Martha Stewart's Prison Belen

We get to see Martha Stewart's recipe for "Olives with Fennell seeds and Orange" but before that she brings us the whole manger scene she created in prison. Well, she told her prison director that she is an expert clay artist and why don't you let me make the whole scene. How great.

Jinggam

We have been fighting about "The Lord is come" and the historical context. M kept on saying it should be "has come" or "coming." I had this argument under my thumb because "Joy to the World" was written by Isaac Watts in the early 1700s and at that time "The Lord is come" was gramatically accepted. There was another version used by the Mormons which corrected it. So I won.
But then there was this Badjao children who came to us and sang "Jingle Bells" and none of the words matched. At least Jingam Bells has "bells." The Badjao version I heard has nothing right.
"Because it wasn't their culture to have Christmas," A said.
"It's more of them not given a chance to learn to read and write," was what I said.
This YouTube was sent by Ige Ramos.

The UP Madrigal Singers in Vigan

Nothing could be more enchanting during the Holidays that being serenaded by the Philippine Madrigal Singer on the cobble-stoned Calle Crisologo.

"The mayor is very romantic, that's why," was what former mayor (and now husband of Mayor Eva Medina) Ferdinand Medina said.

But not only lovers but evens nuns and priests led by Monsignor Abaya converged at the crossroads of Crisologo and Gen. Luna Streets to listen to the most awarded choral group probably in the world.

This would be second Christmas performance in Vigan in a row.

So it was a pleasant surprise that the Madz sang not only sacred but profane tunes.

The concert began with the singing of the doxology and national anthem sang by the Vigan's Children Choir.

The Madz started properly with their wonderful arrangement of the "Ama Namin" and followed by the Ilocano romantic classic, "Ti Ayat ti Maysa a Ubing."

Then they followed with a selection of folk tunes.like "Sitsiritsit Alibangbang" and "Pakitong-kitong." Then they sang "Ambango ng Bulaklak." The vocal gymnastics and bebop arrangement were so engaging that the double entendres were ignored.

These were followed by "Seaside Rendezvous" by the Queen and turned it into bebop with them turning into jazz instruments. They finished off the first part with the karaoke favorite "Bituing Walang Ningning."

The second part of the show was a serenade of Christmas songs like "Pasko Na Naman," "Deck the Halls", "Have Yourself a Merry Christmas."

It was the most ribald Filipino versions of "Christmas Tree" and "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer." The first is about a student making a tall Christmas tree in 1983 and climbed by a female classmate who was stuck on the branches without her underwear. A female professor tried to rescue her but she, too, was stuck. The Madz's version of Rudolph had him with a red nose and reddened balls chased by naughty girls.

We kept glancing guiltily at the nuns beside us but they were laughing like the rest of the audience.

Two encores of Christmas songs were given by the Madz before greeting Mayor Medina with a traditional birthday song.

The Madz later made up for their naughty songs by performing during the start of Simbang Gabi at the St. Paul Cathedral.

Merry Christmas to My Writer Friends

Merry Christmas to My Cat-and-Dog Friends

Merry Christmas to my Alcoholic Friends

Merry Christmas to My Marginalized Smoker Friends

Pickpocketing for Holidays

I found these in a Russian magazine which I think is very apt for all of us.

How-to: Own Holiday Toast

My first lucky recipient received this: May your YouTube videos be litigious and filled with jai-alai. Hey, create your own and have fun.

Bliss Xmas

Jim Ward, who calls himself "a role model for chubby but healthy vegetarians everywhere" will be cycling from Baguio to Manila on January 1 but before that Bliss Cafe will be holding a Christmas buffet on Dec. 22 and a showing of It's A Wonderful Life on Dec. 23 and Singing in the Rain on the 30th.

Let Unholyhours Help You with Your Shopping

Now You Know Why Only Baguio (and Sagada) Have Chimneys

Xmas Tree Minus Space

National Bookstore is selling one-sided Christmas trees which you can slam on the wall. Now here's a better idea if you have no room at the inn. The ceiling tree.

Now Bring Us Some Figgy Newtons

"Now bring us some figgy pudding. Now bring us some figgy pudding," the Madrigal Singers sang in Vigan last Sunday. "What's a piggy fooding," a local journalist asked me. Now, seriously. I wanted to sing, "Now bring us some Fig Newtons" because December 25 is the birthday of Sir Isaac Newton. You might say that is the birthday of Jesus but remember what some sects told you: that December 25 was chosen as His birthday through a papal bull. Meaning, it can be true of not true. But Newton is true and Dec 25 was his birthday.

Seuss, Pasko na Pala

Santa-Gram

Send this Santa-Gram
or this if you are in the Philippines

Naughty this XXXmas

The Worst Xmas Songs

From Fay to Z brought out this list of the worst Xmas Tunes (Also read this hilarious article from Baltimore Sun)

1. Feliz Navidad.
   
2. Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney. I’m a McCartney fan, but Christmas obviously brings out the worst in his songwriting. And his synths. Listening to this is like having pine needles inserted under the fingernails.
3. The entire Christina Aguilera Christmas album. Look, the girl can sing. But this record, which I was forced to sit through several Christmases ago, is a festering boil on the buttock of music.
   
4. Christmas Shoes by Newsong is, according to Observer features editor Kristin Askelson, who loves Christmas music, “the only Christmas song I HATE, HATE, HATE.”
   
5. A Spaceman Came Traveling. Chris DeBurgh is enough of a cretin for inflicting The Lady in Red on the world, but this dreck is almost as bad.
6. Little Saint Nick. I love the Beach Boys, but their music is summery, not Christmassy, and they ripped themselves off by aping Little Deuce Coupe here anyway.
7. Alvin & The Chipmunks. I’m sorry. I just can’t stand the voices.
8. These last three are courtesy of Observer Columnist Jim Pettit. They are the songs that make him “want to bloody Rudolph’s nose.” First up, Please Daddy, Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas by John Denver.
9. Carol of the Bells. “Any song with ‘Ding Dong’ in the lyrics has to be bad unless it’s ‘Ding, Dong The Witch Is Dead’ from the Wizard of Oz,” says Jim.
10. You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch. Jim reckons this may be the worst, “because I change stations any time it comes on.”
11. And I have to add, sorry to her constituents in Batangas, Vilma Santos's take on "I Saw Mommy Kissing San Ta Clawwws" I will find it in my files and inflict it to all of you.
    

Let's Send Christmas Cards By Mail

I passed by the Post Office and saw no queue. Ten years ago or earlier, there should have been a queue reaching the agoho trees outside. This made me depressed. So if you want to receive a Christmas card mailed from me, please text or email me. It may come late but we need to revive the tradition. Online cards are animated and witty but they smack of wham-bam! merryxmas-ma'am. Let's stoke the charcoals and roast the camotes. Take it nice and slow. Remember the time when you collect all the Christmas cards you received and decorate them on the tree? My mother still have the Christmas cards in the 1960s. You want to be remembered that way or you want to be erased just like that with the DELETE key. It's the thought that counts but the care you give to each card would be treasured. Join the club!

The Ukay-Ukay Christmas Tree