Seen These?

Your shoes are made of cement and you have reached bottom

Wankette 22: Survey

SENATORIAL VOTING PREFERENCES
April 21 - 25, 2007 / Philippines
(Multiple Response, up to 12 names allowed)

1. LEGARDA, Loren B. GO (59.6) 1
2-4. ESCUDERO, Francis Joseph “Chiz” G. GO (47.2)
2-4 VILLAR, Manuel "Manny" Jr. B. GO (47.0)
2-4. LACSON, Panfilo “Ping” M. GO (43.9)
5-12. PANGILINAN, Francis “Kiko” N. Ind (38.8)
5-12. CAYETANO, Alan Peter “Hello, FG” S. GO (38.2)
5-12. HONASAN, Gregorio "Gringo" B. Ind (35.7)
5-12. AQUINO, Benigno Simeon III “Noynoy” C. GO (35.5)
5-12. RECTO, Ralph “Vilma” G. TU (35.4)
5-12. ANGARA, Edgardo “Ed” J. TU (35.2)
7-14. ARROYO, Joker P. TU (33.4)
7-14. ZUBIRI, Juan Miguel “Migz” F. TU (32.0)
11-15. PIMENTEL, Aquilino “Koko” L. GO (30.1 )
11-17. SOTTO, Vicente "Sliding" III C. TU (29.2 )
13-18. ROCO, Sonia “Inang Guro” M. GO (27.1)
14-20. DEFENSOR, Michael "Sorry Po, Lolo Chavit" T. TU (25.6)
14-20. OSMEÑA, John Henry "Handsome Boys" R. GO (25.1)
15-21. PICHAY, Prospero “Bury Me” Jr. A. TU (24.0 )
16-21. MAGSAYSAY, Vicente “Will I Die" P. TU (22.8)
16-21. TRILLANES, Antonio "Dumalo Naman Kayo" IV F. GO (22.0)
18-21. MONTANO, Cesar “Extra” M. TU (20.8)
22-24. GOMEZ, Richard “Perfect Marriage” I. Ind (14.1)
22-24. COSETENG, Anna Dominique “Losing Money Fast” M. GO (13.7 )
23-25. SINGSON, Luis “Hey, I Climbed Two Points” C. TU (11.2)
24-25. ORETA, Teresa "Tao Pa ba Ako" A. TU (10.3)
26. CHAVEZ, Melchor “Chavitz” G. KBL
27-30. CAYETANO, Joselito “Good for Friendster” P. KBL (3.9)

Wankette 21: The Song and Dance

The elections also put a toll on the various festivals in the country.
Many of the dancers who used to grace these festivals are making bigger money as dancers of politicians during this campaign.
Copying the style of Ilocos Sur Gov. Luis "Chavit" Singson who had his "Chavit Angels" who have been campaigning with him since 2004, many of the politicians here also made their own "angels."
In Agoo, La union, for example, mayoral candidate Tess Dumpit has her "Tess Dumpit Girls" in skimpy shorts to while away the long speeches while her brother also has her own "Butch Tak Tak Girls" for his congressional bid.
The Binanbatan Festival here, which features streetdancers wearing the colorful inabel (Ilocos weave), attracted 10,000 tourists and residents who lined up the cobble-stoned streets amid the sun.
The problem was that there were fewer participants this year because of the rigors of campaign season.
Vigan Mayor Ferdinand Medina said that they had about 14 participants who said they woudl participant, up from 12 last year.
"Then as the weeks passed by, the number went down to seven," said Medina of the 15-year-old Viva Vigan Festival which is being sponsored by Smart Telecommunications.
"They said that their local government units have no money left for their appearance or that the dancers were used for the elections," he said.
Medina said that their activity anyway is politics-free and the campaigning politicians were shooed away from the event.
The lack of participants, however, was compensated by the better quality presented this year.
"Many of the participants have made it their pledge to join every year despite the cost," he said.
The University of Northern Philippines romped off with the grand prize with their colorful gypsy rendition of the binatbatan or the dance made from the traditional cotton ginning (removal of seeds).
Medina said that attending the invitational streetdancing cost money and some towns decided to forego extra expenses during the campaign season.

Wankette 20: Chavit vs. Defensor

Ilocos Sur Gov. Luis "Chavit" Singson, who is running for administration under the Team Unity would not confirm a local radio report here that he asked his fellow Ilocanos to junk fellow TU senatorial bet Michael Defensor for suggesting that one of the TU lagging in the survey would have to make way for Gringo Honasan.
Singson was heard on DZRS Commando Radio, a radio station which he allegedly owns, as saying that Defensor should be the one who should be junked but he refused to comment on it in a telephone interview.
Instead, he said that the Confederation of Ilocano Associations, which supposedly had 2.3 members nationwide, would instead exclude Defensor in their ballots on May 14.
The CIA, which is headed by martial arts expert Roger Wanasen, will do the formal announcement Sunday, Singson said.
"He sent feelers," Singson said of Defensor, "but I do not want to talk to him."
"Instead I decided to campaign alone. It is faster that way," he said.
Singson said that he just came from a four-day campaign trek in Mindanao.
"What is the point of calling us, "Team Unity" when they wanted to break us," he said.
Singson pointed to former presidential spokesman Defensor as the one who suggested that those TU senatorial candidates who are lagging in the survey should give way to former Sen. Honasan.
Wanasen said that he asked his fellow Ilocanos to rally behind Singson and junk Defensor.
"They should not do this to our fellow Ilocano," Wanasen, one of the masters of the Yaw-Yan Martial Arts.
He said that the CIA is composed of such umbrella organizations as United Ilocanos, Full Blooded Ilocanos, Genuine Ilocanos and others.
The Northern Alliance, composed of House members from Northern Luzon and those tracing their roots to Ilocos, was behind the candidacy of Singson.
Singson, however, is faltering in the Social Weather Station survey, ranked from 24th to 25th.
Others in the TU slate with an outside chance of winning include Jamalul Kiram. Teresa Oreta and Vicente Magsaysay.
Singson said that he is unfazed with the survey results, taking hope in Sen. Jamby Madrigal, who was also faltering in the survey a few weeks before the 2004 elections but zoomed to the Top 5 in the final results.
Singson is counting on the nomadic Ilocanos who are spread througout the archipelago.
People in Vigan still believe that Chavit would eventually replace Deogracias Savellano in the gubernatorial race if the horizon is indeed dimming.
But his cousin, Rep. Eric Singson said that this is no longer possible.
And indeed, the junking has started. I already received two text messages calling for the Ilocano support of Chavit and the junking of Defensor. Hala!

Vigan Boys

Weightlessness

What I would like to experience most of all would be to find myself freed, even if only for a moment, from the weight of my body. I wouldn't want to overdo it—just to hang suspended for a reasonable period—and yet I feel intensely envious of those weightless astronauts whom we are permitted to see all too rarely on our TV screens. They seem as much at ease as fish in water: they move elegantly around their cockpit—these days quite spacious—propelling themselves forward by pushing gently off invisible walls, and sailing smoothly through the air to berth securely at their work place. At other times we have seen them conversing, as if it were the most natural thing—one of them 'the right way up', the other 'upside down' (but of course in orbit there is neither up nor down). Or we have seen them take turns to play childish games: one flicks a toffee with his thumbnail, and it flies slowly and in a perfectly straight line into the open mouth of his colleague. We have seen an astronaut squirt water from a plastic container into the air: the water does not fall or disperse but settles in a roundish mass which then, subject only to the weak forces of surface tension, lazily assumes the form of a sphere. What do they do with it then? It can't be easy to dispose of without damaging the delicate structures upholding its surface. Primo Levi on "Weightlessness" Photo above of Stephen Hawking, weightless. On the other hand, the top photo is on Bantamweightness

Stephanie Cimatu

At least ten people texted me (including my sister) asking who Stephanie Cimatu. I myself wanted to ask myself that, having read "Manila Bulletin" after eating sinanglaw at Vigan Cimatu and saw her name. Thom P texted to say that she was the headline of their sports page. I bought PS Ngayon because they, too, have her in their banner.

From Tempo
Rain drenches Palaro
By CLYDE MARIANO
KORONADAL CITY — Rain came like a gift from heaven Friday, providing soothing relief for participants in the Palarong Pambansa.With temperature reaching 39 degrees, the 30-minute downpour was a welcome respite, although action was interrupted at the South Cotabato sports complex.
The sweltering heat has claimed the lives of two officials in the six-day old meet that has been a showcase of the National Capital Region athletes.

A 12-year-old farmer’s daughter from Ilocos Norte, however, drew the limelight away from Metro Manila when she smashed the meet record in the girls’ javelin throw.
Trained by one of the country’s greatest athletes, Stephanie Cimatu threw the spear in 38.53 meters, nearly four meters better than the nine-year-old standard held by Nina Malinao of Calabarzon.
Barely standing five feet, Cimatu accounted for one of four gold medals won by Ilocos Norte, an emerging force in athletics.
Cimatu is trained by many-time Southeast Asian Games champion Erlinda Lavandia, one of three trainers tapped by Ilocos Norte sports czar Michael Keon, former executive-director of Project: Gintong Alay.
"Masaya ako dahil nanalo ako at record pa," said a beaming Cimatu, who stands to receive P5,000 as cash reward coming from the Ilocos Norte provincial government.
Cimatu, a grade six pupil at Nagbalagan Elementary School in Bangui, placed sixth in the event last year in Naga City.

Here's Manila Times
Ilocos lass sets new javelin record
by Frank Calapre, Correspondent
KORONADAL CITY: Stephanie Cimatu of Ilocos Region set a new record Friday in the girls elementary javelin throw as defending champion National Capital Region virtually wrapped the overall title in the 2007 Palarong Pambansa at the South Cotabato Sports Complex here.
The 13-year-old Cimatu, a protégé of former Southeast Asian Games champion Erlinda Lavandia, poured it all in her fourth attempt for a record-breaking distance of 38.53 meters, way ahead of the old mark of 34.94 meters recorded by Nina Malinao of Calabarzon in Pili, Camarines Sur, in 1997.
“I thanked my coach [Lavandia] for this victory. Since she started training me, I improved a lot. She really wanted me to focus on breaking the record and not just to win,” said Cimatu in Filipino, who could only finished 5th in the same event last year in Naga City. Lavandia, the long-time SEA Games record holder in javelin, was hired by former Gintong Alay chief Michael Keon since last year to coach the Ilocos Norte athletics team.
Cimatu, a Grade 6 student, was the second athlete to establish a new record in athletics here after Maika de Oro of Western Visayas in the girls elementary discuss throw last Thursday.


Records fall as rains drop on Palaro
By Joey Villar
The Philippine Star 04/28/2007
KORONADAL City – Records fell as rain drenched the Palarong Pambansa here after a week of heat wave with a javelin thrower from the Ilocos Region producing the worthiest victory and the fancied National Capital Region capping its domination of the pool events at the South Cotabato Sports Complex here yesterday. Ilocos bet Stephanie Cimatu heaved the javelin to 38.53 meters in smashing the one-year-old elementary record of 34.94m set by Nina Malinao of Southern Tagalog A in Naga City on a day heavy rains somehow washed away memories of a sizzling, punishing week that claimed two lives and caused more than 300 heat-related cases. "I thank my coach for helping and training me for this event," said the 12-year-old Cimatu in Filipino, referring to former Southeast Asian Games javelin gold medalist Erlinda Lavandia.

5 Teeners Smash Records
by Peter Atencio
Manila Standard
KORONADAL City—A sudden but welcome downpour cooled down the weather at the South Cotabato Sports Complex here, but birthday girl Sabrina Ingrid Ilustre and four other gutsy teeners had more reasons to celebrate other than the rain.
The teeners went on a record-breaking spree as the Big City bets scooped eight of the 15 gold medals at stake on the final day of swimming competitions of the 2007 Palarong Pambansa.
Stephanie Cimatu, a 13-year-old sixth grader from Nagbalagan Elementary School in Bangui, Ilocos Norte, set a new mark when she heaved the spear to a distance of 38.94 meters in elementary girls’ javelin throw.
Cimatu broke the old mark on her third attempt, improving on the 34.94 m., which Niña Malinao of Calabarzon submitted last year in Naga City.

In our circle, this is known as cartel writing. Rain. Records. Cimatu. But BIG THANKS nonetheless from all the Cimatus in the world.

Happy Days

The good old days are here again in Abra. A week after Gen. Martin was taken out of Task Force Abra, the so-called unidentified armed men killed a barangay captain near the Bangued Church. What audacity, you say. But this is Abra.
Here's an unused story of mine last week:
BAGUIO CITY -- The fatal shooting by a schoolteacher of one farmer and wounding of two others in Dolores town is a personal vendetta and not political in nature. Ferdinand Cabalbal, 37, was attending a funeral wake in Libtec barangay on April 12 at about 10:30 evening with two others when the suspect, Pepito Jaquias Callejo, shot him twice in the body. Also shot were Roque Terrenal and Norieto Tallon, who were playing cards with Cabalbal.
Cabalbal was dead even before arriving at the St. Theresa's Medical Center while Terrenal and Tallon, who are farmers in Libtec, are still confined there. Abra provincial chief, Senior Superintendent Alexander Pumecha said that Callejo was only avenging the death of a cousin who was shot while on his way home in Libtec last February.
Adelo Tejero Callejo was killed last February 6, Pumecha said. Pumecha said that Callejo is a respectable person and was the teacher in charge not only of the Libtec Elementary School but also the nearby Taping Elementary School. Callejo is at large but the police already murder charge against him.
Callejo used a cal .45 pistol in killing Cabalbal and the police recovered four shells in the area.
Pumecha said that the killing is not related to the killing of Rogelio Reyes, barangay captain of Isit, last March 18. Reyes is a known supporter of Dolores Mayor Albert "Pacquing" Guzman, an in-law of beleaguered Gov. Vicente "Vicsyd" Valera, the prime suspect in the killing of Rep. Luis "Chito" Bersamin.

Mikaela's Valedictory Speech

Mikaela is the 16 year old Physics student who graduated summa cum laude and the top student in UP this year.

Pinagpapala ang Pinagpapalà: The Role of the Scientist in Nation Building
Mikaela Irene D. Fudolig
CS Recognition Speech
April 22, 2007

Good afternoon.

Let me start my speech with this quote: "Pinagpapalà ang pinagpapala, at pinagpapala ang pinagpapalà."

For those who didn't get that, let me literally translate it in English: "Blessed are those who shovel, and those who are blessed are made to shovel." Of course, it loses its lyricism, so I repeat: "Pinagpapalà ang pinagpapala, at pinagpapala ang pinagpapalà."

From the various talks that I have attended, I noticed a general theme: that aside from being good students, which is the primary reason why all of us are here today to be recognized by the College of Science, we should have leadership capabilities and social responsibility. Of course, the fact that we're from UP sets great expectations.

Do I agree with that? I will make this clear: yes, I do agree. Academic excellence alone is a joy that you will most likely keep to yourself, and if not put to good use, then the University has invested on something for nothing.

The question now is: how do we, as scientists, help in nation building?

I have noticed, again, from the many talks that I have attended, that the common idea of "community service" is Sangguniang Kabataan. Red Cross. Gawad Kalinga. Opinion leaders view community service, which they correlate to nation building, as using physical energy to help the poor. You want to do community service? Solicit money from your congressman and donate a school building. You want to do community service? Help during calamities. You want to do community service? Build houses for the poor.

Again, let me make this clear: These ways are indeed community service. But are these the only ways to do community service? Should community service simply be giving something for nothing? Should community service necessarily involve a lot of legwork? Should the effects of community service be immediate?

Let me ask you now: When Michael Faraday discovered magnetic induction, was that community service?

When James Hutton developed and Charles Lyell promoted the theory of uniformitarianism, was that community service?

When our very own Alexander Edward Dy made it possible for amoebiasis to be tested based on salivary IgA instead of stool, was that community service?

Current conventional wisdom would answer: NO. Faraday had been criticized before for discovering something without practical use. And so what if slow geological processes occurred eons before and continue until now? And how can Alexander Dy's amoebiasis test serve the poor in the squatters' area? His method will definitely not give jobs to them. It wouldn't give them shelter. And it's not FREE.

But Faraday's discovery of magnetic induction is what led to using AC power in our homes. It is the reason why we can power this microphone. It is the reason why you have lights at home and in the classroom. It is the reason why you can power your refrigerator.

The concept of uniformitarianism did nothing to help the poor, but it helped gain more understanding of the Earth. And it is uniformitarianism that influenced Charles Darwin in formulating his theory of evolution. And I think you know how influential Darwin's theory of natural selection had been.

Mr. Dy's amoebiasis test would probably not be given for free. It would not give them shelter, and most probably, wouldn't give jobs, at least not to the usual recipients of charity. But if amoebiasis can be diagnosed faster simply by getting the saliva of a patient, something which can be readily obtained, then more amoebiasis patients would be cured. More lives would be saved.

The community service of scientists is often underestimated. Our discoveries are often tagged as having no practical applications, of no use in calamities, and of no immediate help to the poor. If Faraday had concentrated on donating blood, if Hutton and Lyell focused on building houses, if Alexander Dy, now magna cum laude, insisted on tutoring every single kid in his barangay FOR FREE, then they would be considered by the majority as excellent servers of the community. But they would not have done what they have done. Where would we be now?

Fellow scientists, do not be disheartened. Our efforts may be devalued by those who seek immediate, visible, and tangible results. But the fact remains: science drives the technology that makes lives better all over the world. Our devotion to our craft, our unceasing search for our holy grail, that piece of knowledge that will change the way things are, is as much community service as the more popular and immediately recognized forms of giving. Let not the pressure to be recognized make us stray from our efforts to improve the life of humanity in the best way we can.

Thank you.

Because she looks like Alice in Wonderland in her photos, I included Abelardo Morell's Alice in Wonderland series.

Deja Vu All Over Again

Time on the Philippines, June 05, 1950:

Last November's presidential election also left an unsavory taste in the Philippines. Most Filipinos think that victorious President Elpidio Quirino, anxious to forestall any congressional investigation into the election results, made a deal with Jose Avelino, who had been suspended as president of the Philippine Senate for trafficking in government-owned beer. Avelino still controlled enough votes in Congress to get Quirino's election certified as legal. And there is no doubt about the fact that Quirino later helped Avelino to get back his Senate presidency, then sent him flying off on an expensive world tour as a good-will ambassador.

These and other rumors of corruption in government circles have hurt Quirino's prestige. Last week, shortly after Manila's tabloid Star Reporter referred to him as "our beloved President . . . who is growing fat like a pig on public taxes," Quirino showed concern for public opinion and appointed his vigorously critical Vice President, Fernando Lopez, to investigate corruption in the government.

Old Vendettas. But Quirino bears little responsibility for at least one element in the Philippines' economic and political deterioration. His faults do not include the narrow nationalism which is the strongest legislative trend in the Philippine Congress. Economic nationalism has frightened off prospective American investors, and inspired in some American businessmen already in the Philippines a strong desire to head for home.

Most prominent of the extreme nationalists is Jose Laurel, Quirino's chief opponent in the last election and head of the Nationalist Party. Laurel had Huk support during the election. If he chose, popular Jose Laurel could be useful in an anti-Communist front against the Huks, but he refuses to cooperate unless Quirino's Liberal Party publicly admits that it cannot handle the job alone and publicly asks the help of the Nationalists.

This makes bargaining hard for Quirino, but he may yet discover that he cannot do without Laurel's aid. The fall of China has encouraged the Huks. Should China's Communists take Formosa, only 65 miles from the Philippines' northern tip, Filipino Communists would become an even more serious threat to the government.

So far, China's fall has not yet hurt the Philippines as much as internal dissension has. Today the strength of the government's forces in the Philippines is still greater than that of the Communists. But its strength is ebbing away in disunity, as businessmen and politicians fight out their old vendettas and pursue their schemes to advance their personal ambitions. The Philippines can be lost, as China was.

Shakespeare

Scientists in Germany scanned the sculptures using computerised imaging techniques to show that they match up with portraits of the Bard. The systems, used by police, map out a person's face to identify whether they tally with known pictures. Elizabethan experts deny the claim, saying busts and portraits were not true likenesses so often look similar. The investigation was led by Dr Hildegard Hammerschmidt-Hummel, of the University of Mainz, who has published a book on her findings. The model of the similar features was built after researchers used the techniques to show that the Davenant bust matches pictures of Shakespeare. They found the bust's facial features coincided with those of the death mask, which is owned by the German city of Darmstadt.

Meanwhile, here's a poem by Pinsky

Samurai Song by Robert Pinsky

When I had no roof I made
Audacity my roof. When I had
No supper my eyes dined.

When I had no eyes I listened.
When I had no ears I thought.
When I had no thought I waited.

When I had no father I made
Care my father. When I had
No mother I embraced order.

When I had no friend I made
Quiet my friend. When I had no
Enemy I opposed my body.

When I had no temple I made
My voice my temple. I have
No priest, my tongue is my choir.

When I have no means fortune
Is my means. When I have
Nothing, death will be my fortune.

Need is my tactic, detachment
Is my strategy. When I had
No lover I courted my sleep.

Send as Tragedy

I recently finished a poem entitled "K as a Tragic Word" about love loss and texting. I will post it to you later. It dwells about farewells appropriated by text messaging. Now a new book is saying that Send is more tragic. Here's the story.

The Send button, so easy to click, invites us to write too quickly. ("Send" may be the most dangerous four-letter word of the 21st century.)

Unconsciously, perhaps, we believe an e-mail is less permanent than a letter. We imagine it as a casual private message that vanishes into the ether. In fact, it's likely to be far more permanent than any paper communication. E-mails can be stored with ease by the recipients and by third parties, such as the corporations from which they are sent.

An e-mail has a way of making us impetuous. As S&S say, "It actually eggs us on. On e-mail, people aren't quite themselves: they are angrier, less sympathetic, less aware. ... E-mail has a tendency to encourage the lesser angels of our nature."

Evil

There is a resort in Sariaya which has a caged python. When we went there, the python was hibernating and there was a live cat in the cage. I knew it was going to be eaten but the young boy with us rationalized it that the cat was a good friend of the python. On our way to the swimming pool, we saw a cage of cats. A mother cat and her kittens. Python fodder. Calling the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty Against Animals.

Putumayo

He he he. Last night a kuripot friend was holding nine Putumayo CDs. Told him I would just listen to them but was able to import them in iTunes. How discreetly evil. But this is nothing from what I eavesdropped from a bunch of call center agents drinking beer. One said he spent his first pay to finance the mauling of his sister's ex-husband in Bicol. That husband left his sister and his children. This young man did it two years ago and again last December. Never told his sister. He has a contact in Bicol who would round up the maulers. They would make it look like a robbery or hold-up and then take pictures to be emailed to the young man. He would earn again for another hit this year. All for family duty.

With a PR Like This, Who Needs Enemies?

CCTV came out with their "Ten Most Beautiful Chinese Women" and tried to be frank about their appearances, who would have thought that this TV network can be brutal? Here's what they wrote:
Gong Li, a traditional Chinese beauty, especially in the eyes of foreigners. In the Chinese perception, she is "average." Shortcomings; her face is a little long and her lips are a little thick.

Zhang Ziyi, actually she is called "little Gong Li." Zhang and Gong have some resemblence on facial features, but she is more beautiful than Gong Li. Her face is suitable to play the role of ancient girls or modern types. Her nose bridge is very high compared to other Chinese girls. Shortcomings: her top lip is thin and lower lip is thick. So she looks a little stubborn and not easy to deal with.

Zhang Jingchu's face is classical, although she has a big jaw

Zhao Wei's eyes are really beautiful. So you always worry if her contact lens will fall out of her eyes. But her face is not delicate enough. She has a big mouth, a big nose and a big face. Her teeth are not very white.

Liu Yifei's face is very delicate, but her eyes are not expressive. This is one reason why she didn't give us deep impressions in her series and movies. She can't use her spiritual windows to communicate with an audience.

Huang Shengyi has a horse face, and big nose. When she smiles, she is fatally attractive

Zhou Xun is almost perfect. If you are critical, her only shortcoming is that her mouth looks like an old lady's

Zhang Baizhi's face is perfect too, but her voice is terrible, just like a weight lifter.

Xu XiYuan, nickname Big S, is average except beautiful long hair. By the way, she has big ears.


Xu Xidi, nickname Small S, just pretty, not beautiful. Small eyes, thin lips, but a TV show hostess like her needs intelligence rather than beauty.

M's

And just like that, the Mariners are at the bottom of the West division. Its last two games postponed again due to rains.

Campbell Statue

The National Association of Independent Travel Agencies is planning to erect a statue of slain Peace Corps volunteer Julia Campbell in Ifugao. Naitas has already raised P200,000 for the project and needs P800,000 more. The project may be in good intention but it's long-term objective is suspect. Hey, the Ifugao people are not only embarrassed but terrified by the whole thing. It's not like this thing happen all the time. They have even disowned the suspect and said that he was only married to a resident here. Prolonging the agony is already a nightmare to all concerned but permanently reminding us of the incident is worse. Hey hey if you want to remember Ms. Campbell, raise scholarship funds to the people in Bicol she once taught to. That is a better legacy.

Philippines and UN Censorship

The World Association of Newspapers and the World Editors Forum have protested to the UN Human Rights Council and its member nations against a resolution that attempts to justify censorship under the guise of protecting religious sensibilities.

The resolution, which aims to discourage "defamation of religion", asserts that freedom of expression "should be exercised with responsibility and may therefore be subject to limitations as provided by law." While the resolution was proposed by Pakistan and supported by numerous repressive governments, several democratic nations also approved the resolution (Mexico, the Philippines and South Africa) or abstained from the vote (Argentina, Brazil, Ecuador, India, Peru, Uruguay).

"We are seriously concerned that this resolution will be relied on by authoritarian governments to suppress freedom of expression on the grounds of religious defamation," the Paris-based WAN and the WEF said in letters to the UN Human Rights Council President, Luis Alfonso de Alba, and to the Presidents and Ambassadors of countries approving or abstaining from the measure.

"It is wholly inappropriate for the Human Rights Council to justify censorship and the stifling of dissenting voices," the letter said.

From McSweeney's: Literary Fungi

NAMEJACKING
SEVEN BOOKS THAT EVEN THEIR AUTHORS DON’T RECOGNIZE
by Paul Collins

For an editor, dead authors are notably easier to work with than living ones. This probably explains why, in 1731, the London printer Thomas Astley was able to coax a most unusual seventy-four-page tract out of Sir Isaac Newton: Tables for Renewing and Purchasing Leases of Cathedral Churches and Colleges. Since he’d already been dead for four years, it mattered little that Newton was not in the habit of writing lease-calculators: what mattered was that his name could sell any math-related title, and that Sir Isaac was in no position to lodge a complaint about it.

Formally known as allonymic literature, books that steal the names of famous authors are as old as the pursuit of profit in publishing—which is to say, they are probably as old as literature itself. I’ve found, for instance, that a pretty consistent one in six antiquarian copies of Aristotle are not, in fact, by Aristotle at all: they are variants of Aristotle’s Masterpiece, a 1684 sex guide published illicitly in contraband editions up through the twentieth century.

Rarest of all—the truffle of this underground of literary fungi—is the living allonym, the book that steals the name of an author who is still very much alive. The motive is always profit, and the results are always entertaining—if not for these unfortunate authors.

William Shakespeare
The Yorkshire Tragedy (1608)
The tale of a vicious gambler who murders his family, The Yorkshire Tragedy capitalized upon the infamous case of Walter Calverley, who was pressed to death under stones in 1605 for murdering his two sons and wounding his wife. The play, though suitably gory—“I’ll kiss the blood I spilt and then I go: My soul is bloodied, well may my lips be so”—is probably by Thomas Middleton, despite the publisher’s canny use of Shakespeare’s name on the title page. The ploy was convincing enough that even the editors of Shakespeare’s Third Folio of 1663/64 included the play as genuine. Shakespeare was pestered by dozens of other counterfeit attributions during his lifetime, including a bogus poetry volume, The Passionate Pilgrim, issued by London printer William Jaggard in 1599. Despite pirating other editions of Shakespeare, Jaggard landed the printing job for the First Folio of 1623.

Thomas Paine
Tom Paine’s Jests: Being an Entirely New and Select Collection of Patriotick Bon Mots, Repartees, Anecdotes, Epigrams, Observations, &c. on Political Subjects (1793)
Sold for sixpence in London, this chapbook was not exactly the literary crime of the eighteenth century. It maintains the pretence of authorship for precisely one page—the title page—before clumsily referring to Paine in the third person throughout its preface. There are scarcely a half dozen references to him in the remaining fifty-four pages. And like all jest books from centuries that are not the reader’s own, Tom Paine’s Jests is crushingly funny:

A gentleman haranguing on the protection of our law, and that it was equally open to the poor and the rich, was answered by another: “So is the London Tavern.”

Oh, my sides!

A partly destroyed marginal note written in quill on the New York Public Library’s copy hints that the true author also wrote The Spirit of Despotism; the author of that book was one Reverend Vicesimus Knox. This probably makes Tom Paine’s Jests the most hilarious jest book ever written by an Anglican minister.

Lord Byron
Pilgrimage to the Holy Land: A Poem in Two Cantos (1817)
If only Byron had written all the works attributed to him, he would also be our leading vampire novelist—but, alas, The Vampyre was written by his physician John Polidori, despite an 1819 debut in New Monthly Magazine and Universal Register that was plastered with Byron’s name. (Byron’s name was also opportunistically used on an 1829 Spanish edition, El Vampiro.) Byron’s poetic defense of homosexuality, Don Leon—“The muse each morn I wooed, each eve the boy”—is also considered apocryphal. But most nettlesome was Pilgrimage to the Holy Land, a London publication that followed hard upon the success of his first collected Poems; American reprints quickly ensued. Byron denounced the poem as forgery, and years later its authorship was admitted to by the poet John Agg. He blamed the whole affair on his publisher.

Charles Dickens
The Penny Pickwick (1839)
As the first blockbuster novelist in English literature, Dickens spawned a thriving market in convincing counterfeits. (It helped that his own illustrators secretly moonlighted to do the engravings.) The first of a string of knockoffs, The Penny Pickwick was released as the work of “Bos”… that’s Bos, and not Boz. “Bos” was Thomas Peckett Prest, a penny-dreadful hack whose other immortal masterpieces include David Copperful and Nicholas Nicklebery. And who can forget Oliver Twiss? An unamused Dickens took legal action, and a well-thumbed copy of Oliver Twiss found among his effects testifies to many an hour fulminating over his infuriating doppelgänger. Prest would later go on to create a bona fide classic himself: The String of Pearls, better known today as Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Howard Hughes
The Autobiography of Howard Hughes (1972)
Cooked up in 1971 by novelist Clifford Irving and Richard Suskind for a $745,000 advance from McGraw-Hill, The Autobiography of Howard Hughes played upon the famous characteristic of its billionaire “author”: his reclusiveness. Namely, Howard Hughes had hidden from the public for so long that Irving bet that even his book would not bring him out into the light of day. His bet was both brilliant and utterly wrong: Hughes broke a decade-long silence to renounce the book in a conference call with seven journalists. Incredibly, Irving then denounced Howard Hughes as the fake. But the jig was up, and Irving landed in jail. Irving’s story is now being released as the Richard Gere movie The Hoax. Irving has complained, without apparent irony, that the screenplay inaccurately portrays his life.

J. K. Rowling
Harry Potter and Leopard Walk Up to Dragon (2002)
In Shanghai market stalls in 2002, customers picked up the next Harry Potter sequel long before any American could. A discerning eye, though, might have wondered at the title of the first chapter: “A Sweet and Sour Rainfall.” Or, for that matter, at its opening lines:

Harry did not know how long this bath would take, when he would finally scrub off that oily, sticky layer of cake icing. For someone who had grown into a cultured, polite young man, a layer of sticky filth really made him feel sick. He lay in the high quality porcelain tub ceaselessly wiping his face. In his thoughts there was nothing but Dudley’s fat face, fat as his Aunt Petunia’s fat rear end.

The above translation comes from Beijing-based computer programmer Russell Young, who goes on to note that from the second chapter onward, Leopard Walk Up to Dragon becomes a nearly direct plagiarism of The Lord of the Rings.

Yu Shiwei
Execution Wins (2005)
Perhaps emboldened by their success—later “sequels” like Harry Potter and the Water-Repelling Pearl have also been rather heavy on mentions of Gandalf—Chinese publishers have gone on to promote entirely fictitious Western authors. One best-selling classic of business advice, Paul Thomas’s Executive Ability, is a five-volume work in Chinese by a Duke University business professor who does not, in fact, exist. Yet a very real Chinese business scholar, Yu Shiwei, has also found himself confronted with books he never wrote. Los Angeles Times reporter Don Lee noted in 2005 that after a lecture in Shanghai, Shiwei was accosted by an eager autograph seeker bearing ten copies of “his” book Ying Zai Zhi Xing (“Execution Wins”). Shiwei, not wanting to disappoint his fan, graciously signed them without a word.

Paul Collins teaches creative nonfiction at Portland State University. His latest book is The Trouble with Tom: The Strange Afterlife and Times of Thomas Paine.

Wankette 20: Abalos

The press conference Comelec's Abalos last week at Camp Dangwa was first set at 1:00 pm. Then three hours later, the advisory set it at 4:00 pm so Abalos and PNP's Esperon would be relaxed when they meet up with the media after that helicopter trip from Abra. Well, some media came at 1 pm because they were not aware of the 2nd advisory. We came at 3;30 pm and was able to catch the PNP, Dep Ed and Comelec of Cordillera and Cagayan Province having their pre-conference meeting. 4:00 pm came and went. Then 5:30, we are still there. We got a message that "natrapik sila." Then we later got the real score: Abalos was still playing golf at the Baguio Country Club. It was better for us to go home. And so we went home. And one person was P10 million richer and loving his administration's well-known policy of impunity.

Delfin

I went to visit Delfin Mallari Jr. in Lucena City, Quezon. The banner headline of Compact was written by him. I told him that it is better to write the story than the subject of the story. Better still to write it than be written. Worse is that Pinoy journalese, "takpan ka ng diyaryo."
Let us adopt the anti-Viet's taunting of LBJ and have our own. HEY! HEY! PGMA! HOW MANY JOURNALISTS DID YOU KILL TODAY?

Wankette 19

Some journalists quaking in terror at the Church anti-reproductive health policy makes mistakes in their reporting. Lawyer Carole Ruiz in her blog questioned gma.tv for mixing the Ten Commandments for Voting.

In an article which first attributed the so-called "10 commandments for
responsible voting to the Parish Pastoral Council for Responsible Voting (PPCRV), the news outfit actually quoted a different set of "10 commandments," one which was in fact created by Pro-Life Philippines, not the PPCRV to which the same article provides links to.

The PPCRV's separate ten commandments for responsible voting as it turns out, echoes the Catholic tradition of *faith based on conscience* and begins with: "1. Thou shalt vote according to the dictate of your conscience." Nowhere in those commandments is specific mention of divorce, reproductive health or homosexuality—issues which GMA7 News chose to highlight in the brief article. The PPCRV website does provides a link to the Pro-Life Philippines version of the ten commandments for responsible voting, but to equate it with the PPCRV version is no small matter.

Wankette 18: Aksa Begs to Differ

Aksa gave us a piece of their mind:

Here are the "lies":

1.That AKSA is a front of the administration and is a 'project' of Sec. Norberto "Banana Eater" Gonzales

*AKSA** is NOT a front of this administration or any of its leaders or instrumentalities.* AKSA is its members, the organized women, urban poor, workers in the formal and informal sectors, farmers, fisherfolk, muslims, elderly, workers in the transport sector, and indigenous cultural communities. To say that *AKSA* is a project of anybody besides those who compose it is a big insult to the masses that have been at the forefront of *AKSA*'s struggles. It reeks of the elitism that pervades many NGOs in the country. It undermines the masses' capacity and right to form their own organizations, to critically analyze issues and push for their agenda. *AKSA* is a social democratic group, linked with progressive organizations in countries where social democracy is tried and tested, where the quality of life is high, and where governance is geared towards the common good.

*AKSA *carries a pro-poor program of government that: upholds, respects and promotes human and women's rights; brings to the people the basic services they so desire and need; defends the Filipino people's democratic gains; and pushes for authentic politics of ideologies and well-defined programs. This program of government is developed from the decades of active involvement of *AKSA *organizations in people's movements and advocacies. Because of *AKSA*'s ideology and program of government, we have taken positions contrary to those of the past and present administrations. For instance, on the matter of amending the Constitution, *AKSA* has consistently pushed for a parliamentary and unicameral system and federal form of government through *CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION.* We have always stressed that the people should understand the complicated issues surrounding charter change to make an intelligent decision. The allegation peddled by Rep. Etta Rosales that AKSA is part of Sigaw ng Bayan is an outright *LIE*! *AKSA* is for the enactment of a comprehensive and rights-based reproductive health law. The DSWP, one of *AKSA*'s big organizations has been actively working on this for the last 3 Congress terms. RH is included in *AKSA*'s program of government as well as the anti-discrimination bill for the LGBT community and strong programs towards gender equality.

2. That AKSA is connected with the Office of External Affairs (OEA)
This is the second time that *AKSA* is running for the Party List. Therefore, *AKSA* DID NOT anymore need accreditation from the COMELEC. All we needed was to submit a manifestation of our intent to participate in the 2007 elections. There is no reason for *AKSA* to link with any government office to get accreditation from COMELEC. Moreover, there was and is no reason why *AKSA* would need the OEA to decide on our list of nominees.
3.That AKSA's nominees do not represent the marginalized sectors.
For the record, the following are the nominees submitted by *AKSA* to the
COMELEC:

1. *ELIZABETH ANGSIOCO* – (Luzon) National Chair, Democratic Socialist Women of the Philippines (DSWP); known feminist; international awardee for human and women's rights; has for decades led in the implementation of various programs for women and the advocacy of pro-women laws.
2. *TIMOTEO A. ARANJUEZ* – (Visayas) President, Union of Filipino Workers (UFW) and Congress of Labor Organizations (CLO); veteran trade union leader of 45 years.
3. *MAO "Ka. Benjie" ANDONG JR. *– (Mindanao) Bangsa Moro community leader; known peasant leader and organizer; President, Kongreso ng mga Manggagawa, Magsasaka at Mangingisda Para sa Kaunlaran (KOMMMPaK)
4. *FERNANDO GANA *– ( NCR) veteran urban poor organizer; youth leader and field educator.
5. *Donna A*. *Casio* – (Visayas) respected community development leader; implementor of various development programs such as micro finance, skills enhancement for livelihood and social participation.
6. *HADJI BALAJADIA* – (Mindanao) youth and LGBT leader; Co-Chair AKSA Youth; Co-Convenor AKSA LGBT; Secretary General, 6th National Youth parliament.

Cho and Andrew Cunanan

This is part of Jeff Yang's essay in salon.com:

"Most of the perpetrators of mass school killings have been white," said Paul Niwa, a journalism professor at Emerson College. "After those shootings, do you think white people felt guilty that the shooter was white? Do you think white people felt that since the shooter was white, that the shooter would give society a bad impression of whites? A shooter can be white and nobody thinks that race played a part in the crime. But when someone nonwhite commits a crime, this society makes the person's race partially at fault."

Reading these comments, I found myself caught in a dilemma. I want to think that race is not a factor in the toxic mix of rage and psychological disturbance that has occasionally discharged as this kind of violence. And, certainly, in most cases it isn't: Teenage angst is colorblind, and the triggers for crimes like these have included parental abuse, schoolyard persecution, romantic obsession -- phenomena that exist beyond culture or ethnicity.

But professor Niwa is right: When race enters the equation -- when the perpetrator of a crime of this type is black, like "Beltway Snipers" John Allen Muhammad and his ward Lee Boyd Malvo, or Asian, like Cho -- it rises to the surface and stays there, prompting inevitable discussions about whether "black rage" or "immigrant alienation" were somehow to blame; whether in some fundamental fashion, color of skin, shape of eye, or nation of origin lie at the seething, secret heart of such tragedies.

And then I remembered Andrew Cunanan. Turned out there were others who made the crazy connection. One Two: Then I thought about the gunman. The first thing that stood out at me was the Asian description. What’s this going to do to the national perspective of Asians? Nearly every time I’ve seen an Asian in the news — it’s been attached to something bad. The Asian sniper in the Midwest. Andrew cunanan (aka the guy that shot G. Versace). Now this one. Asian-American male stereotype beware. Hell, look at William Hung. No wait, don’t.
A certain rachel in an answer to a blog made the mistake of identifying Cunanan as a white male. Ha ha ha.

Perhaps we should compile a list of spree killings, mass killings, and school shooting done by white males.

I’ll start it, and others can add.

Andrew Cunanan was a spree killer who killed 5 people.

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were responsible for Columbine.

Andrew Kehoe who blew up a school full of kids in the 20s.

Duane R. Morrison who broke into a school and molested several women, and subsequently killed one of the women.

Kip Kinkel in Oregon was a school shooter.

If you want to find more school shooters, wikipedia has several names; the vast majority of them are male and white.

Another reactor to a blog named frank had this to say about Cho:
Luckily he has none of the cuteness factor that Andrew Cunanan did.
Should Pinoys be glad of that? That our serial killers are guwapo?
And then Yahoo recently deleted a question on Cho re: his sexuality. Since it had been proven that Cho had no girlfriend, does that mean that he's gay like Cunanan?
And then there's Karmela Johnson who wrote:
I want to reach out now to my Korean-American brethren and tell you that even though there will be some idiots out there who will blame you, the rest of us don’t feel this way. The monster that is Cho Seung-Hui was not your fault, just as Andrew Cunanan wasn’t the collective fault of Filipino-Americans.

Rabid Crucifixion

I saw this in New Scientist. Makes your blood chill. One of those who joined the Crucifixion in Cutud died of rabies and must have infected about 100 people. Why didn't this make it in the front pages?

13:22 19 April 2007 from NewScientist.com news service

More than a hundred men in the Philippines may have contracted rabies after taking part in a self-flagellation ritual to mark Good Friday, doctors and local authorities said on Thursday.

A health alert was issued after a man who took part in the traditional ceremony – where participants slash their backs with knives before flaying themselves with bamboo whips – died from the virus on 11 April.

Mario Morales, the mayor of Mabalacat in Pampanga province north of Manila, told local media that Eduardo Sese may have contaminated up to 100 people who shared knives to cut themselves. He was bitten by an infected dog in February 2007.

The government doctor in Pampanga, Maria Clara Aquino, said vaccines had been given to 103 people who could have been exposed.
Atoning for sins

Self-flagellation is an annual tradition in Pampanga and other parts of the Philippines in which men whip themselves into a frenzy on Good Friday to atone for their sins.

Rabies is a viral disease that infects domestic and wild animals. It is transmitted to humans through close contact with saliva from infected animals, from example through bites, scratches or licks on broken skin.

Treatment does exist in the form of antibodies to the disease followed by a vaccine to stimulate more antibody production, but it must be administered within hours of infection. Once symptoms of the disease develop, rabies is fatal in both animals and humans. Death can occur within seven days of infection.

A World Health Organization study in 2004 estimated that up to 55,000 people, mostly in rural areas of Africa and Asia, die each year from rabies.

Wankette 17: Abra

Gov. Vicsyd Valera, whom no national political candidate would dare not approach because he is literally KOD (kiss of death) waited smilingly for the supposed peace covenant to finish. He knew that Comelec Chair Abalos had something very important to announce and the SOAYSE Abalos (don't ask me what that acronym meant) gave Valera what he wanted to hear. Yes, the Comelec decided to replace Brig. Gen. Eugene Martin (Valera's adversary for a long, long time because he knew his secrets) with Col. Punk Rocker of Benguet. Five hours later, I got a text from someone in Abra: P10 m for the removal of Martin. And then I got different reactions. One said Martin must be happy now. Another said Abalos is the happy man. Jesus, P10 million! That is already two contracts for murder of a high official in Abra! I pity the people of Abra. i pity myself because I am going to cover Abra and all these things happening would be making very interesting also.

Let Session Road Breathe

Session Road was closed from 6 am to midnight this Earth Day and artists took the initiative by creating chalk drawings from nature. Benhur Villanueva, a retired arts teacher from Ateneo Grade School who settled here to become a sculptor and environmentalist, brought his young students from Tam-awan village and they drew a huge sun radiating on lizards, butterflies, flowers and trees. "Let the children give us the vision of what they want with the city," Villanueva said. "Let Session Road Breathe" was the acknowledged motto during the chalk drawing. A local bookstore and pizzeria donated colored chalk to people passing and soon families were on their knees drawing. I also donated boxes of dustless colored chalk to the artists. The daughters of Bedejim Abdullah, a respected Muslim scholar, were in their summer veils as they drew huge blue flowers. Below them, members of the Baguio Arts Guild were also drawing huge lizards, eyes and the Earth. Streetchildren also followed suit. As the day passed, many of the students bought their own chalk and started doing their own images. The skateboarders also used the city as their downhill ramp. The bikers patroled the streets. The artists made performance art. Some reprising what they did last night at Vocas. Some even made artistic messages to their friends: a far cry from their usual text messages. Baguio priests also tried to revive the Angelus with a five-minute prayer for end to global warming this Sunday. The Church mentioned in their morning homilies of the plan to have all motorists at the Central Business District to turn off their engines for five minutes on 6 pm. The Tigil-Buga Para sa Ating Planeta had all church bells ring within that period to remind them to pray for the Earth. The Tigil Buga is sponsored by the Philippine Greens Cordillera, the Baguio Community of Volunteers Movement and the city government. The Department of Environment and Natural Resources also sponsored a free showing of "An Inconvenient Truth" at SM Baguio.

Cho and Sanjaya with Satan and Moses

Bad week for Asian-Americans. A South Korean shot 33 students and teachers in Virginia Tech. As a result, Sanjaya of American Idol was booted out. Reason: Bad vocals. But he was always bad since Day One. You know the real reason why. And then, Vonnegut died. If you read his novels, one of them, I think it's Jailbird, started with the Texas Tower Shooter.

Gary Lavergne wrote about the Texas Tower Shooter and in Chronicles of Higher Education, he wrote: "On August 1, 1966, Charles Joseph Whitman ascended the University of Texas Tower, in Austin, and in 96 minutes fired 150 high-powered rounds of ammunition down upon an unsuspecting university family. Students, faculty and staff members, and visitors heard "strange noises" and thought nothing of it until they saw bodies and blood on the sidewalks. The shooter killed or wounded nearly 50 people that day. The Whitman story is enduring because it was our introduction to public mass murder and school shootings. It also preys on our worst fear: A stranger aims and kills you because he wants to -- and he doesn't give a damn that he, too, is about to die."

Will P gave us this chilling image:

Compounding our problem are the European press who blamed Charlton Heston for the VT massacre. Heston, if you watched Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine, is the poster boy of the very powerful National Rifle Association. Heston, of course, is also Moses.

Homo Quixotensis

Icelandic philosopher Stefán Snaevarr wrote in Philosophy Now:

Once upon a time a philosopher wrote an article called ‘Don Quixote and The Narrative Self’. He commenced by saying: In this essay, I will discuss the question of whether our selves are constituted by narratives, ie stories. Are we like Don Quixote, whose self was created by his reading of medieval romances: are we Homo quixotienses, the narrative self? Or are we rather like the protagonist of Sartre’s novel Nausea, Antonin Roquentin, whose life did not form any narrative unity? Are we in other words rather Homo roquentinenses? The idea that our life is a story is by no means new. Thus the great bard Shakespeare said that life “...is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” (Macbeth) However, it took philosophers some time to discover the philosophical import of this view of life. It was actually a German chap called William Schapp who first gave this age-old idea a philosophical twist. He maintained that we live our lives in a host of stories, which have connection with the stories of other people in various ways; so actually, our selves are nothing but cross-sections of stories. Our identities are created by a vast web of stories, as is our relationship with reality. We understand and identify things by placing them in the stories we tell about them: just like selves, things do not really exist outside of stories. We are caught in this narrative web because we cannot exist outside of it. There is a world-wide web of stories: the world is that web.

Wankette 16: These Groups Have no Right to Party

Below is a list of "partylist groups" that are fronts of the Arroyo regime and the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP). This list was prepared by KONTRA DAYA (a broad-based election watchdog formed to expose the very possible repeat of wholesale election fraud in the May 2007 Philippine elections). Please circulate widely to expose these groups. REJECT these groups in the coming elections!!!


1. AT (Aangat Tayo) connected to PITC Usec. Teddie Elson Rivera
2. Abono connected to House Speaker Jose De Venecia. But a source said that Abono is actually with Rosendo So who is at odds with JDV. Also, one of nominees is Pakoy Ortegaa, who is not only NOT a former but has other ways of using abono.
3. Agbiag! Timpuyog Ilocano, Inc. connected to Office of External Affairs Asec. Marcelo Farinas II
4. Aging Pinoy (Aging Pilipino Organization, Inc.) connected to Norberto Gonzales
5. Ahon (Ahon Pinoy) Dante "Klink" Ang II (1st nominee)
6. Ahonbayan connected to Norberto Gonzales
7. APOI (Akbay Pinoy OFW-National, Inc.) DILG Usec. Melchor Rosales (1st nominee), DILG NCR Dir. Rodolfo Feraren (2nd nominee)
8. AKSA (Aksyon Sambayanan) connected to Norberto Gonzales
9. ANAD (Alliance for Nationalism and Democracy) supported by the AFP
10. ANAK (Angat Ating Kabuhayan Pilipinas, Inc.) Supt. Eduardo Octaviano, NCRPO-PNP (1st nominee)
11. ANC (Alliance of Neo-Conservatives) Usec. for Presidential Appointments Liel Cordoba
12. Ang Kasangga member, Sigaw ng Bayan
13. ARC (Alliance of Rural Concerns) Archie Santiago (son of Sen. Miriam Santiago)
14. ATS (Alliance Transport Sector) Ariel Lim, Presidential Assistant for Public Transport Affairs
15. ABA-AKO Percy Chavez, chairperson, Presidential Commission for the Urban Poor
16. Babae Ka (Babae para sa Kaunlaran) member, Sigaw ng Bayan; Sally Dagami (1st nominee), Ruth Vasquez (2nd nominee)
17. BANAT (Barangay Association for National Advancement of Transparency) Raul Lambino (1st nominee)
18. Bantay Ret. Maj. Gen. Jovito Palparan (1st nominee)
19. Bigkis (Bigkis Pinoy Movement) connected to PAGCOR Chair Ephraim Genuino
20. BP (Biyaheng Pinoy) Dr. Arsenio Abalos, Jesus Cruz (vice-mayor of Mandaluyong)
21. Kalahi (Advocates for Overseas Filipinos) Poe Gratela, former Office of External Affairs coordinator for OFW concerns (1st nominee)
22. VFP (Veterans Freedom Party) supported by the AFP

Kigs

My friend Kigao starred in the Boogieman video of Spaceflowers. He said that Shunt V was the original choice but he is too ethereal for me. Check out Kigao's moves as the shamanastafarian. Cruel. There's also a cameo of Kabunian. MTV wouldn't want to use it daw. But they are going to make a new one instead.

Weng Weng

The best five minutes you will ever spend.

Ada

Tomorrow, Ada will also be singing "Get Back" by The Beatles for her pop singing recital. She wanted "Michelle" but her teacher said it is too sad for her. Beatles talaga ang gusto. Other than that, it's "paperback Writer." The only non-Beatles song in her list is Seal's Kiss From a Rose.

Human Rights

Tomorrow, the local human rights office would hold a concert at the UP Baguio for the benefit of the desaparacidos. I was asked to read a poem and this is what I decided to read:

This was based on Julio Cortazar's short story, Alejandro.

SI ALEJANDRO

Nang maglaho
Na lang basta
Si Alejandro,
Nangamba

Ang mga kasama
Niya’t kapatid
Kung paano nila
Ipapahatid

Ang balita
Sa kanyang ina.
Mahirap na,
Bukod sa biyuda

Ay malala na’ng sakit
Ng matanda
At malapit
Na ngang mamatay.

Kaya hindi
Na nakapagpaalam
Nang mainam
Sa kanyang inang.

Napasyahan
Nilang huwag
Na munang
Ipahayag.

Tutal, ang
Ate ni Alejandro
Ay may asawang
Nagtratrabaho

Sa Saudi.
Siya’ng magpapaalala
Na kunwari
Ay ipinatawag niya

Si Alejandro
Bilang kasamahan
Sa pagkakarpentero.
Ito’y biglaan

Kaya't sa isip ng ina
Ni Alejandro
Ay buo ang alaala
Na buhay pa’ng bunso.

Kaya sa pamamagitan
Ng pagbibigay
Ng mga liham
Muling nabuhay

Si Alejandro.
Bawat buwan, may padala,
Kaarawan, Pasko
Pati litratong luma

”Mahal kong ina,
Magpakabuti kayo
Sana malakas ka na
Sa pag-uwi ko.”

Ito and huling liham
Na nabasa ng ina
Kaya ito namatay
Na masaya at mapayapa.

Nakahabol ang bayaw
Sa libing ng ina, at
Matapos ang ilang araw
Dumating ang sulat

Ni Alejandro:
“Inay, uuwi si bayaw
Baka sumunod din ako
Balang araw.’

Ate niyang nakatanggap
At binasa ito muli.
Paghinga’y kinalap
Saka umiyak sa tabi

At di niya alam kung paano
Ihahatid ang balita
Kay Alejandro
Na patay na ang ina.

Testicles

A 1968 study showed that the left testicle hangs lower in right handed-men (the same is right testicle for left-handed men) but the higher one is heavier and larger. With this in mind, Chris McManus of the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in England examined more than 100 statues of men in Italy and found that most sculptors were wrong because they made the left ball smaller. About forty percent did not even examine their model’s balls and made them the same size. Now, you can look at yours, Mau.

You Know You're From Baguio (The Waterless Version)

1. You know that people taking a shower from busted fire hydrants are only found in MTV and Coke commercials
2. You pay more for the “air” than the water in your water bill
3. Part of your “beach excursion” is bringing your laundry to wash and dry in the lowlands
4. You memorized the number of your water delivery service
5. When worst comes to worst, you can take a bath and shampoo with one pail of water or even a tabo
6. You laugh at news reports on TV and newspapers about a 12-hour no water announcement for Manila and Quezon City
7. You are on Prozac if you are from the complaints department of Baguio Water District
8. It is not shave, shit, shower or shit, shave, shower but shave, shower, shit. You ask why? You save the bathwater to flush.
9. You know there’s a use for the bathtub in your house but you forget what
10. You don’t believe that the next World War would be on water because you are still in Baguio and you have not waged war with anyone yet.

Bees and CPs

The Independent had this story:

It seems like the plot of a particularly far-fetched horror film. But some scientists suggest that our love of the mobile phone could cause massive food shortages, as the world's harvests fail.

They are putting forward the theory that radiation given off by mobile phones and other hi-tech gadgets is a possible answer to one of the more bizarre mysteries ever to happen in the natural world - the abrupt disappearance of the bees that pollinate crops. Late last week, some bee-keepers claimed that the phenomenon - which started in the US, then spread to continental Europe - was beginning to hit Britain as well.

The theory is that radiation from mobile phones interferes with bees' navigation systems, preventing the famously homeloving species from finding their way back to their hives. Improbable as it may seem, there is now evidence to back this up.

Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) occurs when a hive's inhabitants suddenly disappear, leaving only queens, eggs and a few immature workers, like so many apian Mary Celestes. The vanished bees are never found, but thought to die singly far from home. The parasites, wildlife and other bees that normally raid the honey and pollen left behind when a colony dies, refuse to go anywhere near the abandoned hives.

The alarm was first sounded last autumn, but has now hit half of all American states. The West Coast is thought to have lost 60 per cent of its commercial bee population, with 70 per cent missing on the East Coast.

CCD has since spread to Germany, Switzerland, Spain, Portugal, Italy and Greece. And last week John Chapple, one of London's biggest bee-keepers, announced that 23 of his 40 hives have been abruptly abandoned.

Other apiarists have recorded losses in Scotland, Wales and north-west England, but the Department of the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs insisted: "There is absolutely no evidence of CCD in the UK."

The implications of the spread are alarming. Most of the world's crops depend on pollination by bees. Albert Einstein once said that if the bees disappeared, "man would have only four years of life left".

Satisfied

Here are the Top 10 most gratifying jobs and the percentage of subjects who said they were very satisfied with the job according to he General Social Survey (GSS) at the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago:

* Clergy—87 percent percent
* Firefighters—80 percent percent
* Physical therapists—78 percent percent
* Authors—74 percent
* Special education teachers—70 percent
* Teachers—69 percent
* Education administrators—68 percent
* Painters and sculptors—67 percent
* Psychologists—67 percent
* Security and financial services salespersons—65 percent
* Operating engineers—64 percent
* Office supervisors—61 percent

A few common jobs in which about 50 percent of participants reported high satisfaction included: police and detectives, registered nurses, accountants, and editors and reporters.

Here are the 10 least gratifying jobs, where few participants reported being very satisfied:

* Laborers, except construction—21 percent
* Apparel clothing salespersons—24 percent
* Handpackers and packagers—24 percent
* Food preparers—24 percent
* Roofers—25 percent
* Cashiers—25 percent
* Furniture and home-furnishing salespersons—25 percent
* Bartenders—26 percent
* Freight, stock and material handlers—26 percent
* Waiters and servers—27 percent

Wankette 15: How Ah-nold Campaigns in California

Nick Domalsin, the Arnold Schwarzenegger of the Philippines one time, served as councilor of Baguio. He won several bodybuilding trophies. The signage of his club, Baguio Health Club, was very visible from our house. Now "Health Clubs" have a different meaning i.e. naughty sauna clubs. Domalsin command a testosteronic presence in City Hall and was often made to parade in g-strings during parades. His only problem was his squeaky voice (I don't know why many bodybuilders have that problem) which drew sneakers from his much gauntlier peers in the council. As a result, he can not interpolate much. Domalsin died of a heart attack. Set to succeed him sana was Sammy Ayokchok, who is equally famous and more handsome. His problem, common among bodybuilders, is his temper. We had a little conflict because I wrote a story about his literally mauling his janitor but we became good friends. Ayokchok is not bent on running for office, which is good.

Top 100 Sites Opened by Pinoys

1.Yahoo! 2.Friendster 3.YouTube 4.Google.com.ph 5.Google 6.Microsoft Network (MSN) 7.Multiply.com 8.WikiPedia 9.Myspace 10.Blogger.com 11.Photobucket 12.Microsoft Corporation 13.Friendster-layout.com 14.Megaupload 15.Imeem.com 16.E-games.com.ph 17.Jobstreet.com 18.NBA.com 19.Windows Live 20.Rapidshare 21.LiveJournal 22.Amazon.com 23.Inquirer.net 24.InvisionFree 25. Yehey 26.Digital Point Solutions 27. The Internet Movie Database 28.DeviantArt 29.Tristancafe.com 30.about.com 31.Geocities 32.Soompi 33.Go 34.Pinoyspy.net 35. Starware.com 36. Rockyou.com 37. Wordpress.com 38. Guys4men.com 39.Slide.com 40.ImageShack 41.Flickr 42.Googlesyndication.com 43. Ebay.ph 44.EBay 45. Tagged 46. FanFiction.Net 47.Philboxing.com 48.Ultimate Guitar Archive 49.The Philippine Star Online 50. Xtube.com 51. Neopets 52. Information. com 53. Pinoy Exchange 54.CNET Download.com 55. The Pokémon Crater 56.CNN 57.Youporn.com 58.StatCounter.com 59.Qj.net 60.Level-up.com 61.Digg 62.ABS-CBN.com 63.GameFAQs 64.Pinoyunder.org 65.Tipidpc.com 66.World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. 67.Mobile9.com 69.MiniClip.com 70.AOL 71.D-addicts.com 72.Mywebsearch.com 73Ranonline.com.ph 74.GameSpot 75.Asianfanatics.net 76.Adult Friendfinder 77.Tripod.com 78.Crunchyroll.com 79.Apple Computer, Inc. 80.Pinoybigbrother.com 81.Manilatonight.com 82.Msn.com.ph 83.ClickTheCity.com 84.JobsDB.com 85.Seo.ph 86.Zedge.net 87.Multiply.com 88.Gsmsandwich.com.ph 89.Torrentspy.com 90.DomainTools.com 91.Glitter-graphics.com 92.Pimp-my-profile.com 93.Sendspace.com 94.FreeWebs.com 95.Pba.ph 96.Answers.com 97.Adobe 98.CNET.com 99.Technorati 100.Bigoo.ws

The top site by Pinoys is only on No. 23. Number 38 is the first porn site and it is a gay site! !

Vonnegut's Canon passes through Egger's wringer

This is fun. The Dave Eggers mathematicizes Vonnegut's canon.

Kurt Vonnegut

b. Indianapolis, Indiana

FICTION: Player Piano (1952), The Sirens of Titan (1959), Cat's Cradle (1963), God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater; or, Pearls Before Swine (1965), Mother Night (1966), Welcome to the Monkey House (stories, 1968), *Slaughterhouse Five; or the Children's Crusade: A Dance with Death (1969), Breakfast of Champions; or, Goodbye Blue Monday (1973), Slapstick, or Lonesome No More (1976), Jailbird (1979), Deadeye Dick (1982), Galapágos (1985), Bluebeard (1987), Hocus Pocus (1990), Timequake (1997), Bagombo Snuff Box (stories, 1999)

Kurt Vonnegut is one of the few writers in this guide that I can be sure that everyone has already read (unless "everyone" includes people who cannot read, or do not read, or are very young, or speak a language into which his work as not been translated). So. Vonnegut is a science fiction aficionado, WWII vet, lover of women, pitier of the poor, cranky luddite, fun-loving doomsayer, sometime postmodernist. His books -- very personal novels disguised as allegories disguised as science fiction -- nearly always take the entire world (or more) as their canvas. Usually there is a world war, or some catastrophic event, or often genocide, or a scientific or political innovation that threatens to, or has succeeded in, destroying all that we hold dear.

Because of this, Vonnegut could be dismissed as a cranky pessimist. Because his prose is frank and uncomplicated and often very funny, he could be passed off as a "humorist." Gore Vidal once called him "America's worst writer." But despite Vidal (did you know he's related to Al Gore? And the Kennedys?) and other critics, for some inexplicable reason, Vonnegut is taken seriously (by many at least), and he is loved by millions -- even the superintellectuals like yourself.

He has written many books. Following are inadequate plot summaries of each, sometimes accompanied by trenchant commentary. After each there are notations indicating:

WWII = indicates presence of WWII facts, imagery, themes

V = book touches on senselessness of violence

P = presence of prejudice, and its deleterious effects

A = presence of apocalypse (actual), or apocalyptic imagery

SF = heavy science fiction element

$ = emphasis on issues of economic disparity

-F = loss or threatened sense of family, heritage, community

T = complaints about pervasiveness/soullessness of technology

Ar = one or more of the characters is an artist

S = presence of sex scenes

Oh, and for the readers who like a good joke now and again:

VF = book is very funny

F = book is funny

NSF = book is not so funny

Player Piano: What one man does to force change in an America lost in the wheels of progress. (Did I just write that?) A/SF/-F/T/$ -- VF

The Sirens of Titan: Establishes soon-familiar themes of the essential brutality of man and the futility of attempting change. A/V/SF/T -- VF

Mother Night: A former Nazi radio propagandist and his life of depressed exile in New York's Greenwich Village. Perhaps Vonnegut's most straightforwardly told novel. P/S/F -- NSF

Cat's Cradle: One of his most successful and effectively apocalyptic books -- not to give away the ending -- about a substance that freezes, in a death-inducing sort of way, anything containing water. A/SF/T -- F

God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater: About a man who gives millions to poor and pathetic people, this book is not that funny and disappointingly slight. Also contains a vicious portrayal of a gay man, for no discernible reason. A/$/-F -- NSF

Welcome to the Monkey House: A collection of short stories. WWII/P/A/SF/-F/$T/Ar/S -- F, VF, NSF (depending on the story)

Slaughterhouse Five: Vonnegut's most famous book and usually the starting point for Vonnegut inductees, and rightfully so. It crystallizes the author's passions and fears and addresses the pivotal moment in his life: as a WWII POW in Dresden, he witnessed the merciless, earth-leveling Allied bombing of the city. The protagonist is also abducted by aliens and forced to breed with a gorgeous starlet. WWII/V/P/A/SF/S -- VF

Breakfast of Champions: Vonnegut's version of a writer writing about writing, incorporating a number of his alter egos -- Kilgore Trout, et al. Big fun for fans of Vonnegut-as-clown-faced deconstructionist. A/SF/$/T -- VF

Slapstick: An homage to Vonnegut's late sister (whose three sons he raised) about two exceptional siblings. The book posits that Americans suffer from the erosion of the extended family. P/A/SF/-F/$/T -- VF

Jailbird: In which the world's power and wealth resides with an old woman who chooses to be homeless. A/$/T/-F -- F

Deadeye Dick: About a boy who inadvertently kills a pregnant woman while playing with a gun. A treatise on violence, heritage, prejudice. WWII/A/V/-F/P/$/Ar -- F

Galápagos: Speculates that if man were stranded on those islands, he might evolve in a way that would mean less pain for humanity and planet. As pessimistic as Vonnegut gets. V/A/SF -- NSF

Bluebeard: Largely a complaint about the absurdity and impersonality of modern art -- particularly targeting Abstract Expressionism. WWII/P/V/$/AR -- F

Hocus Pocus: A biblical-scale apocalypse takes place in 2001: more realistic than most of his work and very dark. V/A/SF/T -- NSF

Timequake: A rambling essay-cum-novel about not finishing a book, featuring familiar anecdotes, complaints, and visits from old characters like Kilgore Trout. Satisfying for fans, though unsettling, for in it, he claims that it will be his last book. WWII/V/P/A/SF/$/T -- VF

So, Vonnegut is good. If you like books, and like to read them even if they are easy to read and frequently funny, you will like the work of Kurt Vonnegut, a writer.

Also: He has a mustache.


About the writer

Dave Eggers is the author of "You Shall Know Our Velocity" and "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius."

Free Programs

3D Graphics
--------------------------
3Delight Free - http://www.3delight.com/index.htm
Anim8or - http://www.anim8or.com/
Blender - http://www.blender3d.org/
Now3D - http://digilander.libero.it/giulios/Eng/homepage.htm
OpenFX - http://www.openfx.org
POV-Ray - http://www.povray.org/
Terragen - http://www.planetside.co.uk/terragen/
Toxic - http://www.toxicengine.org/
Wings 3D - http://www.wings3d.com/

Anti-spam programs
-----------------------------
K9 - http://www.keir.net/k9.html
MailWasher- http://www.mailwasher.net/
POPFile - http://popfile.sourceforge.net/
SpamBayes - http://spambayes.sourceforge.net/
SpamPal - http://www.spampal.org/

Anti-Spyware
----------------------------------------
Ad-aware - http://www.lavasoft.de/software/adaware/
Bazooka - http://www.kephyr.com/spywarescanner/index.html
Hijackthis - http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/downloads.html
Microsoft Defender (Beta 2) - http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/s...re/default.mspx
SpyBot Search & Destroy - http://spybot.safer-networking.de/
SpywareBlaster - http://www.javacoolsoftware.com/spywareblaster.html
WinPatrol - http://www.winpatrol.com/

Anti-Virus
----------------------------------
AntiVir - http://www.free-av.com/
Avast - http://www.avast.com/i_idt_1018.html
AVG - http://free.grisoft.com/
BitDefender - http://www.bitdefender.com
ClamWin - http://www.clamwin.com/
CyberHawk - http://www.novatix.com/cyberhawk/ Beta

Audio Players
-----------------------------
Billy - http://www.sheepfriends.com/?page=billy
CoolPlayer - http://coolplayer.sourceforge.net/
DeliPlayer. http://www.deliplayer.com/
Foobar 2000 - http://www.foobar2000.org/
iTunes - http://www.apple.com/itunes/
Jet Audio Basic - http://www.jetaudio.com/
Media Monkey - http://www.download.com/MediaMonkey/3000-2...tml?tag=lst-3-2
Musik - http://musik.berlios.de/
musikCube - http://www.musikcube.com/
QCD Player - http://www.quinnware.com/
Sonique - http://sonique.lycos.com/
Winamp - http://www.winamp.com/
XMPlay - http://www.un4seen.com/xmplay.html
Zinf - http://www.zinf.org/

Audio Tools
----------------------------
Audacity - http://audacity.sourceforge.net/
AudioShell - http://www.softpointer.com/AudioShell.htm
CDex - http://cdexos.sourceforge.net/
dBpowerAMP Music Converter - http://www.dbpoweramp.com/dmc.htm
EAC - http://www.exactaudiocopy.de/
Encounter 2003 - http://www.waschbusch.com/
GermaniXEncoder - http://www.germanixsoft.de/
K-MP3 - http://www.katarncorp.com/
KraMixer - http://www.kramware.com/
MP3 Book Helper - http://mp3bookhelper.sourceforge.net/
MP3 Tag - http://www.mp3tag.de/
mp3DirectCut - http://www.rz.uni-frankfurt.de/~pesch/
MP3Gain - http://www.geocities.com/mp3gain/
mp3Trim - http://www.logiccell.com/~mp3trim/
MusicBrainz - http://musicbrainz.org/
Rarewares - http://rarewares.hydrogenaudio.org/
SoundEngine Free - http://www.cycleof5th.com/en/index.htm
TagScanner - http://xdev.narod.ru/tagscan_e.htm
The GodFather - http://users.otenet.gr/~jtcliper/tgf/
TigoTago - http://www.tigotago.com/

CD/DVD Burning
----------------------------
Amazing CD & DVD Burner - http://www.npssoftware.com/freedvdburners/dvdburners.htm
Burn4Free - http://www.burn4free.com/
Burnatonce - http://www.burnatonce.com/
Burrrn - http://www.burrrn.net/
CDBurnerXP - http://www.cdburnerxp.se/
CDRDAO - http://cdrdao.sourceforge.net/
CDR Tools Frontend - http://demosten.com/cdrfe/
Deepburner - http://www.deepburner.com/
DVD Decrypter: http://www.dvddecrypter.com/
Easy Burning, DropCD & Audio CD - http://www.paehl.de/cdr

Checksum Utilities
----------------------------
fsum - http://www.slavasoft.com/fsum/
hksfv - http://www.big-o-software.com/products/hksfv/
md5sum - http://www.etree.org/md5com.html
md5summer - http://www.md5summer.org/

Compression / Decompression
--------------------------------------
7-zip - http://www.7-zip.org/
bzip2 - http://sources.redhat.com/bzip2/index.html
ExtractNow - http://www.extractnow.com/
FilZip - http://www.filzip.com/
Info-Zip - http://www.info-zip.org/
IZArc - http://www.florida.plus.com/izarc/
QuickZip - http://www.quickzip.org/
TUGZip - http://www.tugzip.com/
UPX - http://upx.sourceforge.net/
WinRar- http://www.rarlabs.com/
WinZip- http://www.winzip.com/
Zip&Go - http://www.handybits.com/zipngo.htm
Zipgenius - http://www.zipgenius.it/

Defrag Software
-----------------------------
DIRMS & Buzzsaw - http://www.dirms.com/
OpenVMS - http://www.execsoft.com/freeware/freeware.asp
IObit Smart Defrag- http://www.iobit.com/ISDlanding.html?gclid...CFSInEAod_Xt7Fw

Desktop Enhancements
-------------------------------
AveDesk - http://www.aqua-soft.org/board/showthread.php?t=17372
Blackbox - http://xoblite.net
CursorXP - http://www.stardock.com/products/cursorxp/download.html
Desktop Sidebar - http://www.desktopsidebar.com/
Glass2k - http://www.chime.tv/products/glass2k.shtml
Kapsules - http://kapsules.shellscape.org/
MobyDock - http://www.mobydock.com/
Panorama - http://www.ivory.org/panorama.html
Rainlendar - http://www.ipi.fi/~rainy/index.php?pn=proj...ject=rainlendar
Samurize - http://www.samurize.com/
SlickRun - http://www.bayden.com/SlickRun/
TaskSwitchXP --- - http://www.ntwind.com/taskswitchxp/
tclock2 - http://home.inreach.com/2tone/tclock2/tclock2.htm
Weather Watcher - http://www.singerscreations.com/
Widgets - http://widgets.yahoo.com/
WinRoll - http://www.palma.com.au/winroll/

Download managers
-------------------------------
Download Accelerator Manager (DAM) - http://www.download.com/Download-Accelerat...tml?tag=lst-0-3
FlashGot - http://www.download.com/FlashGot/3000-2378...tml?tag=lst-0-8
Free Download Manager - http://www.freedownloadmanager.org/
LeechGet - http://www.leechget.net/en/
Star Downloader - http://www.stardownloader.com/downloads.php
Sun Download Manager - http://www.sun.com/download/sdm/index.xml
wackget - http://millweed.com/projects/wackget/
wget - http://xoomer.virgilio.it/hherold/
WellGet - http://www.wellget.com/

DVD Players
-----------------------
Artisan DVD/DivX Player - http://www.download.com/Artisan-DVD-DivX-P...tml?tag=lst-0-1
DivX - http://www.download.com/DivX-for-Windows-w...tml?tag=lst-6-4
Zoom Player - http://www.download.com/Zoom-Player-Standa...tml?tag=lst-6-2

DVD Rippers
-------------------------
DVD Decrypter - http://www.afterdawn.com/software/video_so...d_decrypter.cfm
DVD Shrink - http://www.afterdawn.com/software/video_so.../dvd_shrink.cfm

Encryption and data security
--------------------------------------
Axcrypt - http://axcrypt.sourceforge.net/
Blowfish Advanced CS- http://web.bsn.ch/lasse/bfacs.htm
Cryptainer LE - http://www.download.com/Cryptainer-LE/3000...tml?tag=lst-6-4
Eraser - http://www.heidi.ie/eraser/default.php
File Shredder - http://www.sys-shield.com/fileshredder.htm
FineCrypt - http://www.download.com/FineCrypt/3000-209...tml?tag=lst-6-5
KeePass - http://keepass.sourceforge.net/
GnuPG - http://www.gnupg.org/
PGP Freeware - http://www.pgp.com/products/freeware.html
PicoCrypt - http://picofactory.com/picocrypt.html
TrueCrypt - http://www.truecrypt.org/
WindowsCleaner - http://www.winnowsoft.com/internet-eraser.htm

File Managers
----------------------------
2xExplorer - http://netez.com/2xExplorer/
A43 - http://www.shawneelink.net/~bgmiller/
ExplorerXP - http://www.explorerxp.com
Gyula's Navigator - http://www.wanari.com/
JExplorer - http://home.megapass.co.kr/~woosjung/
MeeSoft Commander - http://meesoft.logicnet.dk/

File repair and recovery
----------------------------------------
PC Inspector File Recovery - http://www.pcinspector.de/file_recovery/UK/welcome.htm

Firewalls:
--------------------
Jetico Personal Firewall - http://www.jetico.com/index.htm#/jpfirewall.htm
Outpost Firewall (version 1 is free) - http://www.agnitum.com/download/outpost1.html
SoftPerfect Personal Firewall - http://www.softperfect.com/products/firewall/
Sygate - Discontinued
Wyvern Firewall 2004 - http://www.wyvernworks.com/firewall.html

FTP Clients
-----------------------------
CoreFTP - http://www.coreftp.com/
Filezilla - http://sourceforge.net/projects/filezilla
FTPSurfer - http://www.download.com/FTP-Surfer/3000-21...tml?tag=lst-0-5
LeechFTP - http://stud.fh-heilbronn.de/~jdebis/leechf...iles/lftp13.zip
miFiles - http://www.simdata.com.au/mifiles.html
SmartFTP - http://www.smartftp.com/
WS_FTP - http://www.download.com/WS-FTP-----English...tml?tag=lst-0-6

FTP Servers
----------------------------
FileZilla - http://filezilla.sourceforge.net/
Golden FTP Server - http://www.goldenftpserver.com
GuildFTPD - http://www.guildftpd.com/
Quick 'n Easy FTP Server - http://www.pablovandermeer.nl/ftp_server.html
SlimFTPd - http://www.whitsoftdev.com/slimftpd
TYPSoft FTP Server - http://en.typsoft.com/
WarFTPD - http://www.jgaa.com/

HTML Editors
---------------------------
1st page 2000 - http://www.evrsoft.com/download.shtml
AceHTML - http://freeware.acehtml.com/download.html
Aracnophilia - http://www.arachnoid.com/arachnophilia/
HTML-Kit - http://www.chami.com/html-kit/
Matrix Y2K - http://www.crystalfibers.com/index.php?topicid=20
NVU - http://www.nvu.com/index.html
Selida - http://www.amaryllis.8m.com/
Trellian webPAGE - http://webpage.vendercom.com/
TSW WebCoder - http://www.tsware.net/

Image viewers
-----------------------------
Ahaview - http://www.aha-soft.com/ahaview/ahaviewfree.exe
FastStone Image Viewer - http://www.faststone.org/FSViewerDetail.htm
Irfanview - http://www.irfanview.com/
Picasa - http://www.picasa.com/content/download.php
SlowView - http://www.slowview.at/
XNView - http://www.xnview.com/

Instant Messenger
----------------------------
AMSN - http://amsn.sourceforge.net/index.php
Gaim - http://gaim.sourceforge.net/
Google Talk- http://www.google.com/talk/
IM2: http://www.im2.com
Mercury Messenger - http://www.mercury.to/
Miranda IM - http://www.miranda-im.org/
Pandion - http://www.pandion.be/
PSI - http://psi.affinix.com/
qip - http://www.qip.ru/
Skype - http://www.skype.com/
SIM - http://sim-icq.sourceforge.net/
TerraIM - http://terraim.sourceforge.net/
Trillian Basic - http://trillian.cc/downloads

Internet Explorer Front-Ends
-------------------------------------
AM Browser - http://www.ambrowser.com/
AOL Browser - http://beta.aol.com/projects/aolbrowser/
Avantbrowser - http://www.avantbrowser.com/
Maxthon - http://www.maxthon.com/
SlimBrowser - http://www.flashpeak.com/sbrowser/sbrowser.htm

IRC Clients
-----------------------
BersIRC - http://www.bersirc.com/
BitchX - http://bitchx.org/download.php
HydraIRC - http://www.hydrairc.com/
NodeIRC - http://node.sourceforge.net/
TinyIRC - http://www.tinyirc.net/
XChat - http://www.silverex.org/news/

Mail programs
------------------------
Foxmail - http://fox.foxmail.com.cn/english/
i.Scribe - http://www.memecode.com/
Mahogany Mail - http://mahogany.sourceforge.net/
Pegasus Mail - http://www.pmail.com/
PopTray - http://www.poptray.org/
Thunderbird - http://www.mozilla.org/projects/thunderbird/

Network Tools
----------------------------
CMDTime NTP Utility - http://www.softshape.com/download/
Ethereal Protocol Analyzer - http://www.ethereal.com/
Gencontrol - http://www.gensortium.com/products/gencontrol.html
hamachi - http://www.hamachi.cc/
NetMeter - http://readerror.gmxhome.de/
NetProfiles - http://netprofiles.danielmilner.com/
NMap - http://www.insecure.org/nmap/
Ntop - http://www.ntop.org
PingPlotter - http://www.pingplotter.com
PuTTY - http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~sgtatham/putty
RAS Graph & Stats - http://forum.flashfxp.com/showthread.php?s...p;threadid=2400
RealVNC - http://www.realvnc.com/
TightVNC - http://www.tightvnc.org/
Ultr@VNC - http://ultravnc.sourceforge.net/
WinSCP - http://www.winscp.com/

Office Suite
-----------------------------
602PC Suite free edition - http://www.software602.com/products/pcs/download.html
AbiWord - http://www.abiword.com/
OpenOffice.org - http://www.openoffice.org/
qjot - http://www.xtort.net/xtort/qjot.php

Operating Systems (Linux/Unix)
-----------------------------------------------
Debian GNU/Linux - http://www.debian.org
Fedora - http://fedora.redhat.com
Gentoo Linux - http://www.gentoo.org
Kubuntu/Ubuntu- http://www.ubuntu.com/
Mandriva Linux - http://www.mandriva.com
MEPIS Linux - http://www.mepis.org
Openwall GNU/*/Linux (OWL) - http://www.openwall.com/Owl/
Sante Fe Linux - http://www.santafelinux.com
Slackware Linux - http://www.slackware.com
SUSE Linux - http://www.suse.com
Yellow Dog Linux - http://www.terrasoftsolutions.com/

-CD Bootable OS's-
--------------------------
BartPE - http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/#download
Knoppix - http://www.knoppix.org/
Ultimate Boot CD for windows - http://www.ubcd4win.com/

the full list - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LiveCD

Partition Managers
-----------------------------
Partition Resizer - http://zeleps.com/
Ranish Partition Manager - http://www.ranish.com/part/
TestDisk - http://www.cgsecurity.org/index.html?testdisk.html

PDF Utilities
--------------------------
CutePDF - http://www.cutepdf.com/Products/CutePDF/writer.asp
Foxit PDF Reader - http://www.foxitsoftware.com/pdf/rd_intro.php
Free PDF - http://www.webxd.com/zipguy/frpdfdl.htm
Ghostscript/GSView - http://www.ghostscript.com/
PDF 995 - http://www.pdf995.com/
PDFCreator - http://sourceforge.net/projects/pdfcreator/
PrimoPDF - http://www.primopdf.com/

Photo manipulation and image design
--------------------------------------------
ArtRage - http://www.ambientdesign.com/artrage.html
ColorPic - http://www.iconico.com/colorpic/
Deep Paint - http://www.download.com/Deep-Paint/3000-21...tml?tag=lst-2-7
Delineate - http://delineate.sourceforge.net/
GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program)- http://gimp-win.sourceforge.net/stable.html
iIco - http://www.mintrasystems.com/world/product...duct.php?p=iico
JPEGCrops - http://ekot.dk/programmer/JPEGCrops/
Paint .NET - http://www.eecs.wsu.edu/paint.net/
Photo Plus 6 - http://www.freeserifsoftware.com/commence-...&Check=True
Pixia - http://www.ab.wakwak.com/~knight/
Pixie - http://www.nattyware.com/pixie.html
PhotoFiltre - http://www.photofiltre.com/
Sodipodi - http://www.sodipodi.com/
The Gimp - http://www.gimp.org/
Tuxpaint - http://www.newbreedsoftware.com/tuxpaint

Programming
----------------------
ActivePerl - http://www.activestate.com/Products/ActivePerl
Crimson Editor - http://www.crimsoneditor.com/
Code::Blocks - http://www.codeblocks.org/
Context - http://www.context.cx/
Dev C++ - http://www.bloodshed.net/
Dev Pascal - http://www.bloodshed.net/
Digital Mars C++ - http://www.digitalmars.com/download/freecompiler.html
Eclipse - http://www.eclipse.org/
ExamDiff - http://www.prestosoft.com/ps.asp?page=edp_examdiff
Freepascal - http://www.freepascal.org/
JCreator LE - http://www.jcreator.com/download.htm
jEdit - http://www.jedit.org/
Metapad - http://www.liquidninja.com/metapad/
Notepad++ - http://notepad-plus.sourceforge.net/uk/site.htm
Notepad2 - http://www.flos-freeware.ch/
Open Watcom - http://www.openwatcom.org/
Pelles C - http://www.smorgasbordet.com/pellesc/index.htm
PHP Hypertext Parser - http://www.php.net/
Programmer's Notepad - http://www.pnotepad.org/
PSPad - http://www.pspad.com/
Python - http://www.python.org/
Ruby - http://www.dm4lab.to/~usa/ruby/index_en.html
SharpDevelop - http://www.icsharpcode.net/opensource/sd/
WinMerge - http://winmerge.org/

Pop-up Blockers
-------------------------
Google Toolbar - http://www.google.com/
NoAds - http://www.southbaypc.com/NoAds/
PopUp Stopper - http://www.panicware.com/product_psfree.html
Privoxy - http://www.privoxy.org/
Proxomitron - http://www.proxomitron.info/

RSS Readers
-----------------------
Ablion - http://www.fileheaven.com/Abilon/download/14059.htm
Feedreader - http://www.feedreader.com/
FireANT - http://www.antisnottv.net/
GreatNews - http://www.curiostudio.com/
RssBandit - http://www.rssbandit.org/
RSSOwl - http://www.rssowl.org/
RssReader - http://www.rssreader.com/
RSS Xpress - http://rssxpress.free.fr/en/?page=&idNews=
SharpReader - http://www.sharpreader.net/

System Information and monitoring
-------------------------------------------
CPU-Z - http://www.cpuid.com/cpuz.php
Everest - http://www.softpedia.com/progDownload/EVER...load-16369.html
Gkrellm - http://bill.nalens.com/
Motherboard monitor - http://www.majorgeeks.com/download.php?det=311
Sisoftware Sandra - http://www.sisoftware.net/index.html?dir=d...langx=en&a=
SpeedFan - http://www.almico.com/speedfan.php
Sysmetrix - http://www.xymantix.com
WCPUID - http://hp.vector.co.jp/authors/VA002374/src/download.html

Video codecs
-------------------------
DivX Codec - http://www.divx.com/divx/?src=toptab_divx_from_/index.php
FFDSHOW - http://sourceforge.net/projects/ffdshow
XviD - http://www.xvid.org/

Video players
-------------------------
AC3Filter - http://sourceforge.net/projects/ac3filter
BsPlayer - http://www.bsplayer.org/
Crystal Player - http://www.crystalplayer.com/index.php?page=downloads
Cygwin MPlayer - http://armory.nicewarrior.org/projects/cygmp/
DivX Player - http://www.divx.com/
MaximusDVD - http://www.maximusdvd.com/
Media Player Classic - http://sourceforge.net/project/showfiles.php?group_id=82303
VideoLan - http://www.videolan.org/

Video tools
-----------------------
DVD Shrink - http://www.dvdshrink.org/
DScaler - http://deinterlace.sourceforge.net/
FlasKMPEG - http://www.flaskmpeg.net
GSpot - http://www.headbands.com/gspot/
VirtualDub - http://www.virtualdub.org/
VirtualDubMod - http://sourceforge.net/project/showfiles.php?group_id=65889
Zwei-Stein Video Editor - http://www.thugsatbay.com/software/index.html

Web browsers - note: some are shareware
-----------------------
1X Net Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1184.html
27 Tools In 1 Wichio Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download3641.html
32bit Web Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download964.html
4c vision http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2266.html
Avant Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2346.html
Beonex Communicator http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2067.html
Bluto Home http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1452.html
Browse3D http://www.majorgeeks.com/download876.html
Browsure http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1634.html
Crazy Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download549.html
Fast Browser --- http://www.majorgeeks.com/download553.html
FastStone 4in1 Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download4406.html
GreenBrowser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download3910.html
K-Meleon http://www.majorgeeks.com/download555.html
Leech http://www.majorgeeks.com/download608.html
mascBrowser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1069.html
Maxthon Combo Version (Formerly MyIE2) http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1244.html
Maxthon Lite (Formerly MyIE2) http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1167.html
Mozilla http://www.majorgeeks.com/download556.html or http://www.mozilla.org/products/mozilla1.x/
Mozilla Firefox http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2248.html or http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/
Mozilla FirefoxIE - http://www.firefoxie.net/
Net M@nager http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1475.html
NetCaptor http://www.majorgeeks.com/download930.html
NetDIVE Oxygen http://www.majorgeeks.com/download969.html
NetMyth http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1088.html
Netscape http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1143.html or http://channels.netscape.com/ns/browsers/default.jsp
Networker http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2388.html
Nubonyx Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1810.html
OEMBrowser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download557.html
Opera Without Java http://www.majorgeeks.com/download559.html
Opera - http://www.opera.com
PhaseOut http://www.majorgeeks.com/download3922.html
PQBrowser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download883.html
Scope http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2848.html
Slim Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download1404.html
Slim Browser Lite Edition http://www.majorgeeks.com/download4079.html
Smart Explorer http://www.majorgeeks.com/download875.html
SupremeBrowser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2842.html
UltraBrowser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2063.html
Voyager 2004 http://www.majorgeeks.com/download630.html
Web SurfACE http://www.majorgeeks.com/download992.html
Y2KSA Browser http://www.majorgeeks.com/download970.html

Web servers
------------------------
Abyss - http://abyss.sourceforge.net/
Apache - http://httpd.apache.org/
Sambar - http://www.sambar.com/
Savant - http://savant.sourceforge.net/
SimpleServer:WWW - http://www.analogx.com/contents/download/network/sswww.htm
TinyWeb - http://www.ritlabs.com/tinyweb/index.html
Xitami - http://www.xitami.com/
Xampp - http://www.apachefriends.org/en/xampp.html

Webcam Software
-------------------------
booruWebCam - http://www.booru.net/
Pryme - http://www.hilo.dk/pryme/

Misc. Utilities/Applications
------------------------------------------------
AdShield - http://www.lossepladsen.dk/all4you/TheLostWorld/AdShield.php
AnalogX - http://www.analogx.com/
AppRocket - http://www.candylabs.com/approcket/
Cacheman- http://www.download.com/Cacheman/3000-2248_4-10216523.html
Celestia - http://www.shatters.net/celestia
CCleaner - http://www.ccleaner.com
Contact - http://www.isaacboy.com/contact.htm
CWShredder- http://www.softpedia.com/get/Internet/Popu...WShredder.shtml
Cygwin - http://www.cygwin.com
Dirkey - http://www.protonfx.com/dirkey/
EditPad Lite - http://www.editpadpro.com/editpadlite.html
EssentialPIM - http://www.essentialpim.com/
Folder Size Extension - http://foldersize.sourceforge.net/
History Eraser - http://smartprotector.com/eraser/downloads/historyeraser.exe
HTTrack - http://www.httrack.com/
Inno Setup - http://www.jrsoftware.org/isinfo.php
KeyNote - http://www.tranglos.com/free/keynote.html
Memtest-86 - http://www.memtest86.com
Money Manager - http://www.thezeal.com/software/manager/default.asp
MWSnap - http://www.mirekw.com/winfreeware/mwsnap.html
NetTime - http://nettime.sourceforge.net
Nullsoft Installer - http://www.nullsoft.com/free/nsis
Open Subfolder - http://www.bubblepop.com/opensubfolder/index.html
Peerguardian - http://www.methlabs.org/
Process Explorer (aka ProcessXP) - http://www.sysinternals.com/ntw2k/freeware/procexp.shtml
QuickPar - http://www.quickpar.org.uk/
QuickSFV - http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Mouse/4668/
png2ico - http://winterdrache.de/freeware/png2ico
Restoration - http://www3.telus.net/mikebike/RESTORATION.html
Stickies - http://finiteloop.org/~btaylor/software/stickies/
Sysinternals - http://www.sysinternals.com/
Toolbox - http://www.sil.org/computing/toolbox/
TreeSize - http://www.jam-software.com/freeware/index.shtml
TuneXP - http://www.driverheaven.net/dforce/showdoc.php?doc=txp_about
Turbo Pad - http://turbopad.sourceforge.net/
TweakNow RegCleaner- http://www.download.com/TweakNow-RegCleane...4-10262639.html
Tweak UI- http://www.download.com/Tweak-UI/3000-2341_4-2830963.html
Unlocker - http://ccollomb.free.fr/unlocker/
Vim - http://vim.sourceforge.net
WeathAlert - http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/stu/msowul/?page=weathermain
YourDir - http://www.prim

Wankette 14: Ilocos Sur and Ifugao

Ilocos Sur

For Congressman (1st district):
Bertrand Baterina
Ronald Singson

For Congressman (2nd District)
Ernesto Antolin
Henry Capela
Eric Singson

For Governor
Efren Rafanan
DV Savellano
Roque Sison

For Vice Governor
Estelita Cordero
Jeremias Singson

Ifugao

For Congressman
Solomon Chungalao
John Wesley Dulawan
Placido Wachayna Jr

For Governor
Teddy Baguilat Jr
Eugene Balitang
Glenn Prudenciano

For Vice Governor
Benjamin Cappleman Jr
Nora Dinamling
Noli Maguiwe
Pedro Mayam-o

Empanada

I accompanied Baboo M and Anna Angara, the senatorial daughter, as they campaigned in Abra and Ilocos Sur. While in Vigan, I sneaked a fast snack of empanada at the plaza. Baboo bought a dozen which we had for a late snack. April 12 was the Friday the 13th for Baboo. She missed her sunset by five minutes and the crew at the Cabugao Beach Resort were either rude or clueless. They wanted to charge us “corkage fee” for the empanada. That destroyed her appetite. To assuage her, Anna, Laarni and I had a discussion on empanadas. Anna was surprisingly knowledgable, said that Batac empanada was tastier although she didn’t like the orange crust. I told them what were inside the Batac and Vigan empanadas and also mentioned that Batac is the original. Now I have to correct myself, having read Nordis Newspaper for this week.
Ma. Leoneza Rigonan subbed for the culinary column, Makan a la Pinoy, and talked aobut empanada.
Empanada came from the Spanish “empanar” which menas to wrap and coat in bread. According to Rigonan, Vigan was created in 1946 and Batac followed three years later. She didn’t tell us who the Earl of Sandwich was for Vigan but said that it was Glory Aduana Cocson who concocted the Batac empanada.
Vigan empanada use shredded cabbage, carrots, egg, shrimp and longganisa (this is the extra special as the special has no shrimps). It has a yellow and translucent crust because achuete is used.
Cocson used Batac longganisa, egg, grated papaya, monggo or mung beans and various seasonings. Batac is larger and uses food coloring for that crescent color. It is supposed to be Glory’s favorite color.
Candon offers the Batac longganisa because a Batac woman introduced it in the plaza three years ago, Jun Balbin said.
Empanada is deep-fried and you are offered a simple sauce of sukang Iloko and onions or shallots. Batac offers onions and garlic.
Rigonan, who is from Batac, offers the recipe:
Batac Empanada
Casing: rice flour, orange food coloring, water, oil
Filling: egg, Batac longganisa (or hotdog for those abroad, poor you), green papaya (blanched and squeezed with salt), parboiled monggo (take out the coating if you have all the time), salt, ground pepper, MSG (!?) and garlic

1) Do the crust using the basic pie crust technique but thinner.
2) For the filling, sauté the garlic and add grated papaya, monggo and seasonings. Cook till done.
3) Spoon out two to three tablespoons of filling and add slightly beaten egg and the minced longganisa into the crust.
4) Seal the crust into a crescent. Deep fry for 10 to 15 minutes.
5) The difference with Vigan is the crust siyempre and for filling, it is egg, Vigan longganisa, shredded cabbage and carrots.

M's

Surprise! Seattle is at the top of the Western League but the problem is that they are short of five games. Their Cleveland Indians series was washed out and 2/3 of the Red Sox series. Ichiro is slumping at the start of the year, which is good for his career. Beltre and Sexson are on the roll at the start, which is better than the past year. I think this is our year, M's.

Hawaii

The Hawaiian Punch is gone, felled by too much humanity. All the time, viewers and announcers were commenting on his being tentative and reluctance to go for for the kill. So Brian Viloria goes for another loss. Chavit, a no mean gambler, already warned him back when he was champion. "You lack the killer's instinct," Chavit told Brian during the latter's champion's homecoming which we covered. He was just recovering from a broken heart when he came home. I made a mistake of discovering that in his myspace, which I then quoted. From then on, he made his site restricted to friends. I think he is still recovering from a broken heart and it took all the fight from him.
Don is dead. Don who? Yes, Don Ho is dead. (pathetic laugh)
The guy who sang "Tiny Bubbles" is dead. I remembered that song because we sang to it back when I was in Grade II. Still have that photo. Me and Bernardo Abad, my best friend, and Ferdinand Galace, now an unproductive alcoholic, and Mauricio Cajigan, who is now a woman in New York.
Back when we were Grade II, we sang that as "Tiny bubbles in Hawaii/ Make me feel happy make me feel fine."
We imagined the tiny bubbles in the surf of Hawaii. Only later did I know it was about bubbling wine.
We can forgive the shy Viloria. In fact, I dedicated a poem for him entitled, "The Evolution of the Bolo Punch."
I hope Don Ho will forgive us.
Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles)in the wine (in the wine. Make me happy (make me happy)
Make me feel fine (make me feel fine). Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles)Make me warm all over/ With a feeling that I'm gonna/ Love you till the end of time/ So here's to the golden moon/ And here's to the silver sea/ And mostly here's a toast/ To you and me.

Loser Headline

Inq: Philippines unites in celebrating Pacman's victory

Let us stop looking for heroes in all the wrong places. Sad is a nation that needs heroes. Sadder still when your hero can't even pass the high school equivalency test. That Pacquiao aspires to be a politician makes it more dangerous. Does this mean that our, ehem, your people's hero's hero is a politician so the fucking politicians are our superheroes. History will tell us that politicians brought us to this mess. Cmon Inquirer, of all newspapers, you can do better than this.

Wankette 13: Political Affiliations the Hard Way

We are in the thick of campaigning and with all the turncoatism going on, I don’t know what parties the candidates are running under. They gave their introductions and I am now more perplexed as ever. As politicians, we must not be surprised that some of them are not saying the truth. What is truth anyway, you might ask, and I will judiciously kick your butt.
But here are the certainties we can gather from what Artemio, Butch, Choy, Dick, Ernie, Frank and Gerry said:
Every statement made by a Kampi member was false.
Every statement made by an LP was true.
Statements made by an LDP were alternately true and false, in that order.
Statements made by an NPC were alternately false and true, in that order.

The jobs of the candidates are, in no particular order, jueteng operator, priest, broadcaster, lawyer, police general, actor and congressman.

These are their statements:
Artemio:
1) I am not a Kampi or LDP.
2) None of us belong to the same party as Butch.
Bert:
1) I am not an NPC.
2) Gerry is an LP.
Choy:
1) I am a Kampi.
2) Dick belongs to the same party as the actor.
3) The police general is not a Kampi.
Dick:
1) I am an LP.
2) Butch is an NPC.
Ernie:
1) I am an NPC.
2) Gerry’s party is different from the priest’s.
3) Andy is the jueteng operator.
Frank:
1) I am not an LDP.
2) The lawyer is an NPC.
3) Andy and the congressman belong to different parties.
Gerry:
1) I am an LDP.
2) Dick is a Kampi.

What are their party affiliations and their jobs? Frank is an LP.

Limericks

There was a cono from old Iloilo
Whose lineage was royal through and through
This is rather sad
For not only his blood
But even his semen was blue

There was a young dancer from Manilla
Who flavored her organ with vanilla
The taste was so fine
Men and beast stood in line
Including a stray armadillo

A poet of the UP Writing Center
Had a tool of enormous diameter
But it wasn’t the size
That brought tears to her eyes.
Twas the rhythm – dactylic hexameter.

There’s a politician named Pings
Who bragged about women, drugs and things.
But his secret desire
Was a cadet in the choir
With a bottom like jelly on springs.

There’s a cute politician named Glo
Who filled her you-know-what with glue.
She said with her characteristic chagrin,
“If I paid so much to get in
They’ll have to pay more to get out."

Tim Yap, our dashing social columnist
Went to a costume ball by Greenpeace.
He was draped as a tree
Having failed to foresee
Dogs, cats and guests making pila to piss.

Playboy

In 1986 psychologist John Rosegrant of Michigan analyzed 374 centerfolds and concluded that the more bush a Playmate shows, the more likely it is she’s wearing shoes. A team led by a psychologist from Ohio State suggested that sexual interest in the female foot peaks during epidemics of STI or sexually transmitted infections like AIDS. So researchers counted the bare feet shown in every issue of Playboy, Adam, Club, Fix, Live, penthouse etc over the past 30 years and found an average of seven photos with bare feet in 1965 jumped to more than 20 per issue in 1994. In 1993 Devendra Singh of the University of Texas analyzed 312 centerfolds and reported that their waist-to-hip ratios had remained steady over the decades at 0.70. In 2002 two psychologists at the University of Wisconsin analyzed 524 centerfolds and disputed Singh’s figure. Also in 2002, a researcher in Vienna analyzed 577 centerfolds and said that their waist-to-hip ratios had increased over the years. This year, scientists of Benguet State University will try to reconcile all these data for free as long as Playboy send them the 600 centerfold models to be measured

Time and Numbers

They say that the difference between Nora A and Vilma S with regards to Physics is that Nora has no concept of time and Vilma has no concept of numbers among many other things. They should be members of a Brazilian tribe which indeed has no time and number concept in their language. They also have no history, subordinate clauses and no descriptive words. Der Speigel wrote:

The Pirahã use only three pronouns. They hardly use any words associated with time and past tense verb conjugations don't exist. Apparently colors aren't very important to the Pirahãs, either -- they don't describe any of them in their language. But of all the curiosities, the one that bugs linguists the most is that Pirahã is likely the only language in the world that doesn't use subordinate clauses. Instead of saying, "When I have finished eating, I would like to speak with you," the Pirahãs say, "I finish eating, I speak with you."

Equally perplexing: In their everyday lives, the Pirahãs appear to have no need for numbers. During the time he spent with them, Everett never once heard words like "all," "every," and "more" from the Pirahãs. There is one word, "hói," which does come close to the numeral 1. But it can also mean "small" or describe a relatively small amount -- like two small fish as opposed to one big fish, for example. And they don't even appear to count without language, on their fingers for example, in order to determine how many pieces of meat they have to grill for the villagers, how many days of meat they have left from the anteaters they've hunted or how much they demand from Brazilian traders for their six baskets of Brazil nuts.

Wankette 12: Beer

This should not be taken seriously by our sin tax legislators but a study showed that violence decreases when the price of beer _______
a) rises
b) remains the same
c) goes down.
If you answer c, you are a moralist but you are also right.

A research report published in Applied Economics has found that the number of patients with violence-related injuries treated in hospital emergency rooms is related to the price of beer. The researchers examined admissions to 58 hospital accident and emergency departments over 5 years and found that as the price of beer increased, violence-related injuries decreased. In general, studies have found that alcohol consumption increases both the risk of being a victim of violence and the perpetrator of it. This means that beer in Abra and Kalinga should be sold very expensively? Hey, what about gin?

Trees

Dramatizing newsprint and trees

Why Women Prefer Us. Ehem.

“It’s popular among male academics to say that females preferred smarter guys,” Dr. Arnold said. “Such genes will be quickly selected in males because new beneficial mutations will be quickly apparent.” Several profound consequences follow from the fact that men have only one copy of the many X-related brain genes and women two. One is that many neurological diseases are more common in men because women are unlikely to suffer mutations in both copies of a gene. Another is that men, as a group, “will have more variable brain phenotypes,” Dr. Arnold writes, because women’s second copy of every gene dampens the effects of mutations that arise in the other. Greater male variance means that although average IQ is identical in men and women, there are fewer average men and more at both extremes. Women’s care in selecting mates, combined with the fast selection made possible by men’s lack of backup copies of X-related genes, may have driven the divergence between male and female brains. The same factors could explain, some researchers believe, why the human brain has tripled in volume over just the last 2.5 million years.

If you can't understand this (read the whole thing in NYT), you are in the other extreme.

Vonnegut

New York Times obituary on the great Vonnegut:

Kurt Vonnegut, whose dark comic talent and urgent moral vision in novels like “Slaughterhouse-Five,” “Cat’s Cradle” and “God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater” caught the temper of his times and the imagination of a generation, died last night in Manhattan. He was 84 and had homes in Manhattan and in Sagaponack on Long Island.

His death was reported by his wife, the author and photographer Jill Krementz, who said he had been hospitalized after suffering irreversible brain injuries as a result of a fall several weeks ago.

Mr. Vonnegut wrote plays, essays and short fiction. But it was his novels that became classics of the American counterculture, making him a literary idol, particularly to students in the 1960s and ’70s. Dog-eared paperback copies of his books could be found in the back pockets of blue jeans and in dorm rooms on campuses throughout the United States.

Katie Couric's Library Card

Katie Couric's ghostwriter was fired because she plagiarized a column in the Wall Street Journal. Slate now says it's not only the ghostwriter's fault but the whole system that should be at fault. Because Couric's story started with a personal recollection that should be hers but is in fact, that of the fired writer. Then Couric segued into the columnist's story. Read the Slate article.

Wankette 11

The dancing girls was started in Ilocos by Luis Chavit Singson. He called them the "Chavit Girl's" and they were pre-nubile girls from Baguio City. There were some boys at first but as the days passed, they were left in the kangkongan. It was the Chavit Girls they wanted or maybe they were what the politicians wanted because I've been to provincial "Open Bikini Meets" and the loudest and yes, lustiest, cheers were for the guys in T-backs. No, the gays were quiet. It was the housewives and the young girls screaming. But in politics, men had to reassert their role, at least in Ilocos. The girls dance every after two speeches. This is to make the people stay. If the big fish (congressman or governor) have two or three places to go during a village or town rally, they would be the first to speak. And the girls stay. Or the big fish sometimes have two dancing troupes and one is made to stay while the other joins. In Agoo, the gubernatorial candidate has a troupe and the congressman has his own and the mayor has hers. So for the first part of the program, all three were there and in the end, there was only one as the congressman and governor left for other engagements. The dancing girls sometimes dominate the scene that the gubernatorial candidate spent the first part of his speech talking about them.

Movies!

Ed Cabagnot would like to inform the jaded public that he would be showing rare films at the UP Baguio at the U.P. BAGUIO SUMMER ARTS WORKSHOP 2007's "Paano Ba Talaga Manood Ng Pelikula?" Special Edition from April 16 to 20. The films he would be showing and discussing include GAWAD CCP 2007 Documentaries like Portrait: Rediscovering a Filipino Film Classic (2nd Prize) by Butch Nolasco (20:00 mins) and Syokoy (3rd Prize) by Rey Defante Gibraltar (1:14:00 mins); Transcendental Progression (1st Prize) by Bryan Quesada (9:00 mins); Mga Bagay Na May Pakpak (2nd Prize) by Katrin Maria Escay & Moshe Ladanga (12 mins); Sakdal Laya (3rd Prize) by Tey Clamor (15 mins) and It Feels Good To Be Alive (Honorable Mention) by Antoinette Jadaone (2:49 mins); Early Avant-Garde Cinema (UN CHIEN ANDALOU by Luis Bunuel/1928/29, REGEN by Joris Ivers/1929, UBERFALL by Erno Metzner/1929, EL ETOILLE DE MER by Man Ray/1924/1928, etc); The Films of Maya Deren (MESHES OF THE AFTERNOON, AT LAND, A STUDY IN CHOREOGRAPHY FOR THE CAMERA, etc);AWAD CCP 2007 Short Features like Carpool (1st Prize) by Jerrold Tayog (10:00 mins); Ang Pagbabalik (2nd Prize) by Publio Briones III (13:00 mins); Ikasiyam na Palapag (3rd Prize) by Anna Isabelle Matutina (12:00 mins); Saling Pusa (3rd Prize) by Antoinette Jadaone (5:20 mins); One-Man Show (Honorable Mention) by Glenn Ituriaga & Dahna Sarmiento (15:00 mins)and Doble Vista (Honorable Mention) by Nisha Alicer & Nix Lanas (25:25 mins); documentaries like Medalawna (1st Prize) by Michael Christian Cardoz & Lorena Flor Dating (15:00 mins) and Walai (2nd Prize) by Adjani Arumpac (1:00:00 mins). Also to be shown are Maximo Olivares, Big Time, Donsol and Rotonda from Cinemalaya. Want some more? There are also samplings of award-winning shorts.




Not included: The Walang Dangals. Choy and Ed's sugarbowl nipples

McFuneral and Pamela Anderson Yumburger

Time Magazine Takes on Your Favorite Fastfood:

Jollibee, with more than 1,400 stores in the Philippines and 11 branches in California, makes McDonald's look like a funeral parlor. Its mascot is a jolly bee, and the restaurants are blindingly happy, all giant, shiny yellow blocks, as if they were designed by an architect from Legoland. Even if you gave Walt Disney all the ecstasy in the world, he would not have come up with this. America, according to Jollibee, is clearly a place of childlike optimism. Jollibee's two most popular items are called the Yumburger and the Chickenjoy. The Yumburger has a weird, plasticky dollop of French dressing in the middle. The crisped-up French fries are dry inside and taste as if
they weren't just double fried but dunked in oil four or five times. The fried chicken is halfway decent, but the inflated, happy fakeness of Jollibee makes you feel that the only American its Filipino owners have ever seen is Pamela Anderson.

Thumb Rules

Here's some Rules of Thumbs I got from the book, Rules of Thumb compield by Tom Parker

ANNOUNCING THE NEWS It takes about one minute to read fifteen double-spaced typewritten lines on the air, or about four seconds per line. Charles Osgood, CBS news commentator

SPELUNKING You should have at least four people for any caving expedition. If someone is injured, two people can go for help while one stays with the injured caver. That way, no one is in the cave alone. David McClurg, speleologist

SELLING THINGS DOOR TO DOOR After knocking, stand at least four feet from the door.

TALKING TO FOREIGNERS When you are conversing in a native language with people who don’t speak it fluently, assume that they understand about half as much as they look like they understand. Stephen Cudhea, English instructor in Japan

BUYING BATTERIES In most cases a lithium battery will last as long as four alkaline batteries and an alkaline battery will last as long as ten carbon-zinc batteries. W. Price


CRACKING KNUCKLES After cracking your knuckles, it takes thirty minutes for the vaporized joint fluid to go back into position, which it must do before you can crack them again. Jim Crissman, veterinary pathologist

MAINTAINING YOUR WEIGHT You can estimate the approximate number of calories it takes to maintain your weight by multiplying your current weight by fifteen. To lose or gain weight, alter your calorie intake by 20 percent in the desired direction F. Jill Charboneau, editor

SHOOTING AT HELICOPTERS North Vietnamese ground troops use their thumbs to determine whether they could reach enemy aircraft with hand held weapons. If an airplane or helicopter was bigger than a thumb held at arms length, they could bring it down with ground fire. D. Tanner, Fort Wayne

Powerlines

You know all those dangling cablelines here and siyempre in Manila and elsewhere. If you pass by Magsaysay Avenue, you would have seen about 30 cables supported by one wooden post. Or was it the cables supporting the post?
Well, look what a Thai ad agency did for a popular shampoo. Very clever.

May Ann Licudine

And more

Wankette 10: THOUGHT UNDONE: A Tale of Two Dictators: Musharraf, Mugabe and the Dangers of Absolute Power. From Three Quarks

It's often best to reflect on certain issues once the storm is over and the dust has settled. I'm going to try it on the recent events surrounding two dictators and their dictatorships, much in the news recently: Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe and Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan.

Both have much in common. Nothing perhaps more significant than the hope and optimism the two generated for their people on coming to power. Mugabe overthrew the colonial British, while Musharraf overthrew the colonial locals (corrupt, decadent, feudal democrats). Both promised freedom and development to their nations. Both glowed and basked in the glory of their place in the sun, until things began to unravel. And with no checks and balances on their power, the unraveling took on a more dangerous form. And their lies the danger of absolute power, never mind the benevolent smokescreen.

Governance is a difficut art and often even the best tend to come up short. Dictators are no different. Except that we can't change them. Dictators tend to be liberal as long as you agree with them. Any serious opposition, and they tend to want to crush it, never mind the democratic intent. Mugabe hasn't turned violent or suppressive recently vividly depicted by the press photographs of the battered face of Morgan Tsvangirai. He crushed a revolt by the Ndebele speaking people of Matabeleland way back in the 1980s. Musharraf too has gone about ruthlessly suppressing regional opposition, most famously in the state ordered assassination of prominent Baloch leader Nawab Bugti.

Freedom of the press, or other institutions of the state, like the judiciary for instance, is another sham in these regimes. Freedom is about the same as for an animal in a zoo, okay in confined spaces. Mugabe feels free to expel, intimidate or even kill the press reporters he doesn't fancy. Musharraf while not so bad (but then he's been around for less time), too doesnt think highly of independent opinion. The Chief Justice of Pakistan recently found out the hard way, earning the sack for questioning the military regime on its human rights record. The media which backed the judge saw their offices vandalised, and freedom clamped down upon. One of the more subtle methods being the slow withdrawal of government advertisements from prominent anti-government newspapers, thus choking their resources. The state can also put pressure on other private actors like industrialists to follow their No-Ad byline in such a system.

Oh, and lets not forget the false enemies, the straw men which keep the likes of Mugabe and Musharraf going, well past their 'best before' dates. It would be the 'white man' or the long gone British for Mugabe, or India and its intentions to nuke Pakistan, for Musharraf. The trouble is that they ignore the trouble within, and deflect attention towards the irrelevant. Yet, some people buy it, I wonder why?! Or maybe it isn't such a wonder. Its just simple self-interest. Those small groups who profit from the regime within the country are collaborators, and the rest suffer from the age old problem of collective action: who's going to organise them cohesively? Important actors outside the country are relevant too. Powerful countries back these regimes for their own self-interest. Nigeria and South Africa continue to prop up Mugabe fearing an improbable but possible backlash on their domestic politics, while the US and the West does it with Pakistan, allegedly fighting terror together, more likely like dosuing a fire with oil and then fighting it with more fire. The rest, like in the UN are vetoed, and some like in teh Commonwealth are simply impotent.

So the regimes survive and prosper as the people suffer. Yet the dictator's unshakable belief in themselves ( hubris if you ask me) to be seen as the 'true democrats' doesn't seem to blinker. The only instrument to prove the point seems to be a sham election ,or a ridiculous referendum, which give people no real choices, either because their is no opposition (or they have tapes on their mouths), or because the questions are so cleverly phrased (in referendums) that they have only two answers: yes and yes!

So don't ever be fooled by a dictator because he'll get you by the throat later, if not sooner. It's only a matter of time before the whole edifice of state begins to crumble. It has already happened in Zimbabwe. One feels that it may be a matter of time in Pakistan.

The only rays of hope: civil society groups. Let's everyone back the Catholic bishops of Zimbabwe who have taken the lead in calling for free and fair elections in that country (or alternatively for the incumbent regime to face a mass revolt). Let's everyone back the lawyers of Pakistan who have taken to the streets demanding greater freedom and accountability for the judiciary and for the rest of the country, from the military regime in Pakistan. A utopian hope probably. They should actually demand that the military return to the barracks or that the people will push them there.

It isn't all wishful thinking. Nepal has rid itself of an autocratic and dictatorial king through a popular uprising. Ukraine had its Orange Revolution. Georgia had its own Rose revolution. The people must rise, and they must be backed politically across the globe, to restore democracy. Despite its many flaws, it is still the best political system. And despite their many mirages, dicatorships are really an unending desert of hopelessness.

It's time everyone recognised that. Don't even spare a second to praise Mugabe, Musharraf, and the like. You give them a hand, they will take your arm, then your limbs, and then everything.

Posted by Dhiraj Nayyar

Rosy Cheeks

Lowlanders know you are from Baguio when you come to their place because you have “rosy cheeks.” That is because highlanders’ blood is richer in hemoglobin and their hearts and chests are larger in order to process the thinner oxygen supply found in the mountains. I don’t know about chest size but heart size is true. We are more loving and emphatic. That is why climbing Mount Pulag is so easy but watch when the Manila people go up there. They experience fatigue, insomnia, headaches, stomach cramps, rapid pulse and chronic dehydration. This is known as mountain sickness. Also because higher means colder, there are other differences. They made a study among Eskimos and those living in much colder climes are stockier with shorter limbs, longer torsos and rounder heads. I don’t know if this is the reason why many of those in Buguias look like Eskimos. Hmmm. The less body surface exposed to the environment, the greater the conservation of body heat. Also the metabolism of someone living in colder areas is higher than the beachcomber. Those living in hot climes have the lowest metabolism because they need fewer calories to keep their body warm. That’s why they feel the cold more intensely than a Baguio boy.

Yankees?

Hey, we have not yet started but a mathematician has already predicted that the New York Yankees would win the World Series. The mathematician, Bruce Bukiet of the New Jersey Institute of Technology (who is also a Mets fan) developed and has used and updated for the past six years to predict how many games each team will win during the 162-game season. Here's his forecast:
AL East: New York Yankees
AL Central: Cleveland Indians
AL West: Los Angeles Angels
AL wildcard: either the Boston Red Sox, the Toronto Blue Jays or the Minnesota Twins
NL East: New York Mets
NL Central: close race between the Houston Astros and the St. Louis Cardinals
NL West: San Diego Padres
NL wildcard: Philadelphia Phillies

How to Laugh

Are you a victim of "He who laughs last didn't get the joke"? While sometimes we need an extra few seconds to figure out what's so funny, standing there with a puzzled look on your face while everyone else is laughing can be rather awkward. Here's how to join the fun without sounding fake!
Steps
1. Find those things that always make you laugh, whether it's a television program, hilarious movie moments, comedic books, or a funny story. Observe your laughter during these times. Do you have a deep, loud laugh? A quiet one, followed by a gasp for air? Do you clutch your stomach? Close your eyes? Throw your head back?
2. Practice remembering those things during times when they are not present. Recount the time you fell flat on your face in front of someone you liked, and let yourself laugh at the situation, even while you're preparing breakfast or taking a shower. Recognize your natural laugh shining through.
3. Pay attention to your surroundings so you can judge when it is appropriate to laugh. When people are jovial and smiling, it's probably a good time to laugh. But when people are being serious or somber, it's not a good idea. If you see everyone else laughing, join the party and start laughing yourself! Even if you don't know exactly why you're laughing, you can call on whatever you thought of in Step 1 and feel like part of the crowd.
4. Relax! Make sure you aren't trying too hard or forcing yourself to laugh. You'll end up trying to pinpoint the exact time to start laughing, and that will distract you from the actual joke. Laughing on cue will help you feel comfortable until you actually get the joke. But if you end up spending the whole time just pretending to have fun, you'll never end up actually having a good time!
5. Laugh about how you didn't laugh on time. Make a funny story out of it, telling your friends how you didn't understand the joke. Making fun of yourself in good nature is one of the best ways to have a great laugh.

Wankette 9: Diasen

Kalinga Vice-Governor Rommel Diasen, the candidate in the gubernatorial race here, was shot dead while delivering a speech in the barangay hall of Magnao village in the capital town of Tabuk at about 1 pm today. A lone gunman shot Diasen at close range, initial report said. Diasen was reportedly shot at the mouth, chest and nape. An old woman was also injured by a stray bullet. The gunman was able to escape but there are reportedly witnesses. Initial reprots also said that the gunman used a 45 caliber pistol. Diasen (Lakas CMP) is meeting Rep. Laurence Wacnang (NPC Lakas Kampi LP) and Warren Luyaben in the gubernatorial race. Diasen was expected to file his candidacy for congressman but decided to fight Wacnang, who is on his three terms as congressman. Incumbent Gov. Dominador Belac earlier bowed out from the expected contest with Wacnang and Diasen was the last minute candidate.

Wankette 8: Ogden Nash

I forgot about it but I bought a volume of Ogden Nash's verses for P10 in Diplomat Bookstore. Nash was famous in the 50s and 60s. Here's one of his poems for you people who don't vote but diss a lot those who get elected.

ELECTION DAY IS A HOLIDAY

People on whom I do not bother to dote
Are people who do not bother to vote.
Heaven forbid that they should be exempt
For contumely, obloquy and various kinds of contempt.
Some of them like Toscanini and some like Rudy Vallee,
But all of them take about as much interest in their right to ballot as their right to ballet.
They haven’t voted since the heyday of Miss Russell (Lillian)
And excuse themselves by saying What’s the difference of one vote in fifty million?
They have such refined and delicate palates
That they discover no one worthy of their ballots,
And then when someone terrible gets elected
They say There, that’s just what I expected!
And they go around for four years spouting discontented criticisms
And contented witticisms,
And then when somebody to oppose the man they oppose gets nominated
They say Oh golly golly he’s the kind of man I’ve always abominated,
And they discovered that if you don’t take time out to go to the polls
You can manage very nicely to get through thirty-six holes.
Oh let us cover these clever people very conspicuously with loathing,
For they are un-citizens in citizens’ clothing.
They attempt to justify their negligence
On the grounds that no candidate appeals to people of their intelligence,
But I am quite sure that if Abraham Lincoln (Rep.) ran against Thomas Jefferson(Dem.)
Neither man would be appealing enough to squeeze a vote out of them.

To make it Pinoy change Lillian Russel to Lillian Laing

Welcome to Loo

Some of us have American surnames because our great grandfathers adopted the names of their teachers or employers. So we have Gabriel Baban Keith because there was a Keith who was the first police chief of Baguio. Then there is Pitapit Clapp and so forth. But it is so Cordilleran to enunciate these names according to our will. So we have former Anthony Wooden whose family name is pronounced “Wo-o-den.” Harley told me about his classmate whose family name is Young but is pronounced “yo-ung.” And then if you're going to Sagada, you must have seen that sign "Welcome to Loo" and you just have that urge to take a leak. Well, Loo is not the London W.C. (water closet) but the Loo Valley, known for cabbage and patatas. Loo is pronounced Loo-oo.

Ed and The Ten Commandments

For almost thirty years, Baguio Correspondents and Broadcasters Club had been holding the media camp first in front of UC and then later near the Skating Rink of Burnham Park. They stopped camping in front of UC was because of their members decided to hang himself there. Consider it cursed, said Peppot Ilagan so they encamped to another site which later became Camp Peppot when he died. It is often mistaken for Kampupot. From Holy Wednesday till Easter Sunday, the media of Baguio are there in various stages of inebriation. Sometimes presidents would come. This year, I saw Chavit, Pichay and Anne Dominique Coseteng, who has a house near the Little Flower Novitiate. Every year if he can make it, Richard Carino, the dashing councilor, would play his organ. March Fianza and Pacyay would sing folk songs with him. We miss Conrad Marzan because he has remarried and is now in Las Vegas. We just miss Steve Hamada, Bagnos Cudiamat and Willie Cacdac who was in charge of the cooking. Piltel would lend a phone. I asked for Wifi to no avail. Every Good Friday some of the young media thought they can beat Mondax in gambling. They never can. Pacyay lost P2,000 once. Eli R stopped playing with Mondax and consoled himself that he had better chances with women. Beer has been institutionalized and sometimes San Miguel gives those crazy hard liquor promo which are engulfed anyway, thank you. Swanny D is busy campaigning for Angara so he made himself scarce. This year we have a TV courtesy of Sky and this Good Friday, the media decided to watch Ten Commandments. And what misfortune they had when Ed Cabagnot, the demonic head of the Film Department of CCP decided to visit. He was just vamping on the Ten Commandments and naming all the glamorous actresses and choreographers in that movie. The parting of the Red Sea won the Oscar for Special Effects, while the worship of the Golden Calf owed something to opera staging of Saint-Saëns' Samson et Dalila. I, too, didn’t notice it but to make Ten Commandments at the height of Hollywood Glamour is just so un-PC. The glamorous and oiled Egyptian slaves. That Great Hollywood Backlot. Ed said it's Montana but the others must have been made in Hollywood. I read somewhere about Cecil B. DeMille Lost City
These are other stats on Ten Commandments:

Height of the set - 120 feet
Width of the set - 720 feet
Statuary in the set - 1,000,000 pounds
Number of construction workers employed - 1,500
Lumber in the set - 500,000 feet
Amount of nails - 25,000 pounds
Amount of reinforcing cables - 75 miles
Number of actors on the site - 3,500
Number of cooks - 125
Number of sandwiches per day - 7,500
Number of oranges per day - 2,500
Number of apples per day - 2,500
Number of chariots built for the film - 300
Number of animals on the site - 5,000
Number of pounds of hay per day - 20,000

Charlton Heston is Moses but Ed said Yul Brynner's Pharaoh Rameses II virtually launched that condom. Edward G. Robinson is Dathan and Yvonne De Carlo is Sephora with the flower on her hair. Sir Cedric Hardwicke is Pharaoh Seti I, Nina Foch is Bithiah and Vincent Price is Baka, the Golden Calf.

Lent

How weird it is that, even as we speak, three firetrucks stopped in front of me to contain a fire which turned out to be all smoke. The Porta Vage Supermarket has been engulfed in smoke and many of the tourists panicked and went up to Baguio Cathedral. There they were met by the Stations of the Cross.

Wonkette 7: Fear as your Campaign Strategy

Katukayon Frank Franedi talks about fear in the collective consciousness. Fear plays a key role in twenty-first century consciousness. Increasingly, we seem to engage with various issues through a narrative of fear. You could see this trend emerging and taking hold in the last century, which was frequently described as an ‘Age of Anxiety’. But in recent decades, it has become more and better defined, as specific fears have been cultivated.

Wankette 6: Golden Rule for a Politician's Wife

Wankette 5

Ladies and germs, the person who goes into politics as a business has no business going into politics. I know a politician who is too old to run for office – he walks. I voted five times but they can’t bother me. I’m not a citizen. The trouble with politicians is that they take on the floor only to hit the ceiling. Anyone who says he understands international affairs these days is two weeks behind the news. This politician has announced that he perfectly understands the questions of the day. The trouble is he doesn’t like the answers. All the candidates are ready and willing. Now if we can only find one who’s able. The polls are places where you stand in line for a chance to know who will spend your money. The Congress is shrewd. First they put a big tax on liquor and cigarettes. Then they raise all taxes to drive people to drink and smoke. Palakpak naman diyan. Thank you.

The Topnotcher

In 1998, when the University of Cordilleras (then known as Baguio Colleges Foundation) produced its first bar topnotcher with Janet Abuel, some of the law students printed T-shirts with messages like “We’re a little known school but we’re Number 1” or “University of What?”
Nine years later, UC produced its second Bar topnotcher but the school is now more prepared.
They fetched Noel Neil Malimban with a Cordillera dance troupe in g-strings and tapis and serenaded him with gongs.
“We no longer have the inferiority complex of being a law school outside Manila,” said Jesus Salvosa, board chairman of UC.
Malimban admitted that he had been parrying answers about his secret of topping the Bar.
“I don’t have a secret actually. I just believed that I prayed harder than everyone else,” the diminutive Malimban said.
Like every pious pilgrim at this time of year, Malimban said that he went to all the major churches in Manila and Baguio while reviewing for the law examination.
“I regularly went to Manaoag Church during weekends while in Baguio. Then I went to Quiapo Church while in Manila and at the Manila Cathedral after the Bar,” he said.
“The Lord is good. I don’t deserve this but God’s grace gave me the strength to take the exam and the courage to wait for the results,” he said.
He also said that his only other secret is taking multivitamins.
“I probably overdosed on that,” he said.
Salvosa said that their students actually performed as well as the top law schools in Manila yet they only have a fraction of their resources.
“The tuition here is five times less than the top schools in Manila,” he said.
“But our teachers are one of the best north of Manila if not among the best in the country,” he said.
Reynaldo U. Agranzamendez said that they are expecting an influx of law students this schoolyear.
UC is planning to divide their law classes into three blocs (morning, afternoon and evening) to maximize the students who can enter the school.
Salvosa said that they taught their students to work particularly with grace under pressure.
“We put them in situations where they can excel under pressure,’ he said.
He also said that mastery of English is another key for their good performance in Law.
Malimban was born in Slaughterhouse Compound here in Baguio on August 19. 1975. He studied at the Baguio Patriotic School and later at Saint Louis University Elementary and Boy’s High. He also went to SLU for his accountancy course.
He placed 14th in the CPA exam.
Malimban, the youngest of three children, resigned from an accountancy firm in Manila to take up law in UC.
He aligned himself with some of the accountancy firms here while taking Law.
Since April 1 last year, he isolated himself in his room with all his law books within reach.

GMA's Birthday

Except for Manila Bulletin, all the other newspapers will have no issue on Good friday and Black Saturday. So those media covering PGMA's birthday either have nothing else to do, habitual tsismosos, or perverts who are hoping that there would be a fuck-up somehow. As for the rest like Mau here, it's the beach.

Wankette 4

If you are personally canvassing door-to-door within two weeks of the election and three of ten voters both recognize you and give you positive feedback, you will probably win.

If more than 40 percent of the likely voters have a favorable impression on the incumbent six months before an election, then he or she is probably unbeatable.

When you are canvassing door-to-door you can optimize your “time per voter” by spending no more than twenty to thirty seconds with each person you meet. Most people will decide whether they like you within that time and most will want to get back to whatever they’re doing when you interrupted them. You should, however, take time to discuss issues with the interested persons.

Half Jokes

From Mila Aguilar. Inalis ko lang yung kay Johnny Flavier kasi aawayin ka talaga sa Baguio.


ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
GMA: half !!..

Sablayisms

Sablayisms

1. Been there, been that
2. When it rains, it’s four
3. Guys, let’s call it tonight!
4. What are we in powerful?
5. You want to have your cake and bake it too!
6. Every cloud has a silver lightning.
7. Burn the bridge when you get there.
8. It’s as brand as new
9. What’s your interior motive? (Papatayin ako ni Willi Pascual kapag nalaman ito)
10. a. Mamsir, take out or take in?
b. Mamsir, for here or for go?
c. Mamsir, to go or to in?

Smoke and Gasoline

You must have watched in the movies how a lit cigarette would engulf everything soaked in gasoline. It turned out to be false, Guardian said.

James Randerson, science correspondent
Tuesday February 27, 2007
The Guardian

From Hitchcock's The Birds to The Usual Suspects, it has been one of the staple cliches of Hollywood: the cigarette butt tumbling in slow motion into a pool of petrol unleashing a conflagration.

But if you find yourself tied up and doused in petrol don't worry if all your assailant has is a lighted cigarette: scientists have proved you won't end up as a human fireball.

"On the face of it it's a pretty simple problem," said Richard Tontarski, an expert in forensic fire at the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms research laboratory in Beltsville, Maryland. Cigarettes burn at around 700C (1,292F) and the ignition temperature of petrol is 246C. "But it just isn't that simple," he said.

Article continues
He began looking into the problem because arson suspects frequently claim a petrol fire was started by accident. "The person claims, 'I accidentally threw gasoline on my girlfriend, she was smoking and she burst into flames'," he said.

To find out whether this was possible, he and colleagues experimented. They dropped burning cigarettes into trays of petrol. They sprayed a fine mist of petrol at a lighted cigarette. They even used a vacuum device to produce the higher temperature (900-950C) of a cigarette being sucked. In more than 2,000 attempts the petrol did not ignite.

Dr Tontarski can only speculate why. The layer of ash on the tobacco, perhaps, or the petrol vapour convected away from the hottest part of the cigarette.

So is he in touch with Hollywood to demand it drops the explosive movie cliche? "Actually they are pretty well aware of it. They don't care."

Type

New Yorker is nostalgic with typing. Nietzsche used a typewriter. This is hard to imagine, but in the effort to stem his migraines and his incipient blindness—symptoms, some scholars say, of an advanced case of syphilis—he bought one of the new contraptions. So did Mark Twain, and he was the first important writer to deliver a typewritten manuscript, “Life on the Mississippi,” to a publisher. Henry James also had a typewriter, and a secretary, to whom he dictated. A long review of a book actually.

Baseball is Back

King Felix whiffed 12 A's in their inaugural game against Oakland in Major League Baseball. Mariners produced the only "itlog" in the league. Great start! Yankees also won.
As always, the monkey is SKYCABLE, the most stupid cable network in the world. Hand us the BALL!!!!

KITT

Remember KITT, the car that can talk, jump, throw flames and turned Hoff into a dubious superstah? Restored to its debut-season glory, the modified black 1982 Pontiac Trans Am is offered at $149,995 at a Dublin auto dealership. Although it cannot achieve the 300 mph speeds that KITT reached, soar 50 feet in the air or throw smoke bombs, key features of the star car are intact. Perhaps most important, the red scanner light on the nose glows and makes a humming noise. And if you want to take a very good picture while riding KITT, here's a tutorial.

Wankette

Not to antagonize "Wonkette," the influential political blog in the U.S., we decided to rename our political blog within a blog the Wankette. This is our guiding light:

Food for Thought

As the fight against childhood obesity escalates, the issue of food advertising to children has come under increasing scrutiny. Policymakers in Congress, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), and agencies such as the Institute of Medicine (IOM) have called for changes in the advertising landscape, and U.S. food and media industries are developing their own voluntary initiatives related to advertising food to children. To help inform this debate, the Kaiser Family Foundation today released the largest study ever conducted of TV food advertising to children.

The study, Food for Thought: Television Food Advertising to Children in the United States, combines content analysis of TV ads with detailed data about children’s viewing habits, to provide an estimate of the number and type of TV ads seen by children of various ages. The study found that tweens ages 8-12 see the most food ads on TV, an average of 21 ads a day, or more than 7,600 a year. Teenagers see slightly fewer ads, at 17 a day, for a total of more than 6,000 a year. For a variety of reasons -- because they watch less TV overall, and more of their viewing is on networks that have limited or no advertising, such as PBS and Disney -- children ages 2-7 see the least number of food ads, at 12 food ads a day, or 4,400 a year.

For each age group studied, food was the top product seen advertised. Thirty-two percent of all ads seen by 2-7 year olds were for food, while 25% of ads seen by 8-12 year olds and 22% of ads seen by 13-17 year olds were for food. Of all genres on TV, shows specifically designed for children under 12 have the highest proportion of food advertising (50% of all ad time).

“Children of all ages see thousands of food ads a year, but tweens see more than any other age group,” said Vicky Rideout, vice president and director of the Program for the Study of Entertainment Media and Health at the Kaiser Family Foundation. “Since tweens are at an age where they’re just becoming independent consumers, understanding what type of advertising they are exposed to is especially important.”

Types of Food Advertised. Of all food ads in the study that target children or teens, 34% are for candy and snacks, 28% are for cereal, and 10% are for fast foods. Four percent are for dairy products and 1% for fruit juices. Of the 8,854 ads reviewed in the study, there were none for fruits or vegetables targeting children or teens.

Appeals Employed to Advertise Food. One in five (20%) food ads targeting children or teens include a push to a website, and a similar proportion (19%) include the offer of a premium, such as a game or toy. About one in ten (11%) have a tie-in to a children’s TV or movie character.

Physical Activity Portrayed. Fifteen percent of all food ads targeting children or teens include depictions of a physically active lifestyle, such as showing children skateboarding, snowboarding, or playing basketball.

Public Service Advertising. The study also measured children’s exposure to public service messages on fitness or nutrition (whether donated or paid). Children 2-7 and 8-12 see an average of one such message every 2-3 days (164 a year for 2-7 year-olds and 158 a year for 8-12 year-olds). Teens 13-17 see just one such message per week, for an average of 47 per year.

Wonkette 4: Party List

If you're planning to vote for a PartyList group in May, please consider your vote carefully, as only the right votes will be counted.

We need partylist groups who will truly fight for our needs as a people instead of their own vested interests or that of the formerly-wealthy elite. A partylist group that is not red, or yellow, or black and white. People who will truly have the well-being of the Economist and the Rule of Lawyers at heart!

It is in this light that we humbly submit to you a list of the PartyList organizations that we hope you will remember come May 14. We present to you... our M-R-P, our Most Recommended PartyList groups:

AAAAAAA - Alyansa ng mga taga-Alabang, Angeles, Apalit, Antipolo at Aklan na kamag-anak ng mga Arroyo (7A!)
Nominees:
1) Aaron Arroyo
2) Abel Arroyo
3) Ace Arroyo

AAAAAA - Asosasyon ng mga taga-Alaga ng Aquarium, Aso at Alimango ng mga Arroyo (6A!)
Nominees:
1) Adrian Arroyo
2) Agnes Arroyo
3) Alice Arroyo

AAAAAABA - Aktibong Atletang Atenista, Assumptionista At iba pang Alalay ng Barangay Arroyo (ABANTE ARROYO!)
Nominees:
1) Amy Arroyo
2) Anthony Arroyo
3) Arthur Arroyo

This appeal is brought to you by your tax pesoses, Comelec Chairman Ben Abalosses and most importantly, the Presidential ffice of External Affairs... Guiding Worthy PartyList groups to Eternity and Beyond Since 2004!

Don't forget our slogan! "Team Unity, Totally Arroyo!" (T.U.T.A. all the way!)

p.s. Kung sakaling nalito po kayo sa mga ads ng aming mga kandidato, gusto lang po namin linawin na HINDI PO tumatakbo si Boy Abunda. Baka po sa 2010.

Bollywood Does Bruce Lee

with a victorious dance sequence at the end

Wonkette 3: Campaign Tips

From Tom Wilbur of Michigan. i got these from Rules of Thumb

Candidates with strong, aggressive personalities and “programs” to sell get elected half as often and half as long as accommodating, compromising candidates who are interesting persons and want to provide “constituent services.”

For every person who wants to get involved in your campaign by contributing money, putting up a lawn sign, distributing literature, or signing an endorsement letter, expect ten to fifteen votes on election day.

While money doesn’t guarantee a victory, the lack of money guarantees a loss.

About 5 to 15 percent of the voters in a local race will cast a vote with no information at all (more if they are nearing the end of a long ballot). You can plan on getting a random half of these votes.

Tall candidates with short names get elected twice as often as short candidates with long names.

Holy Week Aloha

This Holy Week, the hotels and motels and others are fully booked. Expect relatives or firends to come into your house, knock on your doors and there's no way you can hide. Here are some few suggestions for you.

Ninja!!!!

Dreadlocks

Sometimes a poem is not only full of insight but also information. Here's a poem by
William Matthews which I typed from "Ploughshares" Winter 1994 issue

Bob Marley’s Hair

The dreadlocks had all fallen off
from chemotherapy, and so
when Marley died in Switzerland
they flew the body in the hold

to Kingston, where he would lie
in state, or in the anti-state he’d
written all those hymns for, his face
ironed into repose and sweet,

Or bland if sweet couldn’t be done.
“Baldheads” is what Rasta call
white people. The body needed not
just hair, but the corkscrewed waterfall

in all the photographs, the coiled crown
he could fling that would spring back,
the curtain he could part or close,
his proud tatters. No wig could fake that.

So on the same flight Marley’s
mother rode home with his dreadlocks.
Thirty-eight thousand feet they reached, and then
came down, On her lap, in a box.

Ten Husbands

Too long to text to Delmar, Alex and Joya. So here:

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom.
“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”
“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”
“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”