pine for pine: December 2009

New Year Tips

Greetings!

Merry Christmas

Why are Filipinos

Did this to Google (typed "Why are Filipinos..) and then you get an automatic scroll below it:
Why are Filipinos poor? got 8.8M results
Why are Filipinos ugly? got only 176,000 results
Why are Filipinos short? got 11.7M results while "Why are Filipinos so short?" got 810,000 results
Why are Filipinos lazy? got half a million search results
Why are Filipinos worth dying for? got only 82,100
But the good news?
Why are Filipinos happy? got the highest results with 13.7M

High Chair and the Maguindanao Massacre

Call for submissions for the second installment of High Chair 12

How could poetry be written/art be made so that it has value to the Maguindanao Massacre?

Or, if art is an inadequate response—offering no sufficient answers, effecting no significant change, if not trivializing horror in the service of aesthetic exercise—is no response the only generous response? Should art even be asked for a reply?

We are inviting poets and artists everywhere to submit responses to these questions and/or the responses published in the first installment. We are interested in poems (whether old or new, unpublished or previously published) that offer ways of thinking about terror, horror, and other pertinent ideas/terms. We are interested in essays and reviews that examine the role and state of Philippine poetry and art in the context of the Maguindanao Massacre.

We recognize the need to engage with the Maguindanao Massacre and to ensure, through an ongoing discussion, that the event remains current and urgent. Thus, High Chair 12 is a work in progress, with content uploaded by installment, from mid-December to mid-February. The deadlines for submission for possible inclusion in the next three installments of High Chair 12 are December 31, 2009, January 15, 2010, and January 30, 2010.

We welcome submissions in Filipino and English. Please send no more than five pages of poetry. There is no page limit for essay contributions. Email your submissions or queries to highchair@gmail.com (subject heading: High Chair Issue 12).

Feel free to circulate this call for submissions to other interested parties. Thank you.

Conchitina Cruz and Adam David (Issue Editors)

Picture Stories

Sexist Ads? Frisky Said So

The Word for Today is Parnel

Adam Jacob de Boinod emailed me about his new book, The Wonder of Wiffling. Of course, you would ask, Who? What is whiffling? Of course. De Boinod wrote "The Meaning of Tingo" which I finally got hold of last year. This is about words from other countries which should be used by all because they are so accurate. In his blog, he wrote: "Most of us know a blatteroon , a person who will not stop talking, not to mention a wallydrag, a worthless, slovenly person, and even a shot-clog, a drinking companion, only tolerated because he pays for the drinks." I love that word, shot-clog, because they are so common in my city. Now what about parnel? It means the mistress of a priest. Hey, you might say. Why didn't coin one ourselves when we had too many of these, parnels I mean. O yes. And then researching for parnel, I stumbled upon a nice site.

Brain on the Sistine?

Hmmmm. Makes you think

Banksy's Warning

They found three other new Banksy graffiti

The Top Viral Videos of 2009

Full list of featured videos below:

1. This Guy Is Basically The Best Guy, May 8
2. You Are On Cocaine, February 18
3. That's Your Boyfriend: California Raisin Face Paint Guy, October 13
4. That's Your Girlfriend: Cat Massage Lady, August 18
5. Mark Gormley, "Little Wings," January 13
6. Alright, Jeez, Kittens Inspired By Kittens (Scream), February 12
7. The 10th Annual Gathering Of The Juggalos Infomercial, July 22
8. A Brave California Woman Solves All The Problems, July 24
9. I Call Dibs On Adopting This Kid, February 19
10. Keenan The Lip Syncing Kid Shows Up Live On Chicago Weather Show, March 19
11. Leon's Boss Plays Him Like A Punk, July 13
12. Pro-Tip: Newscasters, Use Your "Fucks" Wisely, September 17
13. Costume Shop Lady Hijacks Local News Interview (Must Watch), April 9
14. Bangs "Take U To Da Movies," October 26
--14a. Kids Humiliate You On The Dance Floor The Darndest Things, July 10
--14b. In Defense Of Spring Break Mom, March 17
--14c. That's Your Boyfriend: Nosferatu Dances To Lady Gaga, May 20
--14d. Rangersss Get Superr Duperr Jerk, September 3
--14e. The Very Best Pumpkin Head Halloween Dance Of All Time In The World, October 29
15. Forgotten Assholes Of History: The "Your Business Card Is Crap" Guy, April 9
16. David After Dentist, February 3
17. Keyboard Cat, 2009

After "Pasko Na Sinta Ko," Here's Other Christmas Songs to Make You Cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGdrMOttV_s

Boing Boing's 100-Word Fiction Contest

By Thought Grime:

We'll go no more a-roving, the immortal words of Byron,
the tattered moon is out of bounds since they brought back the pylon.
Loudly, since the probe returned, the scientists implored,
Daedelus offered secrets that could never be ignored.
Eight months they argued who was best to undertake the study,
to clean the wretched thing because it was so freakin' cruddy.
Finally they started to remove the dense, moon-sand,
excruciatingly because they cleaned it all by hand.
At last the pylon stood revealing secrets from afar,
all Earth was still as they were read, the English words; "We Are".

The rest of the finalists here

Blondie's Three Kings

Ordinary News Made Weird

Misa de Gallo

Many years ago, I had a friend (basketball teammate) who had a crush on our neighbor. She is from Mangaldan, fair and pretty. My friend is dark but not really that dark but he felt he is really dark and so conscious about it. That's why they call him "Beggang" which means "ember." He gets irritable when he was reminded of his darkness. Anyway, I sometimes accompany him to the boarding house where the girl stayed. I can't remember her face now but I do remember they have a stuffed piranha in their sala. Anyway, my friend is getting desperate so he went into a desperate mission: attend the Misa de Gallo till the end and hoped that he gets the girl. In other words, I attended the mass with him. Not really bad because the SLU chapel is so very near and back then they had a loud speaker to hark the people one and all to go to mass by blaring Christmas songs before the start. It starts at 5 AM so imagine the irritation on all of us. So we attended every freaking MDG that year and then every student had to go home to their provinces usually a week before Christmas but he had to stay and finish the whole Misa de Gallo. He stayed in Aringay, La Union so it's very near Baguio and had to concoct a school project so his parents wouldn't nag him. He and I finished the mass. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. A week before Valentines, he got the answer: No way. Then the clincher: But I think I like your friend. We didn't talk or play basketball for a month and I didn't take advantage of the girl's offer because that's how basketball friendship was. Respect and all that crap. Three years ago, I got a Christmas card from my friend. I think it was one of the last cards I ever received. SLU didn't bother to blare Christmas songs anymore and I don't know anyone in the neighborhood who go to MDG anymore.

The Showdown (Mraz vs Beatles)

Two Asians. Very very young. One in diapers. Two guitars (actually one is a ukelele). One sings the other kinda sings. One picks his nose in the middle of his performance (actually twice).