Friday, September 05, 2008

Thou Shalt Conos

The Ten Conyo–mandments
by Gerry Avelino and Arik Abu

1. Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa"

"Let's make pasok na to our class!"
"Wait lang! I'm making kain pa!"
"Come on na, we can't make hintay anymore!"

2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "di ba" and "eh" in your pangungusap

"I don't like to make lakad in the baha nga, noh? Eh di ba it's like, so ewww, di ba?
"What ba? Stop nga being maarte noh!"
"Eh as if you want naman also, di ba?

3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It's SO pang–uri!"

"It's so malaki, you know, and so mainit!"
"I know right? So sarap nga eh!"
"You're making me inggit naman, I'll make bili nga my own burger."

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", "tsong" or "pare"

"Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare." -
(mikey: ENGANAL = Engineering Analysis in DLSU, FYI.)
"I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh."

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!

"My bag is so bigat today, you know."
"I know, right! We have to make dala pa kase the jumbo Physics book eh!"

6. Make gawa the plural of pangalans like in English or Spanish

"I have so many tigyawats, oh!"

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always like. Like, I know right?

"Like it's so init naman!"
"Yeah! The air–con, it's like sira kase eh!"

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?

"Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?"
"It's so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"

9. Make gamit of plenty of abbreviations, you know, daglat?

"Like OMG! It's like traffic sa EDSA."
"I know, right? It's so kaka!"

10. Make gamit the pinakamarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!

"I'm like, making aral at the Arrhneow!"
"Me naman, I'm from Lazzahl!"


Blogger The Nashman said...

I still prefer swardspeak. Swardspeak requires more brains to master.

1:28 AM  
Anonymous Bobby said...

Super damn gleng-gleng, huh? Will need this sa aking dic, as in dictionary.

8:22 PM  
Blogger frank cimatu said...

like, why not parang para saan ba. i mean, for what?

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like parang hindi ka nag-LAZZAH frank Cimatu, u know. O diba? It so cute, u know. Haller! Nanjan ka pa bah? O me pa-denial effect ka pah!

Ako nag-graduate yata "kahit Masters lang" kaya LAZZAH din ako. noh! you know. O pa-cute pa siguro ako.

Pero i hate Conyospeak, searspeak o whateverspeak. straight as always, i am. Really.

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Alfonso Corpuz said... is my BLOG AREA franklin - Alfonso

2:33 PM  
Blogger frank cimatu said...

alfonso, friendster ka pa rin? rurog ka talaga

9:51 AM  

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