The Youth and their New Fatigue

All these stories happening all at the same time. Not new. But if you have access to all of these news all the time. Bad news. Young adults are now suffering from news fatigue. To offset this, AP in their website is doing the "1-2-3 filing," where 1 is "starting with a news alert headline for breaking news, followed by a short present-tense story that is usable on the Web and by broadcasters. The third step is to add details and format stories in ways most appropriate for various news platforms."

Rice in News Trend

Rice news in the Philippines is rising since 2006, as seen in this Google Trend Map. I simply typed "rice" and this is what I got. The "Rice" in the past years was about Condoleeza.

Enough of Brian, Lets Talk About Me: Bryan Boy

Ha ha ha. A quarter of a million holding on to the grapevine about the Gucci Gang. And now, Brian would be opening the comments pages: the most interesting of them all.
But now, we go to Bryan Boy for a schadenfreudeian view of comments:
girl interrupted wrote: Celine stole my doll when we were kids and never returned it
xoxo wrote: I know Brian (personally) and DJ was a passing acquaintance. And yep B's stories are true. DJ is a sleazeball who ripped B off. It's just sad how these blog has rocked and devastated several people including mine. I had 5 days of bad sleep, cant eat and think right. I hope DJ pays up soon. Although B did someting cruel to me as well, I think DJ should get his act up now before this crosses over to mainstream media.
Too late, xoxo
jon wrote: to bring out the crazy: well, let me tell you one thing... i'm rooting for EVERYBODY!!! I'm not taking sides. Team Brian! Team Celine! Team DJ! This whole "thing" is even more screwed up than me which I love!!! It's like anything I blog now is gonna be boring. I mean come on, how can someone TOP that? I spoke to a few other bloggers and they are ALL hooked... NOBODY is blogging anymore lol.
Here's the best:
from vannie
I guess it's almost art. The sordid tale with the glamorous pictures, very well done, very Bret Easton Ellis. But why is your hand on Mephistopheles' leg? And what's with the cheeky smile on your face? Are you his pimp? Are you the Keyser Söze in this tale. I think you are :)

Ten Filipino Buzzwords

I coined these while stuck in the Holiday traffic.

1) Culture of puniness: akin to “culture of impunity” but instead of being callous, this term goes to the root. “Puny” does not only mean “small” or “tiny” like President Gloria M. Arroyo (PGMA) but also the smallness of empathy, conscience and integrity of the people in the government which allows the killing of people who point out this fault.

2) Friendsterism: I’ve been using this term a long time ago. Why do Filipinos use “friendster” over other social networking sites like Facebook, mySpace etc? Because we want to be direct. We love abstract words. We use “friendster” because we want to make friends. We invented “love virus” because we know that people just want to be loved.

3) Pratsfall: (from Camille Prats) You are a cute mestiza. In Pinoy showbiz, that’s enough to make you a starlet. So you have youth, fame, commercial endorsements, movies. Then you got pregnant. Her PR friends tried to make a game of who the father is but people don't care. That’s the end of your fame, dahling. No second act.

4) Bossanian empiricism: (from Bozanian empire) The tendency of Filipino music heads to cash in on “bossa nova.” Sitti Navarro, she with the outrageous diction, started it all. Then we have Sophia, Cinderella bossa, VST bossa, religious bossa, Ilocano bossa. After all, it’s not that hard to do. Even in circa 1970’s Yamaha organs, bossa is just one flick of the switch.

5) CBCPal bull (also H-scad): The tendency of mainstream media to treat all “pastoral letters” from the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines as the argument to end all arguments, similar to the papal bull. Politicians know this. When PGMA was tagged as the most corrupt president Philippines ever had, the Inquirer took a photo of her beside a picture of Christ with the flaming heart. Context: I may be corrupt but God is with me so sorry ka na lang (you’re the Lucita Soriano, sore loser) H-scad means “highly scandalous acts against decency” which is the term used in the House of Representatives, of all people, for their new bill imposing higher penalties against H-scad.

6) Call-centeredness: You are a fresh graduate. You are made to train to speak in an American drawl. Then you get to talk at midnight to Americans as you guide them on the wonderful tedious world of computer or telephone operation. You have this notion that you are talking to a very important American who has more important things to do other than learning how to operate the computer. You are teaching God’s chosen people! Sometimes they bawl you out. That’s OK. Sometimes you have a feeling you are talking to illiterates but that’s OK. You are here guiding those who will save the whole world. If only...

7) Dedma texting: From dedma and texting, of course. This explains the rising number of vehicular accidents in the country because the motorists and pedestrians are busy texting. No wonder, this term was coined from “dead man walking.”

8) Political Korectonism: During the past elections, the only wonderful result was that many showbiz people lost in the elections. Maybe the voters are becoming politically savvy (good luck!). Sen. Ralph Recto knew this. Throughout his married life, he was referred to as “Mr. Vilma Santos” and he used this tag in gaining his first senatorial term. Then in his second run, he thought: Hey, I am the apo of Claro M. Recto, one of the country’s most brilliant and respected statesman. So he changed his motto from “Mr. Vilma” to “Ko-Recto.” Nice shift. He lost. Vilma won.

9) Sinigangstah: “Sinigang” is Pinoy’s favorite food (fish broth soured by tamarind or Knorr Sinigang Mix) but sinigangstah is actually a combination of “sine” and “gangstah.” This is highlighted by Jim Libiran’s “Tribu” which is a story of the many gangs in Tondo. It’s a tragedy because everybody died in the end but it won the Cinemalaya and is now reaping awards abroad. Expect many more movies of the sinigangstah genre. No bittersweet endings only sourness to the hilt.

10)Trillaness: The name has become a condition. Hey, he could not have become a senator if no one voted for him so there must be a lot out there who thought he was the savior out to clean government. But all these coup attempts is getting into our nerves. “Trillanes” is becoming just a “trill” or a “Thrillah” which is all spectacle. Many of us realized that change of government using the military may not be the solution but to some sad people, there’s no other way. Also “Barbarias at the Gate” which refers to “OA attempts to quash Trillaness.”

2008 Meme from New York Times

The ideas spawned this year (and reported by the New York Times) and would come to fruition in the next years. Read them before they yank them out:

Airborne Wind Turbines

Alzheimer’s Telephone Screening

Ambiguity Promotes Liking

Appendix Rationale, The

Best Way to Deflect an Asteroid, The

Biodegradable Coffins

Biofuel Race, The

Braille Tattoo, The

Cardboard Bridge, The

‘Cat Lady’ Conundrum, The

Climate Conflicts

Community Urinalysis

Craigslist Vengeance

Criminal Recycling

Crowdware

Culinary Orientalism

Death of Checkers, The

Digital Search Parties

Edible Cocktail, The

Electric Hockey Skate, The

Faces Decide Elections

Fake Tilt-Shift Photography

Fish-Flavored Fish

God Effect, The

Handshake Sex Appeal

Height Tax, The

Honeycomb Vase, The

Hope Can Be Worse Than Hopelessness

Iconic-Performance-Network Player, The

Indie-Rock Musicals

Interstellar Ramadan

Jogging Politique

Knot Physics

Lap-Dance Science

Left-Hand-Turn Elimination

Lightning Farms

Lite-Brite Fashion

Marijuana Mansions

Mindful Exercise

Minimal Chair, The

Mob Jurisprudence

Murphy Balcony, The

Neurorealism

Next Violin, The

Office-Chair Exercise (for Men and Women)

Pixelated Stained Glass

Pop Fecundity

Posthumous E-Mail

Postnuptial Agreements

Prison Poker

Quitting Can Be Good for You

Radiohead Payment Model, The

Right to Medical Self-Defense, The

Rock-Paper-Scissors Is Universal

Second-World Solidarity

Self-Righting Object, The

Smog-Eating Cement

Starch Made Us Human

Suing God

Telltale Food Wrapping

24/7 Alibi, The

Two-Birds-With-One-Stone Resistance

Unadapted Theatrical Adaptation, The

Vegansexuality

Wave Energy

Weapon-Proof School Gear

Wikiscanning

Wireless Energy

Youtube (Accidental) Audition, The

Zygotic Social Networking

Inday: Genius or Deconstructing the Phenomenon that Swamped the Cellphones

The Inday phenomenon surprised many of us (that's why it's a phenomenon) but in the long run, I got the root of it all. I actually got into the middle part of the phenomenon, gettingsome Inday jokes when probably half of the country were already into it only to learn that I was actually into it before most of my friends. I was glad that at least there was a running joke not just solitary jokes being sent and resent, Inday, if you don't know yet, is this too articulate maid in the household of the Montemayors who has an "on-and-off" relationship with Dodong, the gardener. Very stereotypical. But she speaks English so well and she was so knowledgable that she surprises even her employers, so she must not have aped them. Here's her blog. Or actually, someone got all these text messages and decided to "become" Inday. And now wants us to vote the blog for the "Most Humorous" when the blog is just a recycling center. Here's an introduction of the jokes. Also the idiot box could not be the source (as exemplified by the skit below) because our shows are so moronic to begin with. Just because she is "Inday" does not mean the "Imperial Manila" is the root of this. Never in the jokes did she speak Bisaya even in preparation of her killer put-downs.
I first thought that the Inday phenomenon came from the Smart-Globe-Sun thinktank (you know the ones who recycles all these jokes which are then sent to people and forwarded on and on so the telecoms rake in all the money). If so, what's the rationale? Are they targetting the over-qualified elementary schoolteachers who ended up as DH in England, HK or Singapore? Or the engineers and other professionals who ended up as elementary schoolteachers in US and Canada? But this had been going on for so long.
Then it dawned on me. They are hitting on the call center agents who are trained to speak with an American accent talking technical matters to clue-less Americans.
The Inday jokes are a way of putting them down. You may speak English with a twang but you are just Inday. Sosyal na Alalay, as her blog would say. Still an alalay.
That said, we again resort to laughter as subversion. Laughing at ourselves, we are also laughing at our masters whom we know deep in our hearts (and brain) that we are smarter. I have overheard so many stories from these drunk callcenter agents (at 9 am) about how stupid the requests of their customers are but how superior (the customers) they still feel among themselves. And the agents can not react back or else they will lose their job.
So they talk afterwards at the cafes, drunk and imitating their customers' crazy questions and how they react with their funny technicalese. Just like the Inday jokes.
Now what would be interesting is the Fil-Am reaction to the phenomenon. Some Toronto guy already wrote that this Inday thing is degrading to the Pinoy image and etc etc. Ho hum.
Anyway, someone from Japan emailed this segment and apparently he or she got it from someone from the Philippines: Inday's appearance in Kris Aquino's Deal....Or No Deal:

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang, “Deal or no Deal.” Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!

[Umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.

Inday: Kris, I would opt for case number 4, please.

Kris: Briefcase Number Four, si Sharmel! Inday, matanong ko lang, How did you come up with the number four?

Inday: Oh, do you really want to know, Kris?

Kris: Oo naman. I'm sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.

Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: (Silent scream: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh) Ok Inday, choose six briefcases to open.

Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.

Kris: Wait lang, Inday. Usually isa-isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case?

Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we're to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?

Kris: (Hayyy! Babaguhin pa talaga mechanics) Anwyay, di bale na lang nga? Tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!! [studio audience shouting, “Lower! Lower!”] Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan? Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng "Lower!" everytime magbubukas ng case.

Inday: Kris, I guess that's not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add "-er" to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?

[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]

Kris: Oo nga no! Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na. [Ang laman ng briefcase Seven ay P1. Palakpakan ang mga tao] Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?

Inday: Case number 24 please.

Kris: Chloe? buksan na? [Audience sumisigaw ulit ng, “Lower! Lower!”] Wait lang guys. Inday, may nabuksan nang case. Baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng "Lower”?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh. [Napaisip ulit ng audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [irritated] [At sunod sunod na ngang binuksan ang mga cases ni Inday] [Phone rings]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I'm not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It's quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn't that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker] - Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or No Deal.

(Dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na si Inday)

Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong sa mga friends mo? Sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?

Inday: Ahh, that's my master, Mr. Montemayor.

Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun, how cute naman pala eh. Sige sir, give us a number.

Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I'm a fan. I choose number 12 please.

Kris: Ano Inday, ok ba yung number 12?

Inday: Whatever, we shouldn't bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.

Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na! [ang laman ng briefcase 12 ay 5,000]

Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? What's his name?

Inday: Ahh, that's my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.

Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!

Dodong: Hi Babes, I choose briefcase Nine if it's OK with you. If not, it's OK with me as long as it's OK with you.

Kris: Ano raw? Inday, Number Nine daw ok sayo?

Inday: Yes Kris, it's fine with me.

Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn, Buksan na!!!

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga.

Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment! [nagulat si Kris at ang audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay Inday.]

Nagkatitigan sina Inday at Ederlyn. Nakangisi si Ederlyn habang hawak ang briefcase ni Inday.

Ederlyn: Pinapangako ko, Inday! Pagbukas, luluhod ang mga tala! Hahahahaha!

Inday: What? Can you speak up? What are you mumbling up there? Can somebody give her a microphone please?

Kris: Ano ba!! Tama na nga ang drama ninyo, Ederlyn, buksan mo na ang case at umexit ka na kung ayaw mong mapalitan! (naiirita na si Kris)

Dali-daling binuksan ni Ederlyn ang briefcase at ang laman a P3,000,000! Nanghina yang ang audience. Ang mga natirang values ay P250, 1K, P20K, P50K and 500K.

Inday: Noooo! (sabay tingin kay Dodong at napapaluha) How could you?

Dodong: I'm so sorry Inday. Please forgive me.

Kris: Hayyy, drama again. Ang offer ni banker sa pagbabalik ng Kapamilya, Deal… or No Deal!

[pagtapos ng commercial break, mukhang composed na ulit si Inday]

Kris: Inday, are you okay? Ang offer ni banker ay P99,0000. 'Sing rami siguro ng Pilipinong pinadugo mo na ilong. Is it a Deal or No Deal? Tahimik lang si Inday tilang may kinocompute sa ulo habang ang mga audience ay nagsisigawan ng "No Deal", ang iba naman ay "Deal.”

Kris: Wait lang, kung mapapansin ninyo we have only have 5 cases left, and among those five, apat doon ay mas maliit na value.

Inday: Kris, do you mind? Can I do my own thinking?

(Natameme si Kris, pati ang audience ay natahimik)

Kris: (Taray to the max!)

Inday: Ok, I'm ready. Upon looking at the reality of the situation, 80% of the cases left have at least 49K less than the banker's offer. The only way I can do better than what is offered is that if my case contains the P500,000 or I'd get to open one of the four lower values. But I have to keep in mind that there's only 20% probability that this would happen. I have to take note, however, that the banker's offer is roughly around 15% lower than the offer I expected based on the arithmetic mean of the values left.

Kris: Lord, panaginip ba 'to? Ayokonaaa?.

Inday: Accepting a deal for less than the mean should generally be regarded as a weak decision so I would say, NO DEAL!

Limang briefcase na lang ang natitira at kasama na doon ang case ni Inday.

Kris: My God, nakaka-stress itong episode na ito ha. Baka dumugo na rin ang ilong ko sa'yo, Inday. Sige Inday, go ahead and choose one briefcase!

Inday: Ok Kris, I choose briefcase Number 5 please?

Kris: Briefcase Number 5! Mimi bago mo buksan yan I would first like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my sandals, Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.

Kris: Ok Mimi, buk?

Inday: Ahh Kris, can I also take time to thank a few people? I mean, I did save us a few minutes of airtime right?

Kris: ("kapal naman talaga ng mukha,” bulong sa sarili) Sige, OK lang go ahead. (naka-smile pa rin)

Inday: Thanks! Yes, I would like to thank Frank Provost for my hair and make-up, Jimmy Choo for my sandals and my dear friend Oscar dela Renta for my gown tonight.

Blag! Tinumba ni Kris ang podium at nagwalk-out. Hindi na natapos ang show kaya't binigyan na lang ni Banker si Inday ng kalahating milyon para sa kanyang oras.

Inday: Oh, and thanks to the people of Cartier for sending me these nice earrings for tonight! Ito ang isa sa mga un-aired episode ng Kapamilya, Deal or No Deal]

Japanese Buzzwords

Yes, Japan still looms large in my psyche so this list is helpful. From Pink Tentacle, we bring you the 60 buzzwords for 2007.
5. It couldn’t be helped [shouganai - しょうがない] A Japanese minister used this to refer to the bombing. Two weeks ago, the pilot of Enola Gay, the plane that bombed Hiroshima, died and still maintained that he never lost a sleep over what happened. Is this a way to absolve him?
6. Cabinet of friends [o-tomodachi naikaku - お友達内閣]: “Cabinet of friends” was used to describe former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe’s first Cabinet. Similar to Erap's Midnight Cabinet.
9. Madame Sushi [マダム・スシ]: When giving a lecture during a visit to Washington, former defense minister Yuriko Koike said to the audience: “Some people call me the ‘Japanese Rice’ after Madame Secretary Rice. Why don’t you call me ‘Madame Sushi’?” In Japan, ‘rice’ means ’sushi.
18: Kawaigari [kawaigari - かわいがり]: Kawaigari usually means to “cherish” or “take under one’s wing,” but in the world of sumo it refers to the tradition of severe “training” given to rookie wrestlers at sumo stables. At the Tokitsukaze sumo stable, 17-year-old rookie Takashi Saito died after he was beaten with a metal bat as part of his kawaigari.
21. Sonna no kankei nee [そんなの関係ねぇ]: Sonna no kankei nee (”It doesn’t matter!”) is the catchphrase from comedian Yoshio Kojima’s wildly famous routine. Thanks to YouTube, Kojima’s popularity has spread quickly across the globe.
22. Oppappi [オッパッピー]: This is the other famous line from Kojima’s routine, which is apparently an abbreviation of “Ocean Pacific Peace.”
28. Bottom-biting bug [oshiri kajiri mushi - おしりかじり虫]: Oshiri Kajiri Mushi (”Bottom Biting Bug”), the popular song about a dancing bug that likes to bite people on the butt, became a huge hit on Minna No Uta, a daily NHK program featuring original animated videos for family-oriented songs. Oshiri Kajiri Mushi became the featured dance number at this year’s school athletic meets, cultural festivals and other events nationwide.
30. Dried-fish woman [himono onna - 干物女]: Himono onna (”dried-fish woman”) is an expression used in the movie Hotaru No Hikari to describe the main character, a woman in her 20s who has renounced the pursuit of romance. She spends her evenings reading manga and drinking at home alone, and she spends her weekends lazing around in bed. She’s a dried-fish woman. Akin to the APO hit song, "Tuyo na'ng damdamin" with "tuyo" meaning "dry" or "dried fish."
32. The power of insensitivity [donkanryoku - 鈍感力]: Made popular by Donkanryoku(The Power of Insensitivity), a best-selling book written by popular novelist Junichi Watanabe, this expression means something like “thick skin” and refers to the ability to live in a relaxed manner without getting worked up over the little things. In Philippines, that is President Arroyo's culture of impunity regarding the killing of journalists and NGO workers.
33. Akachan post [赤ちゃんポスト]: Akachan post (”baby post”) refers to the controversial drop box for unwanted babies set up at a hospital in Kumamoto this year, which is designed to provide parents a safe and anonymous way to abandon their babies. Similar baby hatches have been set up in the past, including one at a foster home in Japan’s Gunma prefecture that was used from 1986 to 1991.
39. Monster parents [モンスターペアレント]: The term “monster parents” refers to Japan’s growing ranks of annoying parents who make extravagant and unreasonable demands of their children’s schools.
40. Dark website [yami site - 闇サイト]: Yami sites (”dark websites”) are online networking sites where people can take out hit contracts on others, make illegal transactions (drugs, fake bank accounts, hacked cellphones, prostitution, etc.), and meet suicide partners. Japan has seen a recent rise in the number of murders arranged through these web-based hotbeds of criminal activity.
41. Net cafe refugees [net cafe nanmin - ネットカフェ難民]: “Net cafe refugees” is an expression used by the Japanese media to refer to the growing number of day laborers who spend their nights in 24-hour internet cafe booths. The Japan Cafe Complex Association (JCCA) opposes the media’s use of the word “refugee” to describe these important customers. A government survey this year estimates there are about 5,400 net cafe refugees in Japan.
46. China shock/China-free [チャイナショック／チャイナフリー]: “China shock” refers to the impact felt in world markets after the Shanghai Composite Index took a steep plunge in February. “China-free,” a phrase that grew in popularity after a string of Chinese products (toothpaste, toys, etc.) were found to contain hazardous materials, refers to products not made in China.
51. Motepuyo [もてぷよ]: Motepuyo, a term that means something like “chubby cute,” describes women who are plump, small in stature, and cute. With a fine line between motepuyo and chubby, some say the only difference is whether or not a woman has a cute face.