The War At Home March 27th, 2009

The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That’s no big problem—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke. But hold on—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: there are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter. As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China. Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings. Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout “China, Madam/Sir” loudly whenever they hear the word “Spratly.” They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, “Long live Chairman Mao!” at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that’s going a bit too far, at least for the time being.

The writer is Chip Tao. As in, Buffalo chip

Furuya

Books on Sale

Come to our first ever WORD FOR WORD fundraising book drive!

Sunday, March 22, 2009
Time:	10:00am - 6:00pm
Location:	Cafe by the Ruins
Street:	Chuntug Street
City/Town:	Baguio City, Philippines

Donated from the shelves of avid readers and book connoisseurs, the collection is bound to please the word-hungry! Great finds await you! Proceeds from WORD FOR WORD will go towards the BWG’s literary workshops! Our aim: to enable writers and teachers in the Cordilleras to teach, critique, and encourage young talents. Our dream: literary workshops held by new writers and teachers in their own languages and hometowns and their work published in the vernacular. We will continue to accept book donations as we plan to make WORD FOR WORD a regular event on the Baguio calendar. See you!

Blackberry vs Apple

Round 1:





Round 2:

Sitcom House Plans

The Dream Book

How refreshing to read this book online

Bb

You learn something every day. Last week, I slept in my cousin's room in Batac and so was able to read Yes! Magazine. Read Dr. Vicky and Hayden. Also Bb Gandanghari formerly Rustom Padilla. So what does Bb mean? She gave three. What are these?
a) Binibini
b) B flat. Not the boobs, ha. The music that comes with it
c) Brigitt Bardot. Her favorite even when she was still Rustom
d) Duck
e) Baby
f) Be what you wanna be: her motto
g) To be or not to be: her dillemma

A is easy. Answers on the comment

Chess Mind

So this is your brain when it is playing chess. What wasn't included are the idiots' minds thinking what are those crosses, dots, triangles, squares?

GQ's 20 Graphic Novels

Yes, Summer Blonde, Nightly News and Black Hole are included and five more I need to have. No Chris Ware and Lynda Barry. Boo!

Pacquiao the Dogeater

Stole this from Nashman

Media Obituary: The Preparation

If the question is whether newspapers can remake themselves into strong businesses adapted to the Internet Age, combining the past strengths of the news biz and their incredible brand recognition with the new power of the Internet, the answer is ‘maybe.’

The Accidental Mahal Sex Scandal

The Obama - PGMA Call

I just got this transcript of the call of President Obama to PGMA

Oh Bama: Hello
PGMA: Hello. Who's this?
Oh Bama: This is the POTUS
PGMA: Who?
Oh Bama: The President of the United States
PGMA: Obama?
Oh Bama: Hello
PGMA: (Hyperventilating)
Oh Bama: Hello. I have no time (Calling on Michelle's TFC One Minute $0.50 promo)
PGMA: Finally!
Oh Bama: I called regarding the VFA
PGMA: Oh yes, President. You want to extend it.
Oh Bama: I want to congratulate you on this endeavour.
PGMA: Pleasures all mine
Oh Bama: I saw the video on Just Jared.
PGMA: Ha?
Oh Bama: The VFA
PGMA: Yes.
Oh Bama: Video of the Five Artistic Gays
PGMA: Ha?
Oh Bama: What's the place? (Calls on the White House Chef) Libby's. The young gays from Libby's. You must be proud of them

You Know You're Filipino When You...But What if You're Not?

Then here's your guide:
You know you're Australian when...Canadian when...an Arab when...British when...Italian when...Japanese when...Chinese when...German when...Russian when...Dutch when...Spanish when...Brazilian when...Irish when... Kiwi when... Scottish when...South African when...Cambodian when... Greek when...Kenyan when...Libyan when...Iranian when... Japanese when...Kazakhi when... Estonian when...Papua New Guinean when...Korean when...Indian when...Israeli when... Lebanese when...Colombian when...Ecuadorian when... Kuwaiti when...Portuguese when... Hungarian when...Serbian when...Gibraltan when...Belgian when...French when... Bangladeshi when...Azerbaijani when...Moldovan when...Peruvian when...Chilean when...Uruguayan when...deep breath...Somalian when...Egyptian when...Moroccan when...Turkish when...Armenian when...Fijian when...Argentinian when...Vietnamese when...Jamaican when...Haitian when...Algerian when...Ugandan when ...Croatian when... Mozambiquan when... Mexican when...Afghani when... Nepalese when...Albanian when...Cyprian when...Latvian when...Ukrainian when..Polish when...Swedish when...Finnish when...Danish when...Icelandic when...Norwegian when... Singaporean when...Thai when...Taiwanese when...Tunisian when...Mauritian when...Panamanian when...Sri Lankan when...Eritrean when...Sudanese when...Swazilander when ...Tanzanian when... Swiss when...in Zambia when..

You know You're Ilocano Wen...Manong!

Comic Beats

Finally! Kerouac for Idiots

Cats in my Fruit Salad

No worry. No cats in the fruit salad or even siopao during the opening but come just the same.

Media on Wry

...But This One's Better

Bartman! Archenemy of evil, overachieving nemesis of the likes of The Penalizer, the sinister Canker and outerspace aliens as he protects the good citizens of Springfield.

Looking Out..

One Rule

Periodic Type

Nice fonts

Kewl

The Manifesto of Done

1. There are three states of being. Not knowing, action and completion.
2. Accept that everything is a draft. It helps to get it done.
3. There is no editing stage.
4. Pretending you know what you’re doing is almost the same as knowing what you are doing, so just accept that you know what you’re doing even if you don’t and do it.
5. Banish procrastination. If you wait more than a week to get an idea done, abandon it.
6.The point of being done is not to finish but to get other things done.
7. Once you’re done you can throw it away.
8. Laugh at perfection. It’s boring and keeps you from being done.
9. People without dirty hands are wrong. Doing something makes you right.
10. Failure counts as done. So do mistakes.
11. Destruction is a variant of done.
12. If you have an idea and publish it on the internet, that counts as a ghost of done.
13. Done is the engine of more.

The Cult of Done Manifesto by Bre Pettis and Kio Stark

Media and Political Crisis

Papers sought on the role of media during political crisis

The Asian Mass Communication Studies and Research Center (AMSAR), in association with The Foreign Correspondents Club of Thailand (FCCT), is calling for papers for a conference on the Roles of Media During Political Crisis. Papers should specifically address issues in Southeast Asian media.

Authors whose papers are accepted will be notified by early April. A preliminary conference program and details including registration and accommodation will also be posted on the AMSAR Web site in April.

Around 12 papers will be selected for inclusion in the publication of AMSAR's first e-journal, to be launched later this year.

For more information about the conference, click here or e-mail Oradol Kaewprasert at oradol@gmail.com.

Abstracts of no more than 250 words can be submitted via e-mail to Mana Kuntaraporn at Mana_jay@hotmail.com, no later than March 15.

Writing Workshop in Sagada

U.P. Baguio – N.C.C.A.

2 ^nd Cordillera

Creative Writing Workshop

April 27 – May 1, 2009 Sagada, Mountain Province

OPEN to aspiring young writers writing in any of the following Cordillera languages: Ibaloi, Kankanaey, Bontoc, Ifugao, Kalinga.

SUBMIT the following:

1. Original and unpublished works with translation: either three (3) poems or one (1) short story

2. Application letter

3. Endorsement from a supervisor (teacher, school paper adviser or institution head)

4. A brief curriculum vitae

ENTRY packet format: hard copy and soft file copy in CD sealed in a long brown envelope, sent or delivered to:

2^nd Cordillera Creative Writing Workshop

College of Arts and Communication

University of the Philippines Baguio

Gov. Pack Road, Baguio City 2600

DEADLINE of submission of entries:

March 27, 2009, 2 P.M.

GRANT covers board, lodging and transportation back and forth

U.P. Baguio – Sagada, Mountain Province

PANELISTS

Priscilla Supnet Macansantos

Francis Macansantos

Herminio Beltran, Jr.

LECTURERS

Elizabeth Lolarga

Victor Emmanuel Nadera

Ventura Bitot

Be ONE of the 20 FELLOWS!

Telefax (074) 444 83 93

Email junleylazaga@yahoo.com.ph

Single Ladies of Libis

This is better than the SNL version. Thanks to Nashman

Sacada

My grandfather went to Hawaii as a sacada

Media Obit 5

Gone to Online Heaven

Seattle P-I, my newspaper. Oh well, when your boss is Hearst, the funeral is just behind you

Oh no, ReadyMade as well

Media Obituary III: Francis M is Dead

Francism is dead! Our politically-correct old-school rapper is dead. Heard about rumors of his death years ago. Now it's sure because two of my FB friends said so.
Oh yeah, the media.
Richard Tann is long dead. He is the guy who sang the Hallmark Jingle (Those Hallmark memories of yesterday. No one throws away memories). Now Hallmark Magazine is also dead.
Worth is dead. (Nice photo of the child avatar)

Reason for death of the day:
"You know, you talk about – one talks about the kind of value of news gathering, of reporting that happens at these newspapers. But a newspaper is much more than just a venue for producing hard news stories. It’s a physical bundle of paper that bundles together stories of all different kinds – weather reports, sports coverage, arts, book reviews, movie reviews. And there’s a particular logic to assembling that kind of bundle, but it’s an economic logic that has to do with the economics of printing and distributing pieces of paper and it’s not logic that really makes sense in the present world." Steve Coll, CEO of the New America Foundation and a staff writer for The New Yorker. More here

Media Obituary Part II

Sleepless in Seattle Newspapers. The soon-to-die Seattle PI discusses
And then of course the Rocky Mountain Horror Show
Also, you have to pay for Newsday and San Fran Chronicle
And America's favorite gossip columnist Liz Smith was dropped by the New York Post. Hey. time to drop Kasukalsukaldito and Boy "Inner Ugliness" Abunda

The Media Obituary Progress Report Part 1

R.I.P.

Arena Magazine
Jersey Journal

Preparing for their Exit:

Ebony
Allure

Today's Reason for Media Death

David Brill: The press is “committing suicide by giving journalism away for free” on the internet.

Hey, Still Following American Idol?

Good, Because I Stopped Three Weeks Ago. Next topic. Sleepless in Seattle to be turned into a musical. Good, I pass.

Explain

Slumdog Millionaire Meets Chuck Norris Meets Lito Lapid

so Tamil and so Pinoy

Making Erap Cry

Calvin and Hung

Before you go on saying that this is the root of Chinese duplicity in manufacturing and information technology, just think of this as a harmless tribute.

Baguio Minute 8

The Baguio City Market was destroyed by a dawn fire March 2. This is the section where you buy your jams, vegetables and strawberries. And also your rolling paper because the tobacco section at the back was also gutted by the three-hour fire. The fire costs almost P30 million but more importantly, this is the original stone market. So history went down in flames. The Panagbenga parade finally ended. It was more of the same, except more tourists including US Amb Kristie Kenney, Joseph Estrada and the tallest man of Pakistan who was in the Philippines for an operation and was being fleeced by his promoters who are charging per picture. The notable floats was that of the Marinduque Province (giant moriones and moriones as guards) and the PNP floats with the cops in g-strings. Ogie Alcasid and other artistas were in the Lhullier Pawnshop float which goes to show you that the only people making money right now are the pawnshops, indeed. BenCab opened his museum in Asin last Feb. 27. This is a must-see for all you dilettantes. Kenney was here to help Cordilelra vets get their measly lump sum and for the solarization of lamps along Burnham. An intelligence officer was found shot inside his car at Coyeesan Mall last Sunday. The mall was where most police officers have their badminton practice.

I'm Walken on Air and other Gifs

Freddy Mercury on bananas, toilet dive and the exploding eyeball!!

Media Douchebags

Might as Well