Loser

I lost my 1G flash drive and I felt like my memory also. Had six books in there and countless photos. It seemed like I downloaded part of my brain into that white Made in China memory stick but now that I'm missing I can recall what is inside. All thsoe movies about memories (Memento, Eternal Sunshine, all those early Sharon Cuneta flicks) are about memory loss. Why can't we make a movie about memories that don't go away. That stick with you like barnacles? Forgetting is so long but once you forget, it's comforting. I wrote an essay ten eyars ago when i was still brilliant about William Gibson, Internet and Borges's Funes the Memorious tackling about the same thing. The curse of having a memory that won't forget will make you progeric. I have not opened my dozens of floppy discs. God knows what happened to those bigger and thinner discs. My notebooks I burn. Some of my better notebooks were stolen. And yet I still know what I wrote in some of them. That is why when I love a certain poem. I write them over and over. Yes, like those Baguio writers Butch Dalisay mentioned as having lovely handwriting, I, too, can have good penmanship if I wanted to. I wrote all those Neruda, Rilke, Frost and Williams in longhand and I can remember them well because I had such a great time putting them into paper. Keyboards are joyless.