Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Worst Case Scenarios

Popular Science Magazine reprinted some of the Worst Case Scenarios, so for my 1st anniversary we will teach each other these following life-or-death skills:

How to Survive an Pro-Erap Rally
How to Survive a Plane Crash
How to Survive Mayon or Taal or Bulusan and other Anti-social Volcanoes
How to Stop Royette Padilla and his 3H Army
How to Attack Mendiola

How to Survive your Congressman

1. Always stay in groups—sharks are more likely to attack a solitary individual. Do not wander too far from shore. This isolates you and creates the additional danger of being too far from assistance.

2. Avoid being in the water during darkness or twilight hours, when sharks are most active and have a competitive sensory advantage.

3. Do not enter the water if you are bleeding from an open wound or if you are menstruating—a shark is drawn to blood and its olfactory ability is acute.

4. Try not to wear shiny jewelry because the reflected light resembles the sheen of fish scales.

5. Avoid waters with known effluents or sewage and those being used by sport or commercial fishermen, especially if there are signs of bait fish or feeding activity. Diving seabirds are good indicators of such action.

6. Use extra caution when waters are murky and avoid showing any uneven tanning and brightly-colored clothing—sharks see contrast particularly well.

7. If a shark shows itself to you, it may be curious rather than predatory and will probably swim on and leave you alone. If you are under the surface and lucky enough to see an attacking shark, then you do have a good chance of defending yourself if the shark is not too large.

8. Scuba divers should avoid lying on the surface, where they may look like a piece of prey to a shark, and from where they cannot see a shark approaching.

9. A shark attack is a potential danger for anyone who frequents marine waters, but it should be kept in perspective. Bees, wasps, and snakes are responsible for far more fatalities each year, and in the United States the annual risk of death from lightning is 30 times greater than from shark attack.

Another way:

If you are on land, try to get on the alligator’s back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down.

2. Cover the alligator’s eyes. This will usually make it more sedate.

3. If you are attacked, go for the eyes and nose. Use any weapon you have, or your fist.

4. If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (for example, a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouths when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of, and back off.

5. If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or rolling over—these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking.

6. Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths.

If your congressman attacks you first:

1. Do not swim or wade in areas alligators are known to inhabit (in Congressional Road, this can be anywhere).

2. Do not swim or wade alone, and always check out the area before venturing in.

3. Never feed alligators.

4. Do not dangle arms and legs from boats, and avoid throwing unused bait or fish from a boat or dock.

5. Do not harass, try to touch, or capture any alligator.

6. Leave babies and eggs alone. Any adult alligator will respond to a distress call from any youngster. Mother alligators guarding nests and babies will defend them.

7. In most cases the attacking alligators had been fed by humans prior to the attack. This is an important link—feeding alligators seems to cause them to lose their fear and make them more aggressive.


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