Thursday, January 12, 2006

Ayaw Patalo. Mr. T

Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.

One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.

The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure.

Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.

Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference however, is to walk on fools.

Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.

Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

Google won't search for Mr. T because it knows you don't find Mr. T, he finds you.

The only thing to survive a nuclear holocaust would be Mr. T and cockroaches - Mr. T does not like cockroaches... for that reason and that reason alone Russia and the USA agreed to reduce their nuclear arsenal.

The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.

When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.

Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.

Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.

Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.

Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T was not beat by Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III. He actually lost to Stallone's stuntman, Chuck Norris. It took 5 hours of work by a dozen makeup artists to make Chuck Norris ugly enough to be a believable Stallone. Even with Chuck Norris, it was still necessary to use 3 metric tons of animal traquilizers to knock Mr. T out long enough for a 10 count.

Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.

Mr. T wears brass knuckles because he fears the consequences of hitting someone with his bare fists.

The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white rhino and two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo.


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