A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink and sits down: Joke Inspired by Wrong Number Below

Then the bartender sees this guy talking to his hand.
Perplexed, the bartender tells the guy to stop talking to his hand.
"But I got a cell phone implanted in my hand!" Sure enough, the guy has a phone implanted in his hand.
"Well, put it away before you get beaten up," says the bartender.
This guy finishes his drink and goes to the restroom. When he doesn't come out, the bartender gets worried and goes looking for this guy.
He finds him in the restroom with a toilet paper roll shoved up his ass.
"I told you," says the bartender.
"Oh, I'm fine," says the guy, "just waiting for a fax!"
And sure enough....