Tuesday, January 15, 2008

More Pinoy Buzzwords

I combed the Internet for Pinoy buzzwords and almost came out emptyhanded. Where are the clever Marcos admen when you need them? Dead or retired. I mean, Pinoys still consider convergence and synergy as buzzwords in 2008? Maybe you don’t even know who Rip Van Winkle was. Here are some of the gems I got though (red highlight means my coinage):

1) Spiderability. This is used to maximize your Internet presence and site visitors so you can earn from Adsense, for example. Good luck. Also gagambuoyancy
2) ZamPen. This is a nice coinage of Zamboanga Peninsula. The site said that this would be the new destination of “culture, adventure and nature.” A melting pot of races, Zamboanga Peninsula (ZamPen) boasts of a diverse mix of living cultures of Subanens, Yakans, Tausugs, Bajaus, Samals, as well as Chabacanos.
3) Nananakam which means “craving” in Filipino, can also be used for a inner hunger that is unnecessary but has to be fed. Important for Fil-Ams
4) Diamond statement. I encountered this a few months ago about a white paper linking Ping Lacson to destabilization moves on the government. So a diamond statement is any spurious document trying hard to be hard fact.
5) Unanotechnology. Credit this to Padma. Refers to nanotechnology but with a twist. It refers to a country wallowing in Third World status because its R&D is short-sighted or just short of cash. Another possible definition: technology catering to the vertically-challenged. Something like condoms of the right size naman or urinals that only Manute Bol can use.
6) Miskol. The obligatory buzzword. Winner of the Salita ng Taon 2007. Pinoy for missed call but texters often use “miscol” not “miskol”
7) Surrogacy. This is the new frontier for outsourcing. You get a sperm and egg from a couple and let it stay in a Pinay womb. In India, they get paid for $4,000 but foreign couples want Pinays because they are caring and eat less-spicy food.
8) Regalian doctrine. The doctrine from Regal chief Mother Lily Monteverde that movies should cater to the taste of the Pinoys not movies uplifting the taste of the Pinoys. This doctrine like the original Regalian doctrine is a legal fiction and caused the death of Pinoy movies.
9) Ulolcats. From the cute Lol cats but this refers to the not-so-cute cats and none-cats who actually text and write like lolcats with the same not-cute grammar mistakes (“I has chizburger” is cute to a fat Siamese cat but not to an 18-year-old gangsta from Tondo)
10) KKK-SSS-LLL. Refers to the “Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo” and its sequel “Sakal, Sakali, Saklolo,” both topgrossers of the Metro Manila Film Festival. It tells about a young couple through married life. Because the title plays on K, S and L. The next movie has to be: Lakas, Lakasa, Likas. It shows the macho image of the man crumbling as he realizes he is a lakasa or a closet gay and so he has to leave (likas).

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