Friday, February 15, 2008

Albuquerque in Bohol Where They Tell Me You're Shy, Boy

After Chocolate Hills and the Loboc River Cruise, we went to Upper Santa Fe in Albuquerque. I love Bohol. They have town names like Sevilla, Carmen, Valencia, Antequera and Anda, old names in Spain. Albuquerque is, of course, New Mexico's famous city. "Abu-ke-ke," a Boholano said to draw laughter but I liked it better than the American "albekerkay." The attraction in this quaint town is a python which is said to be the longest. The Coke billboard said "The World's longest python in captivity" which is more accurate and more chilling (There are bigger ones OUT THERE). A few meters from the billboard, we were made to pay P10. Ms. Llamoso of GMA shrieked at the thought that we were really going and said that she will not leave the van. She was thinking of the pythons they place on your shoulder.
The caged snake was unusually active in that rainy afternoon. "The name is Brownie," said the gay snakecharmer. Badong (being media, someone among us learned that his real name is Eustaquio from Mizamis Oriental) was wearing a white sarong with large gumamela prints. He imitated how the python flicks its tongue. He ullulated, "Beeeeehliiiiindahhh" to the python and Brownie raised its head. "The snake was found in October 21, 1996 and only five feet and five kilos," Badong said in a droning voice, which meant he had memorized this thing like his ATM password. So we interrupted and interrupted until Badong asked, You want me to perform?
Badong has a stage nearby with large plastic flowers. He has a CD player with original (!) CDs of Celine Dion, Gloria Estefan and others.
He performed Estefan's "1-2-3" with that famous "1-2-3-4 Come on Baby Say You Love Me" chorus. He did cartwheels and swung on the high beam. In other words, Badong was the real star attraction of the whole python thing and I can no longer listen to Estefan without Badong in mental MTV.
We only learned that the python's name is Prony and in 2005, he was already 23 feet long. He weighed 200 kilos.
Badong I think was carrying the whole "bakla sa perya" tradition but I now believe he's the twin sister of Prony. The python is female. "Baka third sex," Badong said. Hmmm. It used to eat chicken but it now eats pigs. Its feeding time is at the end of the month and Badong does the feeding. Postscript: We were having breakfast with the governor and I was seated beside the provincial tourism officer. Someone mentioned the Albuquerque thing and she said. We don't encourage the snake show. It smacked of animal cruelty. Oh no
Someone later told me that before the shift from chicken to pig, they fed him dogs. The British led by Nash complained.
Photos taken by Maida (that's her with Prony. She used my laptop to download her photos) of PLCPD


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