. Violent Femmes BLISTER IN THE SUN 1983
27. New Order BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE 1986
26. The Cure LET'S GO TO BED 1983
25. Madonna BURNING UP 1983
24. Devo I CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION 1978
23. Franz Ferdinand TAKE ME OUT 2004
22. The Pixies DEBASER 1989
21. The Normal WARM LEATHERETTE 1978
20. M POP MUSIK 1979
19. Gang of Four I FOUND THAT ESSENCE RARE 1979
18. Elvis Costello & The Attractions PUMP IT UP 1978
17. OMD ENOLA GAY 1980
16. The Rapture HOUSE OF JEALOUS LOVERS 2002
15. Blondie ONE WAY OR ANOTHER 1979
14. ABC THE LOOK OF LOVE 1982
13. The Modern Lovers ROADRUNNER 1975
12. The Smiths THE CHARMING MAN 1983
11. Talking Heads LIFE DURING WARTIME 1979
10. Depeche Mode JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH 1981
09. The Cars GOOD TIMES ROLL 1979
08. Pet Shop Boys OPPORTUNITIES (LET'S MAKE LOTS OF MONEY) 1985
07. The Psychedelic Furs PRETTY IN PINK 1981
06. Duran Duran HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF 1982
05. Joy Division LOVE WILL TEAR US APART 1980
04. Human League DON'T YOU WANT ME 1982
03. Prince WHEN YOU WERE MINE 1980
02. The B-52's 52 GIRLS 1979
01. Gary Numan CARS 1980

Weird Al

I have the Weird Al Greatest Hits in my ipod. It's hard to explain why. So why don't I have Vincent Dafalong singing "Nunal" or other parodists. Because I believe Weird Al is more profound than that. Now I saw this tribute from Slate. Who else would sing, "MC Escher—that's my favorite MC?" but the Troubadork.

In Memoriam: 349

Two claimants in the Pepsi 349 raffle draw lost their last chance when the Supreme Court reversed a ruling made by the Court of appeals ordering Pepsi Cola to pay them about P7.5 million. TheCalso said that all other similar petitions from other claimants would also be dismissed. Pepsi ran a promotion in the country telling customers they could win a million pesos if they bought a bottle of Pepsi and found a number corresponding to what was drawn. In May 1992, 349 stamped on the underside of the bottle cap. Unfortunately, due to a software error, 800,000 bottle caps were produced with number 349 instead of one. Because of this a long court battle ensued and this could be the last. To appease the holders of the non-winning "349" crowns, Pepsi Cola offered to pay P500 for every non-winning "349" crown that would be presented on or before June 12, 1992. A total of 490,116 holders of the non-winning "349" crowns took advantage of Pepsi Cola’s goodwill gesture, but still a great number filed against Pepsi Cola separate complaints for recovery of the cash prize and damages. Thus the "349 Movement" was born, vandalizing Pepsi trucks and making Michael Jackson and F4's lives living hells.

Urazawa

Try Ito-ke no shokutaku (The Ito Family Dinner Table), Japan's weekly how-to TV show that combines the spirit of productivity blog Lifehacker with the manic energy of Deal or No Deal. Cohosted by P-ko, an anime PC, the show challenges contestants to top one another with urawaza, or "secret tricks," a concept that became popular in the '80s with gamers swapping tips for beating Super Mario Brothers. One minute, someone is demonstrating a way to improve your bowling score; the next, a guest is showing a technique for keeping Band-Aids on your finger. Ito-ke is in its ninth season on Nippon Television – having spawned an entire industry of recipe books and practical guides – and is gaining a US following thanks to YouTube. The urawaza may seem unbelievable, but all have been proven effective in front of a live audience. Here are a few of our favorite tricks.

Best Sex Tip Yet: Be The Last

From bonobo chimpanzees to fruit flies, many female animals mate with multiple partners that often queue up for the event. Studies have shown that the the last male to mate with a female is the most successful at impregnating her. Nobody has understood why. The last male can take advantage of a more “sperm-friendly” environment created by males that have copulated before him, according to a new model put forth by David Hosken and David Hodgson of the University of Exeter in the United Kingdom.

Knock, knock

For not opening the door, a father strangled his 13-year-old son. Jonathan Andres who resides in Dreamhouse Subdivision in Pasay City was obviously irked when his son, who was sleeping, did not open the door. He strangled and beat him and was promptly hit with child abuse charges.

Nick Pichay's Stigma, Stigmata

Major poet and playwright Nick Pichay's raging against the dying of light. Here's his piece:

Stigma, Stigmata

by Nicolas B. Pichay

On 28 February 2006, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. This was exactly six months and two weeks after I underwent a triple heart by-pass operation. I was 45 years old then, and with the biopsy coming out positive, I felt like someone marked for assassination. Rare is the man or woman who receives a cancer diagnosis in calm aplomb. As soon as my soul realized the situation, my mind zoomed in all directions like an Independence Day firecracker exploding and careening into a kaleidoscope of fear, anger, hope, and then surprisingly, celebration.

At first, I noticed a heightened, paranoiac observation of the ordinary. It is no longer a meal, but maybe “my last meal”. Not just a conversation, but the possibility (in the future, with people gathered at the wake, thinking on hindsight) that it was my “most important last words”. Waving good bye to a friend—a seemingly ordinary action learned by a baby’s innocent act of mimicry and repeated over the years in the course of socialization—suddenly acquires spine-tingling nuances. But surprisingly, other than the morbid, I discovered that intimacy with death has another emotional but familiar effect.

Twice confronted by death’s proximity, I woke up to a world transformed into an inimitable, precious, and fragile place—what poet Rolando Tinio aptly described as a “crystal universe”—where everything takes on the nature of a very shiny, rainbow gilded breakable soap bubble. Colors are brighter, hugs are warmer. Each day burns itself into vivid, sensoramic technicolor memories. I become ecstatic one moment and then sad the next. You might have once been familiar with this feeling—the first time you fell in love. Could this be the reason why the French refer to an orgasm as petite mort, a small death?

Having cancer has become so prevalent in the modern age. In my close circle of friends, Mimi and Rose’s mother and I were diagnosed with various kinds of cancer within three months from each other. Much can be said about the cause of cancer. But as to its effect, I hazard a guess that if having cancer were an art form, critics would have officially declared it as an exciting genre. Like performance art, the horror movie or your favorite telenovela, the participants around a cancer story have formed expectations on what the definitive narratives must contain. For example, no story is complete without the scene where the doctor, with the CT scan plates in front of him, break the news to a stone-faced patient and his family. A cancer narration lacks a punchline without a rundown of the breakdown scene. Or, is there a cancer story not populated with prayerful friends, doting relatives, or the incompetent resident who is unable to properly insert an intravenous needle? My favorite, of course, is the timely appearance of the mysterious generous donors who come to the rescue in the nick of time to contribute for the payment of the medical bills. All these have become the stock characters of the genre. I am pleased to have made their acquaintance, mannerisms and all.

The knowledge of a possible impending death—unlike the suddenness of an accident or the vulgar directness of a coronary thrombosis—brings with it a haze, a presence, an unavoidable grandiloquence about it. I am magnetized to imagine myself in place of others living in another time. The situation cannot escape an 18th Century European opera end-of-Act-II moment, say, where the courtesan, in the height of her beauty, coughs her lungs out producing a speck of blood on her white, lace handkerchief. Instantly, she and the audience recognize this code: the tuberculosis has set in. Romantically referred to as consumption, it was a disease as incurable and untreatable then, as some forms of cancer are now.

Although mortified by manifestations of decay, I’ve observed that people, after knowing that I’m on chemotherapy, generally seem to develop an interest in the changes in my body. “Am I losing my hair? Do I experience nausea and fatigue?” They examine my darkening extremities, look closely at the pallor of my face more keenly than my oncologist. The brave even trace their fingers through the snaking scar on my chest and abdomen as if figuring the escape route on a map. Friends who are bolder delicately inquire about the blisters in my penis. They wonder politely if I can have normal sex again after it heals. (And I reply, “What is “normal” sex?) But their interest, I suspect, goes beyond the clinical. We can trace our awe of pain from the initiation rites in our tribal roots. How much is man’s capacity to bear? Instinctively, we reserve a place of honor for those who can stand up to hardship. A long suffering mother, a wronged mistress, a boxer in the ring, survivors of catastrophic events, and others who have similarly passed a test of physical and emotional endurance all share various levels of admiration and respect. Suffering, when made public, seems to serve as a magnet for sympathy and esteem.

But the personal battle to survive cancer has a special niche. The arbitrariness of disease marks it differently. Moreso when there is no reason to be sick. No logic in the attack. In my life of moderation, I never smoked; regularly ate my greens; and engaged in dutiful exercise. And yet I’ve been stricken with not one, but two deadly diseases. Under the circumstances, the manifestation of cancer becomes a misterio—a stigma or a stigmata? Depending on the perception, cancer is seen either as a reward for a life of blessedness or a punishment for a life of excess. Cancer leads the sufferer to a road to sainthood or the front gates of derision.

But if cancer is a prize for holiness, what does that say about heavenly justice? From this premise, can one make conclusions relative to the general longevity of cardinals and popes? On the other hand, if it is were some species of retribution, how is it that people who have been tagged to various scams and scandals—whose acts have wrought havoc to the lives of powerless innocents—have not excruciatingly died of it? Shouldn’t their various acts of perjuring themselves to the safety of an acquittal deserve some form of irrevocable destiny? Cancer of the tongue, perhaps? These thoughts cross my mind as I lay sideways on a cold metal table while the doctor, with the help of a thin tube, inserts a microcamera up my ass. Groggily, I look at the monitor and see the inside of my colon. I am amazed by the technology and, under the influence of drugs, find myself on a strange trip. “Look,” I say to an imaginary friend, “What a beautiful sight! The intestines are like some creature from inner space.” I think other thoughts to distract me from the slow bloating inside. If cancer is the physical manifestation of the wrath of the giant Om, why are dirty politicians and crooks alike still alive and well and living in palaces? At this point, Dr. Jose P. Rizal, the national hero, appears as a hallucination. Wearing a white lab gown (instead of his usual black overcoat, but still with his bowler hat) he studies the development of our history since his death as if examining x-rays held against the light. He looks up from the evidence and confirms his findings. “This country is suffering from a social cancer.” In this dream, I ask, “Has the cancer grown? Is it terminal?” And finally, “Which cancer is worse, mine or our country’s?” And Dr. Pepe Rizal answers in the manner typical of the medical community, “Who knows?”

Under heavy sedation, I transform into St. Sebastian, captured in that characteristic pose—half-naked, arms raised and tied to a post, with arrows sticking out of his white torso and leg—and despite the pain caused by the giant acupuncture needles, still looking sensuously beatific, eyes heavenward, standing contra-posto. Bravery is the virtue I am supposed to uphold as I fight this cancer into remission. Although I know, I am no saint, not even close to being a martyr. I look at my agony, not as a chance for heroism, but as my sweet dance with death—a many splendored thing. How else can one describe being alone on the operating table? Aware of the sharps and the clang of metal medical equipment that will be used on me, there is no escape. I welcome fear with a hug I reserve only for intimates. I anticipate the care I will receive from relatives. I bask in their love. With friends, I will celebrate each day with the joy of knowing that hope is a bridge being built everyday. And with God, I hold up my right hand, two fingers forming a V: Peace! But the best thing about being treated for cancer is the blessing that there, in the interruption of normal life, one is forewarned. Most of all, having received a notice of possible eviction, having cancer gives one the chance to write the dying scene.

It's That Time of the Weather

A friend in the Hangar Market would gladly make one for you. For my friends, she would gladly do one size shorter for you.