Sunday, July 20, 2008

Khaos is Retarded?

I got this from Nash who got it from Cracked's Six Retarded Gas Saving Schemes (that People are Actually Trying) :

Khaos Super Turbo Charger

What is it?
This is a device developed back in the 1970s by some dude in the Philippines who felt that America shouldn't have the market cornered on scamming people. Basically, it's a metal valve, with the very impressive words "Super Turbo Charger" nicely engraved on it. As you can see by the picture, unlike some of the products out there, this thing actually looks like it could do something, in the way that most hookers look like they don't have an STD.

What's it supposed to do?
Basically this thing is supposed to put your car on a gasoline diet. Apparently all cars are using way too much gas. The Khaos supposedly changes the mixture of the gas and air so that the car will burn more air and less gas. Up to half as much according to them.

Inside the metal tube is a spring which is supposed to regulate the air/gas mixture, turning your bloated car from a donut-munching couch potato into a lean fuel-efficient triathlete, minus the ridiculous spandex.

Even more amazing though is that the maker claims it will reduce pollution from your car by 100 percent. The inventor also says he has turned down millions of dollars from Western companies for the patent because then Filipinos would not be able to afford it. Oh, and also it doesn't work at all.

What will it really do?
This device will do exactly what it says it will do. It will actually change the fuel/air mixture in your car. Awesome! You know what else can change the fuel/air mixture in your car? Something we like to call, the engine.

In modern cars, the car's computers and sensors will take care of all that for you. Not surprisingly, they will do a much better job of it than this thing. What this actually does is choke off gas from entering the engine, making it knock and ping and generally run like shit.

As for the claim that it reduces pollution? When installed the device actually creates about three times the pollution that a car without the device produces (that's what happens when you fuck up the way the engine was designed to run). We think this means that it doesn't work.

So why do people buy this thing and swear by it? One reason may be that the makers tell you that you need to give your car a tune up before installing the device. So it's like a diet pill where the directions say you should take it with a glass of water and then run five miles. You'll get results, but probably could have skipped the pills.


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