Part III: Gucci-Gucci Coup

Part III of CW (aka Mel Orlina) report:

PGMA. Winner. Evil. Bitch. Ingrate. Medusa. Galema. And these are just some of the flattering adjectives heaped on this Teflon president. Stick and stones may hurt her bones, but last time we checked (March 16, 2008 4:30 pm), she is still the President of the country. Happily hopscotching on the grounds of Malacanang via her Unity Walks with the governors, mayors, students, barangay tanods, security guards, nightclub bouncers, and the transvestites of Makati Avenue. To this, Gloria can only say : "Isaksak mo sa baga mo Joe De V., at mamatay ka sa inggit Erap."

Print Ads Supporting PGMA. Losers. Funny that those expensive full-page ads supporting GMA mushroomed only AFTER the crucial inter-faith rally. These seguristas waited to see the full effect (which is nil, by the way) of the much ballyhooed rally before showing their support. And the ads are getting weirder and weirder by the day. From an obscure mayor of a forgotten town in Abra to the tricycle driver's association of Malolos, Bulacan. Please! Trees gave up their lives to have those precious papers printed.

The Inquirer. Loser. A Tabloid pretending to be a Broadsheet. No offense meant to tabloids, of course. At least, tabloids are cheaper, and they have Dear Xerex. While the Inquirer has sensationalism, bias-ness, yellow journalism, and Dolly Ann Carvajal. Enough said.

The Philippine Star. Loser. For having all those pseudo-writers in its stable. Especially those "lifestyle, entertainment, and fashion writers (read: The Gucci Gang and Butch Francisco)" whose only qualification is their connection to the publisher.

The Manila Bulletin. Winner - Loser. CW calls this the autistic newspaper. May sariling mundo. While most local newspapers would have the same headline (ex. ZTE scandal or Inter-faith rally), the Manila Bulletin's headline is about the arrival of some African head of state. They say Ignorance is Bliss, but this is overdoing it. CW wouldn't be surprised if there would be a tsunami today at the Manila Bay, and Bulletin's headline tomorrow would be about the 100th anniversary celebration of GSIS.

Jamby Madrigal. Loser. Is there a cure for verbal diarrhea? This woman has the rare ability to consistently embarrass not only herself but the institution she represents. The senate seat that rightfully belongs to Judy Ann Santos is now being occupied by this Miriam-wannabe. And what a mess she is doing. While Sen. Santiago is as volatile, at least Miriam has the brains, the articulateness, and the legs for the people to forgive, smile, and look the other way.

But there is hope for Jamby. Once in a rare while, she can mouth relevant statements too. To Sen. Pia Cayetano, she admonished: " instead of doing marathon, cycling, triathlon, synchronized swimming, sepak-takraw,and tumbang-preso….. e mag-trabaho ka sa senado." Or something to that effect. Winner!

Stock Market. Loser. From a high of 3,800 points last year to 2,800 points last week. CW has been losing sleep over the fate of the meager investments it made culled from CW's pathetic Christmas Bonus last year, puny Annual Merit Increase last January and Vacation Leave commutation in February.

Please, dear patron saint of stock markets, make the Philippine stock performance bullish again. That investment is meant for an out of the country vacation this September. At the rate the stock market is going, CW's dream vacation will not happen in Bhutan, but in Hinulugang Tak-tak, Antipolo.