Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Dirty Shakespeare

A researcher by the highly-accentuated name of Héloïse Sénéchal used computer techniques to uncover double entendres in Shakespeare's work. She said that previously innocent words such as carrot, pencil and horn were the Bard's terms for penis, while pie, fruit dish and 'buggle boe' were references to the vagina.
An example that The Standard gave is Midsummer Night's Dream.
Act 5, scene 1. Flute, playing Thisbe in the mechanicals' play, laments that a wall separates 'her' from her lover, Pyramus:

Flute: O wall, full often hast thou heard my moans

For parting my fair Pyramus and me.

My cherry lips have often kissed thy stones, [meaning either mortar or testicles]

Thy stones with lime [puns on 'limb', ie penis] and hair [plays on sense of 'pubic hair'] knit up in thee

A few lines later, Thisbe tries to kiss Pyramus, but cries: I kiss the wall's hole [gap/anus], not your lips at all!

I was on a bus to Ilocos Sur and weird because the bus had been showing a Spanish film in tis entirety and the students (most of the passengers) were watching maybe out of habit. After the movie ended near Balaoan, it was changed to Romeo & Juliet with Di Caprio and Danes.

Here's Senechal's take on R+J:
Here are examples from Romeo and Juliet (II, iv)

Mercutio O here's a wit [penis] of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad [45in, or a large penis]!

Romeo I stretch it out for that word 'broad'; which added to the goose [whore] proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

Mercutio Why, is not this better now than groaning [sexually] for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature: for this drivelling [dripping] love is like a great natural, that runs lolling [with tongue or penis out] up and down to hide his bauble [fool's baton or penis] in a hole [vagina].

Benvolio Stop [cease or stuff it in] there, stop there

Here's the most Adobe'd Asian kid in history:

After reading this.

And this is what I will do to the one who changed my password


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