Inday: Genius or Deconstructing the Phenomenon that Swamped the Cellphones

The Inday phenomenon surprised many of us (that's why it's a phenomenon) but in the long run, I got the root of it all. I actually got into the middle part of the phenomenon, gettingsome Inday jokes when probably half of the country were already into it only to learn that I was actually into it before most of my friends. I was glad that at least there was a running joke not just solitary jokes being sent and resent, Inday, if you don't know yet, is this too articulate maid in the household of the Montemayors who has an "on-and-off" relationship with Dodong, the gardener. Very stereotypical. But she speaks English so well and she was so knowledgable that she surprises even her employers, so she must not have aped them. Here's her blog. Or actually, someone got all these text messages and decided to "become" Inday. And now wants us to vote the blog for the "Most Humorous" when the blog is just a recycling center. Here's an introduction of the jokes. Also the idiot box could not be the source (as exemplified by the skit below) because our shows are so moronic to begin with. Just because she is "Inday" does not mean the "Imperial Manila" is the root of this. Never in the jokes did she speak Bisaya even in preparation of her killer put-downs.
I first thought that the Inday phenomenon came from the Smart-Globe-Sun thinktank (you know the ones who recycles all these jokes which are then sent to people and forwarded on and on so the telecoms rake in all the money). If so, what's the rationale? Are they targetting the over-qualified elementary schoolteachers who ended up as DH in England, HK or Singapore? Or the engineers and other professionals who ended up as elementary schoolteachers in US and Canada? But this had been going on for so long.
Then it dawned on me. They are hitting on the call center agents who are trained to speak with an American accent talking technical matters to clue-less Americans.
The Inday jokes are a way of putting them down. You may speak English with a twang but you are just Inday. Sosyal na Alalay, as her blog would say. Still an alalay.
That said, we again resort to laughter as subversion. Laughing at ourselves, we are also laughing at our masters whom we know deep in our hearts (and brain) that we are smarter. I have overheard so many stories from these drunk callcenter agents (at 9 am) about how stupid the requests of their customers are but how superior (the customers) they still feel among themselves. And the agents can not react back or else they will lose their job.
So they talk afterwards at the cafes, drunk and imitating their customers' crazy questions and how they react with their funny technicalese. Just like the Inday jokes.
Now what would be interesting is the Fil-Am reaction to the phenomenon. Some Toronto guy already wrote that this Inday thing is degrading to the Pinoy image and etc etc. Ho hum.
Anyway, someone from Japan emailed this segment and apparently he or she got it from someone from the Philippines: Inday's appearance in Kris Aquino's Deal....Or No Deal:

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang, “Deal or no Deal.” Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!

[Umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.

Inday: Kris, I would opt for case number 4, please.

Kris: Briefcase Number Four, si Sharmel! Inday, matanong ko lang, How did you come up with the number four?

Inday: Oh, do you really want to know, Kris?

Kris: Oo naman. I'm sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.

Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: (Silent scream: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh) Ok Inday, choose six briefcases to open.

Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.

Kris: Wait lang, Inday. Usually isa-isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case?

Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we're to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?

Kris: (Hayyy! Babaguhin pa talaga mechanics) Anwyay, di bale na lang nga? Tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!! [studio audience shouting, “Lower! Lower!”] Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan? Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng "Lower!" everytime magbubukas ng case.

Inday: Kris, I guess that's not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add "-er" to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?

[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]

Kris: Oo nga no! Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na. [Ang laman ng briefcase Seven ay P1. Palakpakan ang mga tao] Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?

Inday: Case number 24 please.

Kris: Chloe? buksan na? [Audience sumisigaw ulit ng, “Lower! Lower!”] Wait lang guys. Inday, may nabuksan nang case. Baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng "Lower”?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh. [Napaisip ulit ng audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [irritated] [At sunod sunod na ngang binuksan ang mga cases ni Inday] [Phone rings]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I'm not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It's quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn't that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker] - Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or No Deal.

(Dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na si Inday)

Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong sa mga friends mo? Sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?

Inday: Ahh, that's my master, Mr. Montemayor.

Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun, how cute naman pala eh. Sige sir, give us a number.

Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I'm a fan. I choose number 12 please.

Kris: Ano Inday, ok ba yung number 12?

Inday: Whatever, we shouldn't bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.

Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na! [ang laman ng briefcase 12 ay 5,000]

Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? What's his name?

Inday: Ahh, that's my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.

Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!

Dodong: Hi Babes, I choose briefcase Nine if it's OK with you. If not, it's OK with me as long as it's OK with you.

Kris: Ano raw? Inday, Number Nine daw ok sayo?

Inday: Yes Kris, it's fine with me.

Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn, Buksan na!!!

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga.

Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment! [nagulat si Kris at ang audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay Inday.]

Nagkatitigan sina Inday at Ederlyn. Nakangisi si Ederlyn habang hawak ang briefcase ni Inday.

Ederlyn: Pinapangako ko, Inday! Pagbukas, luluhod ang mga tala! Hahahahaha!

Inday: What? Can you speak up? What are you mumbling up there? Can somebody give her a microphone please?

Kris: Ano ba!! Tama na nga ang drama ninyo, Ederlyn, buksan mo na ang case at umexit ka na kung ayaw mong mapalitan! (naiirita na si Kris)

Dali-daling binuksan ni Ederlyn ang briefcase at ang laman a P3,000,000! Nanghina yang ang audience. Ang mga natirang values ay P250, 1K, P20K, P50K and 500K.

Inday: Noooo! (sabay tingin kay Dodong at napapaluha) How could you?

Dodong: I'm so sorry Inday. Please forgive me.

Kris: Hayyy, drama again. Ang offer ni banker sa pagbabalik ng Kapamilya, Deal… or No Deal!

[pagtapos ng commercial break, mukhang composed na ulit si Inday]

Kris: Inday, are you okay? Ang offer ni banker ay P99,0000. 'Sing rami siguro ng Pilipinong pinadugo mo na ilong. Is it a Deal or No Deal? Tahimik lang si Inday tilang may kinocompute sa ulo habang ang mga audience ay nagsisigawan ng "No Deal", ang iba naman ay "Deal.”

Kris: Wait lang, kung mapapansin ninyo we have only have 5 cases left, and among those five, apat doon ay mas maliit na value.

Inday: Kris, do you mind? Can I do my own thinking?

(Natameme si Kris, pati ang audience ay natahimik)

Kris: (Taray to the max!)

Inday: Ok, I'm ready. Upon looking at the reality of the situation, 80% of the cases left have at least 49K less than the banker's offer. The only way I can do better than what is offered is that if my case contains the P500,000 or I'd get to open one of the four lower values. But I have to keep in mind that there's only 20% probability that this would happen. I have to take note, however, that the banker's offer is roughly around 15% lower than the offer I expected based on the arithmetic mean of the values left.

Kris: Lord, panaginip ba 'to? Ayokonaaa?.

Inday: Accepting a deal for less than the mean should generally be regarded as a weak decision so I would say, NO DEAL!

Limang briefcase na lang ang natitira at kasama na doon ang case ni Inday.

Kris: My God, nakaka-stress itong episode na ito ha. Baka dumugo na rin ang ilong ko sa'yo, Inday. Sige Inday, go ahead and choose one briefcase!

Inday: Ok Kris, I choose briefcase Number 5 please?

Kris: Briefcase Number 5! Mimi bago mo buksan yan I would first like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my sandals, Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.

Kris: Ok Mimi, buk?

Inday: Ahh Kris, can I also take time to thank a few people? I mean, I did save us a few minutes of airtime right?

Kris: ("kapal naman talaga ng mukha,” bulong sa sarili) Sige, OK lang go ahead. (naka-smile pa rin)

Inday: Thanks! Yes, I would like to thank Frank Provost for my hair and make-up, Jimmy Choo for my sandals and my dear friend Oscar dela Renta for my gown tonight.

Blag! Tinumba ni Kris ang podium at nagwalk-out. Hindi na natapos ang show kaya't binigyan na lang ni Banker si Inday ng kalahating milyon para sa kanyang oras.

Inday: Oh, and thanks to the people of Cartier for sending me these nice earrings for tonight! Ito ang isa sa mga un-aired episode ng Kapamilya, Deal or No Deal]