Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Iron or Bat

The age-old debate: Batman vs. Iron Man. Iron Man fan's turn:
• Can he make his own gadgets without having to go run for help to daddy's company?
• Can he let girls do their make-up while they look at his shiny armor? (of course not, Mr Wayne has a fake rubber suit with fake nipples)
• Can he make perfect Margaritas, Martinis and Manhattans on his own, without needing Alfred?
• Can he fly? (No, not fall, I mean fly)
• Can he actually have a bit of fun or is this all about looking miserable, fighting with your demons in three-word sentences with almost no verbs? (Of course he can't. It's "Back in the hole. The beast. The beast comes to me. Old. Old and dark. I feel his breath. Evil. Evil and dark. Evil and dark and eternal. Like them. Like me" all the damn time. Damnit Bruce, get a vacation in a tropical island with a hot buxom blonde and a fully-stocked bar.)

Because if Batman actually enjoyed life in-between saving the World city, he would be the greatest international playboy gadget hero ever. You know, like Tony Stark. And kick his own ass any day.


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